My Colon

[Jones]

Will be scoped tomorrow, so today it is being cleansed.

I have been fasting since last night.

Ten minutes ago, I chugged down the prescribed bottle of Phosphates Solution, mixed with the champagne of ginger ales.

Ten minutes from now, I fear my toilet will be visited with a furious anger not witnessed since the last time I ate KFC.

I will keep you posted.

 

[Chi City 81]

Ummm ... thanks?

Also, enjoy having a foreign object shoved up your ass. I know you usually do.

 

[JBHawkEye]

This thread, and Jones' trip to the can, will not end well.

 

[JBHawkEye]

And good luck on the colonoscopy.

 

[Clever username]

Jones, I feel for you buddy. I had to go through the prep twice in a month's span. I was near homicidal after I went through it the first time and they told me I wasn't "prepared" enough to undergo the procedure. The nurses were terrified. The prep truly is the hardest part.

 

[Football_Bat]

Jones' end will not end well.

 

[slappy4428]

may your colon be clean and smooth... unlike this guy

 

[Jones]

More kind words, please and thank you.

My stomach just made a noise that I can only describe as alarming.

I have also begun to cramp.

I am afraid.

 

[jgmacg]

Bring a book.

A waterproof book.

 

[Clever username]

You can't think like that. The more your insides turn to liquid and come spraying out, the closer you are to not having to drink that evil swill anymore. And then you're that much closer to the whole thing being over with.

 

[Pastor]

Looking at the thread title left me with only two thoughts.
1) Jones' hairy ass was on display again.
2) Boots has a new neighbor.

Will be scoped tomorrow, so today it is being cleansed.

I have been fasting since last night.

Ten minutes ago, I chugged down the prescribed bottle of Phosphates Solution, mixed with the champagne of ginger ales.

Ten minutes from now, I fear my toilet will be visited with a furious anger not witnessed since the last time I ate KFC.

I will keep you posted.

I am going to guess that you have never had the joy of eating at White Castle.

 

[Clever username]

Should I proud or mortified that I have expert knowledge on the subject of this thread?

 

[writing irish]

 

[Ace]

Jones,

Wouldn't now be a good time to take an airplane ride?

 

[slappy4428]

More kind words, please and thank you.

My stomach just made a noise that I can only describe as alarming.

I have also begun to cramp.

I am afraid.

I can only give you this advice and hope you have some on hand, because from the sound of it, you'll need it soon. If not, send Mrs. Jones on a run (sorry).
Charmin with lotion and Aloe Vera.

And Pastor, White Castle is to a colonscopy what an oil change in to rebuilding the engine. Both are beneficial, but one is a quick fix. The other is a colonoscopy.

 

[Jones]

Well, that was horrifying.

But I think I found the Lego man -- a sailor -- I swallowed when I was eight.

Unfortunately, he was missing his hat.

 

[Jones]

Not dissimilar.

 

[Clever username]

I should post the pics I have of my colon. It wouldn't quite be Flash flashing everyone, but it'd be something.

 

[hockeybeat]

I know a synagogue, Jonesy...

 

[jgmacg]

The prep is bad, yes.

You won't know real fear, though, until your gastroentorologist holds aloft the business end of his 10,000 candlepower, 2.4, 10x variable zoom 19 - 108 wide-angle sigmoido steadicam and says to you, just as the drugs take hold,

"Say hello to my little friend."