Let Them Begin. . . Michael Jackson Jokes

[Just_An_SID]

It took less than an hour from the announcement of his death before I got the first Michael Jackson is dead joke via email.

Since I am already going to hell for other reasons, I have opted to start a new thread.

If you think that this is uncalled for, then please skip over this instead of scrolling down.














I warned you.






Why couldn't the doctors revive Michael Jackson?
They didn't have the right equipment because MJ had insisted on being taken to a Children's Hospital.

Go ahead and add your best (or worst):

 

[Armchair_QB]

I don't have a joke but I will ask, how would you like to be the guy who had to give mouth-to-mouth to Michael Jackson?

 

[albert77]

I don't know who gets credit for this, but this was my wife's favorite:

"America is such a great country. Look at Michael Jackson. Only in America could a poor black boy grow up to be a rich white woman."

 

[mustangj17]

What is Michael Jackson's idea of a perfect 10?


Answer: Two five year old boys.


And I don't feel bad about making fun of a pervert.

 

[HejiraHenry]

I would like to have been at the press conference, just to ask:

"How old, approximately, was the person who called 9-1-1?"

 

[Steak Snabler]

Why did Michael Jackson shop at K-Mart?

Because he heard they had a sale: Little boys' pants half-off.

And here's one from the mid-80s:

What do Michael Jackson and the Atlanta Braves have in common?

They both wear one glove for no apparent reason.

 

[slappy4428]

I would like to have been at the press conference, just to ask:

"How old, approximately, was the person who called 9-1-1?"

Nice...

 

[HejiraHenry]

The Onion: Last Piece Of Michael Jackson Dies

 

[Trey Beamon]

What is Michael Jackson's idea of a perfect 10?


Answer: Two five year old boys.

Hate to say it, but this made me laugh really hard.

 

[write then drink]

Jackson actually died of food poisoning.

He ate 12-year-old nuts.




I know, I know ....

 

[BYH]

Jackson actually died of food poisoning.

He ate 12-year-old nuts.




I know, I know ....

Wow, that's so funny. Is this 1988 again? That's so awesome. Do you have any good Yakoff Smirnoff jokes too?

And from the guy who is always so quick to determine what is and isn't funny at SJ and what does and does not offend his delicate sensibilities.

Once again: To be called unfunny by you is perhaps the highest complement anyone can ever receive here.

 

[azom]

In honor of Michael Jackson's death, McDonald's will be serving free "MJ Burgers" on Friday.

50-year-old meat between 10-year-old buns.

 

[trademark]

Go ahead and add your best (or worst):

If nothing else, the average sanity of Americans just got a slight boost.

Michael Jackson asked Ed McMahon if they were in the afterlife, and Ed said "You are correct, sir!"

Maybe they can duet on this (MJ can make gender-appropriate changes):

http://www.hostropolis.com/april/mp3/Thank_Heaven.mp3

Interesting, too, that right above that file on the mesmerizing April Winchell site (http://www.aprilwinchell.com/audio/) is this one:

http://www.hostropolis.com/april/mp3/Farrah_You.mp3


Who will make a "comes in threes" joke?

Is "too soon" obsolete?

 

[schiezainc]

Gotta add one to this.... Saw this on Facebook.....

"Michael Jackson's family has requested his body be melted down and made into plastics toys so kids could play with him for a change."

 

[write then drink]

Jackson actually died of food poisoning.

He ate 12-year-old nuts.




I know, I know ....

Wow, that's so funny. Is this 1988 again? That's so awesome. Do you have any good Yakoff Smirnoff jokes too?

And from the guy who is always so quick to determine what is and isn't funny at SJ and what does and does not offend his delicate sensibilities.

Once again: To be called unfunny by you is perhaps the highest complement anyone can ever receive here.

hey, wrong usage of "complement."

you meant "compliment."

i assume you don't know the difference because you've never gotten one

 

[txsportsscribe]

Jackson actually died of food poisoning.

He ate 12-year-old nuts.




I know, I know ....

Wow, that's so funny. Is this 1988 again? That's so awesome. Do you have any good Yakoff Smirnoff jokes too?

And from the guy who is always so quick to determine what is and isn't funny at SJ and what does and does not offend his delicate sensibilities.

Once again: To be called unfunny by you is perhaps the highest complement anyone can ever receive here.

hey, wrong usage of "complement."

you meant "compliment."

i assume you don't know the difference because you've never gotten one

ok, that's funny

 

[BYH]

Ehh, I've gotten a few compliments in my day. Always mix up compliment/complement, and I'll probably do it again. Interesting that all you can muster up is a comment about a grammatical error on a message board, though. Guess the rest of my post was too accurate for you to argue.

And when my grammatical errors are funnier and more interesting than anything you've ever posted, it should be a sign that you fail at everything.

 

[Football_Bat]

How can you tell when it's bedtime at the Michael Jackson house?

When the big hand touches the little hand.

 

[Rumpleforeskin]

What's 5 + 50 + 6?

A threesome with Michael Jackson.

 

[Just_An_SID]

Ehh, I've gotten a few compliments in my day. Always mix up compliment/complement, and I'll probably do it again. Interesting that all you can muster up is a comment about a grammatical error on a message board, though. Guess the rest of my post was too accurate for you to argue.

And when my grammatical errors are funnier and more interesting than anything you've ever posted, it should be a sign that you fail at everything.

44,000 posts to 1,500. . . this won't even be a fair fight.

BYH will win with a barrage of comments that will send another poster hiding on the jobs board.