A Prayer and a Lesson

[Evil Bastard (aka Chris_L)]

Whip it - Devo

 

[bigpern23]

I only wish I was kidding about this. It is my fault that I find humor in the suffering of others. People on the board know that is a fault of mine.

I've come to grips with my cynicism - but I'm surprised that so many here are poking fun at Idaho in his moment of trial. He has stuck up for many of the very ones who are now poking fun at his affliction. I wouldn't be surprised to see a more bitter - seeing the truth of things - taking no prisoners - Idaho return to the board once he's able to handle bandwidth without spanking.

Hey, I just think it's a tragic way for guy to get carpal tunnel.

PHOTOGRAPHER: You know who's hands they remind me of? (Pauses for effect) Idaho's.

GEORGE: Who was he?

PHOTOGRAPHER: The most exquisite hands you've ever seen.. Oh, he had it all.

GEORGE: What happened to him?

MAN: Tragic story, I'm afraid. He could've had any woman in the world ... but none could match the beauty of his own hand.. and that became his one true love..

GEORGE: You mean, uh..?

MAN: Yes. he was not ... master of his domain.

GEORGE: But how.. uh..?

MAN: The muscles ... became so strained with overuse, that eventually the hand locked into a deformed position, and he was left with nothing but a claw. He traveled the world seeking a cure ... acupuncturists, herbalists, swamis ... nothing helped. He couldn't even post on SportsJournalists.com anymore. Towards the end, his hands became so frozen the was unable to manipulate utensils, and was dependent on Cub Scouts to feed him. I hadn't seen another pair of hands like Idaho's until today. You are his successor. I ... only hope you have a little more ... self-control.

 

[Ace]

It's so much more fun when it's not put in layman's terms, Ace.

Sorry.

I mean to say that stories abound about Idaho's mysterious recent lack of posts and Chris' version was told to him off the record by two anonymous sources, so he's running with it.

Plus, when you are home with four kids all watching the Wiggles and the wife is clocking in 80-hour weeks, what else is a boy to do?

 

[cranberry]

You know what started Idaho down this painful road to self-destruction?

Caffeine.

It's one of those "gateway" drugs.

 

[Gutter]

PHOTOGRAPHER: You know who's hands they remind me of? (Pauses for effect) Idaho's.

GEORGE: Who was he?

PHOTOGRAPHER: The most exquisite hands you've ever seen.. Oh, he had it all.

GEORGE: What happened to him?

MAN: Tragic story, I'm afraid. He could've had any woman in the world ... but none could match the beauty of his own hand.. and that became his one true love..

GEORGE: You mean, uh..?

MAN: Yes. he was not ... master of his domain.

GEORGE: But how.. uh..?

MAN: The muscles ... became so strained with overuse, that eventually the hand locked into a deformed position, and he was left with nothing but a claw. He traveled the world seeking a cure ... acupuncturists, herbalists, swamis ... nothing helped. He couldn't even post on SportsJournalists.com anymore. Towards the end, his hands became so frozen the was unable to manipulate utensils, and was dependent on Cub Scouts to feed him. I hadn't seen another pair of hands like Idaho's until today. You are his successor. I ... only hope you have a little more ... self-control.

You don't have to worry about me ... I won a contest.

 

[poindexter]

I know Idaho likes to show off his kids and stuff, but I thought this was a particularly disturbing Holiday card to send. My wife threw it out.

 

[zeke12]

Jackson Browne -- Rosie.

 

[Evil Bastard (aka Chris_L)]

Welcome back Idaho. Make sure you stay away from the BangBus.

BTW - isn't one of the steps to your recovery to apologize to those you did wrong? Well remember that time you left your "enthusiasm" all over my back at the strip club? The dry cleaning bill wasn't cheap. I'm waiting.

 

[Twoback]

Jackson Browne -- Rosie.

Steely Dan: Rose Darlin'

"All I ask of you is make my wildest dreams come true."