Yes, this means YOU.

[patchs]

I once spanked it at work. Granted, it was 20 years ago, meaning that I was 18 years old. I was an elevator operator at an old hotel in California. (cue Gypsy Kings version of Hotel California from The Big Lebowski...)

It was the overnight shift and I was bored and yes, horny, as 18-year-old guys who have been looking at hot California babes all day can be. So, I stopped the elevator between floors and worked off a quick one, again, as 18-year-olds can and will do. I shot into the filthy void of the elevator shaft...it was a manual door, so I just opened the door while I was stopped between floors and spewed into the empty space between the elevator and the wall. I quickly went to a restroom and washed up, so I didn't do the rest of my shift with a jizzy right hand. Even as a teenaged horndog, I was fairly hygienic. I remember feeling a minor sense of victory that I had been paid to spank it, even though it was just minimum wage.

He was masterbating!!

 

[Sxysprtswrtr]

It\'s so much easier for you guys to do this at work.

I\'d be more impressed if that Craigslist ad were from a woman about another woman. NOW that IS talent!

 

[BYH]

I once spanked it at work. Granted, it was 20 years ago, meaning that I was 18 years old. I was an elevator operator at an old hotel in California. (cue Gypsy Kings version of Hotel California from The Big Lebowski...)

It was the overnight shift and I was bored and yes, horny, as 18-year-old guys who have been looking at hot California babes all day can be. So, I stopped the elevator between floors and worked off a quick one, again, as 18-year-olds can and will do. I shot into the filthy void of the elevator shaft...it was a manual door, so I just opened the door while I was stopped between floors and spewed into the empty space between the elevator and the wall. I quickly went to a restroom and washed up, so I didn't do the rest of my shift with a jizzy right hand. Even as a teenaged horndog, I was fairly hygienic. I remember feeling a minor sense of victory that I had been paid to spank it, even though it was just minimum wage.

Why does this remind me of the scene in Clerks where the guys are talking about blowing themselves?

WRITING IRISH FRIEND: Come on. Haven't you ever tried to jerk off at work?

WRITING IRISH: No!

WRITING IRISH FRIEND: Yeah sure. You're so repressed.

WRITING IRISH: Because I never tried to jerk off at work?

WRITING IRISH FRIEND: No, because you won't admit to it. As if a guy's a ****ing pervert because he tries to jerk off at work. You're as curious as the rest of us, pal. You've tried it.

***interlude***

WRITING IRISH: I could never finish.

WRITING IRISH FRIEND: Never what?

WRITING IRISH: You know.

WRITING IRISH FRIEND: What, jerking off at work?

WRITING IRISH: Yeah. Like you said, you know. I guess everyone tries it, sooner or later.

WRITING IRISH FRIEND: I never tried it. ****ing pervert.

 

[Wonderlic]

Suburban Philly Craig's List, Round 2:

http://philadelphia.craigslist.org/rnr/290369887.html

 

[Steve Hackett]

http://www.ninjapirate.com/images/bus.jpg

 

[westcoastvol]

Everyone who's beat off at work, raise your...other...hand.

*raising right hand*

 

[forever_town]

Bud Light presents "Real Men of Genius" Real Men of Genius

Today, we salute YOU, Mr. Office Bathroom Masturbator! Mr. Office Bathroom Masturbator!

Maybe it was that hot little minx in purchasing or the new receptionist with the tight sweater and short skirt
Or maybe you just figured now was the best time to give a squirt can't wait no longerrrrrr

Forced from your cubicle, you seek the only refuge you can find -- a public restroom I'm maaaaastering my domaiiiiiiin

Self-gratification never felt so right [/i]oooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh[/i] Or so wrong excuse me Mr. Templeton

But keep at it! If something's going to get whacked today, it might as well come from your hands! Buddy, can you hand me a towel?

So crack open an ice cold Bud Light Mr. Office Bathroom Masturbator! If Rosie Palm is going to take dictation, she's going to need a drink in hand first! Mr. Office Bathroom Masturbaaaator

This right here is why I cruise this site as often as I do. Comedy GOLD.

rb

I'm so glad no one is here in the office right now to hear me laughing like an idiot. I'm glad I'm not drinking a Coke right now or I'd spray the monitor.

Thanks for the laugh there Freelance Hack.

 

[21]

I'd love to know how this year-old thread resurfaced, but fyi, the niafl is offering a $10,000 reward leading to the capture and unconditional surrender of Freelance Hack.

 

[forever_town]

I didn't pay attention to the dates and didn't realize the thread was as old as it was. And I just spent a full minute cracking up over that Freelance Hack "commercial."

 

[ralph wiggum]

I'd love to know how this year-old thread resurfaced, but fyi, the niafl is offering a $10,000 reward leading to the capture and unconditional surrender of Freelance Hack.

I'm glad this thing resurfaced, because I missed FH's brilliance the first time around. Just had to explain to the person next to me why I was laughing so damn hard.

 

[John]

I love the Best of Craigslist. Always entertaining reading.

 

[KYSportsWriter]

I'd love to know how this year-old thread resurfaced, but fyi, the niafl is offering a $10,000 reward leading to the capture and unconditional surrender of Freelance Hack.

That's some serious coin there.

 

[21]

He owes us a lot of money.

 

[BYH]

At this point we just want freelance hack back so we can harvest his organs to third-world doctors.

 

[Baron Scicluna]

Bud Light presents "Real Men of Genius" Real Men of Genius

Today, we salute YOU, Mr. Office Bathroom Masturbator! Mr. Office Bathroom Masturbator!

Maybe it was that hot little minx in purchasing or the new receptionist with the tight sweater and short skirt
Or maybe you just figured now was the best time to give a squirt can't wait no longerrrrrr

Forced from your cubicle, you seek the only refuge you can find -- a public restroom I'm maaaaastering my domaiiiiiiin

Self-gratification never felt so right [/i]oooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh[/i] Or so wrong excuse me Mr. Templeton

But keep at it! If something's going to get whacked today, it might as well come from your hands! Buddy, can you hand me a towel?

So crack open an ice cold Bud Light Mr. Office Bathroom Masturbator! If Rosie Palm is going to take dictation, she's going to need a drink in hand first! Mr. Office Bathroom Masturbaaaator

Hysterical. Well done.