Yes, this means YOU.

[Starman]

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/phi/290529230.html

: :-X

 

[Freelance Hack]

Bud Light presents "Real Men of Genius" Real Men of Genius

Today, we salute YOU, Mr. Office Bathroom Masturbator! Mr. Office Bathroom Masturbator!

Maybe it was that hot little minx in purchasing or the new receptionist with the tight sweater and short skirt
Or maybe you just figured now was the best time to give a squirt can't wait no longerrrrrr

Forced from your cubicle, you seek the only refuge you can find -- a public restroom I'm maaaaastering my domaiiiiiiin

Self-gratification never felt so right [/i]oooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh[/i] Or so wrong excuse me Mr. Templeton

But keep at it! If something's going to get whacked today, it might as well come from your hands! Buddy, can you hand me a towel?

So crack open an ice cold Bud Light Mr. Office Bathroom Masturbator! If Rosie Palm is going to take dictation, she's going to need a drink in hand first! Mr. Office Bathroom Masturbaaaator

 

[Rockbottom]

Bud Light presents "Real Men of Genius" Real Men of Genius

Today, we salute YOU, Mr. Office Bathroom Masturbator! Mr. Office Bathroom Masturbator!

Maybe it was that hot little minx in purchasing or the new receptionist with the tight sweater and short skirt
Or maybe you just figured now was the best time to give a squirt can't wait no longerrrrrr

Forced from your cubicle, you seek the only refuge you can find -- a public restroom I'm maaaaastering my domaiiiiiiin

Self-gratification never felt so right [/i]oooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh[/i] Or so wrong excuse me Mr. Templeton

But keep at it! If something's going to get whacked today, it might as well come from your hands! Buddy, can you hand me a towel?

So crack open an ice cold Bud Light Mr. Office Bathroom Masturbator! If Rosie Palm is going to take dictation, she's going to need a drink in hand first! Mr. Office Bathroom Masturbaaaator

This right here is why I cruise this site as often as I do. Comedy GOLD.

rb

 

[goalmouth]

"ass gasket"!

 

[lapdog]

Who was that man?
I'd like to shake his hand...

On second thought, maybe not.

 

[Captain_Kirk]

that guy got off easy (pun intended). You try that in the Atlanta airport bathroom, and you're liable to get pinched by the law. Not even the chairman of the mass transit system can escape. Who knew the Hartsfield Jackson was such a little brothel?

http://www.ajc.com/services/content/metro/atlanta/stories/2007/03/14/0314martachairman.html?cxtype=rss&cxsvc=7&cxcat=13

 

[Trouser_Buddah]

Right after I turned 21, a guy I went to school with was barred for life from one of the more popular bars in my hometown after he was caught spanking the monkey in the bathroom stall.

But the funniest part about the whole thing was the Norwegian owner\'s retelling of the story. Some guy came out and complained because it was THAT loud and obnoxious...After a while, more guys come out and complain because he was STILL at it.

Finally the owner has to go in and put an end to the festivities...

And that still did not ruin the mood for the guy, who apparently was not going to stop until he reached his destination.

The funniest words I have ever heard with a Norwegian accent?

He just wouldn\'t stop! He just. Wouldn\'t. Stop.

 

[Huggy]

So crack open an ice cold Bud Light Mr. Office Bathroom Masturbator! If Rosie Palm is going to take dictation, she's going to need a drink in hand first! Mr. Office Bathroom Masturbaaaator

Absolutely brilliant. Best line I have seen on here in ages...

Well done, sir.

 

[Captain_Kirk]

Went to high school with a guy who was caught rubbing one out in the bathroom ... using peanut butter as a "lube." :-\

damn, hopefully not chunky. ouch.

 

[alleyallen]

Went to a journalism message board with a guy who was caught rubbing one out in the bathroom ... using toothpaste as a "lube." :-\

fixed.

 

[rico_the_redneck]

So crack open an ice cold Bud Light Mr. Office Bathroom Masturbator! If Rosie Palm is going to take dictation, she's going to need a drink in hand first! Mr. Office Bathroom Masturbaaaator

Absolutely brilliant. Best line I have seen on here in ages...

Well done, sir.

Amen. Had me in tears I was laughing so hard (no pun intended). Well done indeed.

 

[writing irish]

I once spanked it at work. Granted, it was 20 years ago, meaning that I was 18 years old. I was an elevator operator at an old hotel in California. (cue Gypsy Kings version of Hotel California from The Big Lebowski...)

It was the overnight shift and I was bored and yes, horny, as 18-year-old guys who have been looking at hot California babes all day can be. So, I stopped the elevator between floors and worked off a quick one, again, as 18-year-olds can and will do. I shot into the filthy void of the elevator shaft...it was a manual door, so I just opened the door while I was stopped between floors and spewed into the empty space between the elevator and the wall. I quickly went to a restroom and washed up, so I didn't do the rest of my shift with a jizzy right hand. Even as a teenaged horndog, I was fairly hygienic. I remember feeling a minor sense of victory that I had been paid to spank it, even though it was just minimum wage.

 

[Football_Bat]

I once spanked it at work. Granted, it was 20 years ago, meaning that I was 18 years old. I was an elevator operator at an old hotel in California. (cue Gypsy Kings version of Hotel California from The Big Lebowski...)

It was the overnight shift and I was bored and yes, horny, as 18-year-old guys who have been looking at hot California babes all day can be. So, I stopped the elevator between floors and worked off a quick one, again, as 18-year-olds can and will do. I shot into the filthy void of the elevator shaft...it was a manual door, so I just opened the door while I was stopped between floors and spewed into the empty space between the elevator and the wall. I quickly went to a restroom and washed up, so I didn't do the rest of my shift with a jizzy right hand. Even as a teenaged horndog, I was fairly hygienic. I remember feeling a minor sense of victory that I had been paid to spank it, even though it was just minimum wage.

Entirely too much information here.

Although I would suggest a mash-up of "Love In An Elevator" and "The Stroke" as background music.

 

[writing irish]

I won't contest the charge of too much information. But, as a couple of decades have passed, I feel distant enough from the event in question so that I don't mind inflicting it upon the board. Since manual elevators are an anachronism these days, I feel there's something almost charming in this semi-archaic setting for on-the-clock pud-pounding. Almost, but not really.

 

[Birdscribe]

Bud Light presents "Real Men of Genius" Real Men of Genius

Today, we salute YOU, Mr. Office Bathroom Masturbator! Mr. Office Bathroom Masturbator!

Maybe it was that hot little minx in purchasing or the new receptionist with the tight sweater and short skirt
Or maybe you just figured now was the best time to give a squirt can't wait no longerrrrrr

Forced from your cubicle, you seek the only refuge you can find -- a public restroom I'm maaaaastering my domaiiiiiiin

Self-gratification never felt so right [/i]oooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh[/i] Or so wrong excuse me Mr. Templeton

But keep at it! If something's going to get whacked today, it might as well come from your hands! Buddy, can you hand me a towel?

So crack open an ice cold Bud Light Mr. Office Bathroom Masturbator! If Rosie Palm is going to take dictation, she's going to need a drink in hand first! Mr. Office Bathroom Masturbaaaator

JD or the other swinging Richards in this sandbox, PLEASE put this somewhere it can be readily accessed for Post. Of. The. Year. consideration.

I can barely type this, I'm laughing so hard. Well done, FH. This is why I voted for you.

 

[Huggy]

I shot into the filthy void of the elevator shaft...

This sounds like a line that didn't make it into a Mickey Spillane novel.

 

[girl friday]

Bud Light presents "Real Men of Genius" Real Men of Genius

Today, we salute YOU, Mr. Office Bathroom Masturbator! Mr. Office Bathroom Masturbator!

Maybe it was that hot little minx in purchasing or the new receptionist with the tight sweater and short skirt
Or maybe you just figured now was the best time to give a squirt can't wait no longerrrrrr

Forced from your cubicle, you seek the only refuge you can find -- a public restroom I'm maaaaastering my domaiiiiiiin

Self-gratification never felt so right [/i]oooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh[/i] Or so wrong excuse me Mr. Templeton

But keep at it! If something's going to get whacked today, it might as well come from your hands! Buddy, can you hand me a towel?

So crack open an ice cold Bud Light Mr. Office Bathroom Masturbator! If Rosie Palm is going to take dictation, she's going to need a drink in hand first! Mr. Office Bathroom Masturbaaaator

wowser. that is an amazing feat. hee-larry-us.

 

[Write-brained]

Very good FH. Had me laughing out loud.

 

[dooley_womack1]

FH deserves a hand.

 

[Write-brained]

FH deserves a hand.

Yeah, but not THAT one ...