Your first time

[wickedwritah]

I would tell my first time story, but y'all would laugh at me and snicker and all that, and I'd feel like a dumbass. It probably lasted less than eight seconds, too.

****.

 

[BYH]

I would tell my first time story, but y'all would laugh at me and snicker and all that, and I'd feel like a dumbass. It probably lasted less than eight seconds, too.

That's more than one second though, right?

I mean, I'm just asking, and stuff.

 

[Angola!]

I would tell my first time story, but y'all would laugh at me and snicker and all that, and I'd feel like a dumbass. It probably lasted less than eight seconds, too.

****.

My first time was also the first time I smoked weed. It was a strange night.

 

[mike311gd]

"What the hell?" I think. "Something bad involving the Red Sox? I bet it was Schiraldi. Oh well. Lap, lap, lap, munch, munch, munch..."

I was wrong. THIS is the funniest thing I've ever read here.

Sorry Mike. You reek of fail again.

God damnit. And I just showered, too.

What a ****ing waste of water and Old Spice shower soap.

 

[wickedwritah]

I would tell my first time story, but y'all would laugh at me and snicker and all that, and I'd feel like a dumbass. It probably lasted less than eight seconds, too.

That's more than one second though, right?

I mean, I'm just asking, and stuff.

Maybe six. On a slow count. "One-one-thousand ... "

My first time was also the first time I smoked weed. It was a strange night.

I still have never inhaled. And I didn't take my cues from Clinton, either.

 

[mike311gd]

I would tell my first time story, but y'all would laugh at me and snicker and all that, and I'd feel like a dumbass. It probably lasted less than eight seconds, too.

That's more than one second though, right?

I mean, I'm just asking, and stuff.

Maybe six. On a slow count. "One-one-thousand ... "

My first time was also the first time I smoked weed. It was a strange night.

I still have never inhaled. And I didn't take my cues from Clinton, either.

I've never done a drug in my life. I guess I'm the only one who took D.A.R.E. seriously.

 

[buckweaver]

"What the hell?" I think. "Something bad involving the Red Sox? I bet it was Schiraldi. Oh well. Lap, lap, lap, munch, munch, munch..."

I was wrong. THIS is the funniest thing I've ever read here.

Sorry Mike. You reek of fail again.

God damnit. And I just showered, too.

What a ****ing waste of water and Old Spice shower soap.

Should've used Tag.

 

[mike311gd]

"What the hell?" I think. "Something bad involving the Red Sox? I bet it was Schiraldi. Oh well. Lap, lap, lap, munch, munch, munch..."

I was wrong. THIS is the funniest thing I've ever read here.

Sorry Mike. You reek of fail again.

God damnit. And I just showered, too.

What a ****ing waste of water and Old Spice shower soap.

Should've used Tag.

Does that remove the terrible stench of Fail?

 

[Overrated]

I've never done a drug in my life. I guess I'm the only one who took D.A.R.E. seriously.

I used to wear my D.A.R.E. t-shirt every time I bought pot.

 

[Angola!]

I would tell my first time story, but y'all would laugh at me and snicker and all that, and I'd feel like a dumbass. It probably lasted less than eight seconds, too.

That's more than one second though, right?

I mean, I'm just asking, and stuff.

Maybe six. On a slow count. "One-one-thousand ... "

My first time was also the first time I smoked weed. It was a strange night.

I still have never inhaled. And I didn't take my cues from Clinton, either.

I've never done a drug in my life. I guess I'm the only one who took D.A.R.E. seriously.

Steve Largent came to my elementary school and told me not to use drugs. I didn't use any until he became a crazed Republican Senator and I figured his advice no longer mattered.

 

[mike311gd]

I've never done a drug in my life. I guess I'm the only one who took D.A.R.E. seriously.

I used to wear my D.A.R.E. t-shirt every time I bought pot.

That's like wearing your "I Gave My Word To Stop At Third" shirt during sex. Priceless.

 

[mike311gd]

I would tell my first time story, but y'all would laugh at me and snicker and all that, and I'd feel like a dumbass. It probably lasted less than eight seconds, too.

That's more than one second though, right?

I mean, I'm just asking, and stuff.

Maybe six. On a slow count. "One-one-thousand ... "

My first time was also the first time I smoked weed. It was a strange night.

I still have never inhaled. And I didn't take my cues from Clinton, either.

I've never done a drug in my life. I guess I'm the only one who took D.A.R.E. seriously.

Steve Largent came to my elementary school and told me not to use drugs. I didn't use any until he became a crazed Republican Senator and I figured his advice no longer mattered.

We had an officer lecture us in fourth and fifth grade. But he didn't impact me so much. McGruff did.

 

[wickedwritah]

Occifer Friendly, as we called the DARE cops, never did much for me.

 

[spup1122]

Though I haven't read the entire thread, my first post was on the writer's workshop thread asking for advice on a story that actually never ran while I was still working at the paper. It ended up running with my quotes and data under the ME's byline.

 

[Flash]

What about the first time you got nailed, spup?

 

[budcrew08]

A complete thread jacking topped with a thumb sodomization.

This is writhing for thread of the year honors.

Apparently, Ace is dying to tell his story... Nice usage of the above words.

 

[budcrew08]

What about the first time you got nailed, spup?

SportsJournalists.com nation, lets get the kitten killing materials ready.

 

[spup1122]

What about the first time you got nailed, spup?

Uh, the day after Maryland won the national championship in my parent's house just before I went back to college.

 

[BYH]

I've never done a drug in my life. I guess I'm the only one who took D.A.R.E. seriously.

I used to wear my D.A.R.E. t-shirt every time I bought pot.

Reminds me of my best buddy in HS, who was president of a SADD-like group. It wasn't SADD, but its main purpose was organizing a drug- and alcohol-free New Years Eve party at the Y. So imagine my surprise when he showed up to said party drunk as a skunk.

no one was the wiser that year or at any time in HS. But during my second year away at college, he called me at 4 am on a Saturday morning. As soon as I heard his voice, I said "Who died?"

"I got busted for DUI," he said.

"Everyone OK?" I asked.

"Yeah."

Then I laughed. Hard. I always wondered if the teacher in charge of the group--he started the group after his wife was killed by a drunken driver--ever learned of my friend's arrest.

 

[buckweaver]

Got y'all beat on the T-shirts: My ex-roomie wore a DK shirt to the Sixth Floor Museum in Dallas, because I dragged him along and this was his "protest".

He about made an old lady fall down the stairs when she figured out what it was.