Your first time

[Rumpleforeskin]

God, I need a personal assistant. I obviously can't keep my own **** in line.

Coincidentally, boots just started a firm.

 

[BigDog]

God, I need a personal assistant. I obviously can't keep my own **** in line.

Coincidentally, boots just got firm. Give him eight seconds, and he'll give you some disease.

 

[writing irish]

Nice one, newb. I figured that the wee one had a knowldge of this place greater than his post total. No way was his debut the work of a 22-year-old preps writer in Outer Ass****, Neb., who just stumbled onto the site by search engine.

Didn't something happen in the original German fairy tale when someone said the li'l guy's name?

I'll say it and see what happens. I remember from the original story that it must be in maroon font to have the magic effect.

RUMPLEFORESKIN!

*waits*

 

[dooley_womack1]

I hear ya, Writing. I hope it's someone who didn't buy a membership under their old name, because that would be just weird, paying for two memberships.

 

[Ace]

Nice one, newb. I figured that the wee one had a knowldge of this place greater than his post total. No way was his debut the work of a 22-year-

old preps writer in Outer Ass****, Neb., who just stumbled onto the site by search engine.

Didn't something happen in the original German fairy tale when someone said the li'l guy's name?

I'll say it and see what happens. I remember from the original story that it must be in maroon font to have the magic effect.

RUMPLEFORESKIN!

*waits*

Congratulations. You just gave yourself genital herpes.

 

[writing irish]

No I didn't. I had my testicles crossed. That provides protection from the baneful effects of the wee one's name.

 

[Ace]

No I didn't. I had my testicles crossed. That provides protection from the baneful effects of the wee one's name.

Ah! The old blue ball block. Clever.

 

[writing irish]

However, I am experiencing extreme anxiety about the fact that I'm circumcised. I almost feel a phantom foreskin crying out to be reunited.

 

[Rumpleforeskin]

Writing, can't say I am going to run away at the sound of my name. You also won't catch me singing around a campfire.

 

[writing irish]

That's right, there wasn't a magic event, the imp ran away at the sound of his name. Or so it was in the story.

As far as my phantom foreskin sensibility, that's probably the result of typing the word "foreskin" repeatedly on this thread after years of not having typed the word.

 

[westcoastvol]

I went to college with a guy who'd randomly yell "Chew my foreskin!"

****in' hilarious.

 

[outofplace]

I went to college with a girl, who, if a guy said anything along the lines of "blow me" or "suck my ****," she would respond by saying, "Whip it out. If it reaches me, I'll consider it."

One day, a guy did exactly what she suggested. I'm not exactly sure how to describe the many shades of red she turned before running out of the room.

 

[westcoastvol]

I bagged groceries with a guy who was, to say the least, eccentric.

He told one of the cashiers in the stockroom that "If I can slap eight inches on a ruler, you'll **** me."

Six months later they married. Two years after that, they divorced, one of the reasons she cited was that "he wouldn't allow Coca-Cola to be brought into the house, period. He went ape**** after he saw an empty can of it in the trash can."

 

[Songbird]

So she's single now, right?

 

[westcoastvol]

Yes, and she drinks at least two liters of Coke per day.

Sometimes, she'll get nutty and drink a Coke Zero.

 

[Bubbler]

I bagged groceries with a guy who was, to say the least, eccentric.

He told one of the cashiers in the stockroom that "If I can slap eight inches on a ruler, you'll **** me."

Six months later they married. Two years after that, they divorced, one of the reasons she cited was that "he wouldn't allow Coca-Cola to be brought into the house, period. He went ape**** after he saw an empty can of it in the trash can."

You worked with my dad? [Z Man will be the only SJer to get that]

 

[BYH]

I'm pretty sure any explanation for that will be horribly awkward at best and "Bubbler's Got A Gun" at worst.