Twitter

[YGBFKM]

Got bored today and signed up. Now what?

 

[Dick Whitman]

Start looking up people an publications and following them. It's a tremendous place to get news.

 

[Songbird]

Great place to get everything you ever wanted, including Hofstra games, play by play ...

 

[Norrin Radd]

Got bored today and signed up. Now what?

Jeez, you really were bored.

Twitter is what you make of it, to borrow the cliche.

If you want news, follow newspeople and newsmakers you're interested in.

If you want parodies, follow those. @PimpBillClinton is a favorite.

If you want celebrities, follow them. Enjoy @the_ironsheik myself.

There is a thread here that has a lot of Twitter handles. Or just this list:

https://twitter.com/GunnSh0w/sjdotcom

Or this thread:

http://www.sportsjournalists.com/forum/threads/83904/

Follow a lot. see what interests you. If you want, you can always unfollow those that end up not impressing you.

You can tweet if you want. Or not.

Have fun.

 

[Inky_Wretch]

Find some Bears players and ask them to RT you.

 

[Captain Obvious]

Follow doodah.

 

[YGBFKM]

Find some Bears players and ask them to RT you.

*furiously scrambles to see if Jay Cutler is on Twitter*

 

[Versatile]

The first thing you're going to want to do is fill your profile. You can use that bio spot to quote your greatest influences, like The Bible or Jay Cutler. Or you could say something really clever. Mentioning character counts always wins friends and influences people. Or you could use a clever list mixing actual titles with hilarious personal things, like "Journalist, father, husband, harvester of sorrow, Bears fan, crime-scene investigator." Or you could call out the asshole cowards and show your toughness.

When you've suitably impressed people with your profile, you're ready to start following people. Aim for that middle ground; Glenn Beck won't ever retweet you, but J'Marcus Webb might. So you find a few ideal targets, then you figure out what to say. Twitter is a place for happy thoughts, so be sure to praise the person you're tweeting at as well as God. Or you can make racist death threats. These are your only options.

The goal is to find people who think exactly like you and never disagree with you, so seek out those tweeting similar things. You can put #TeamFollowBack into your profile so people know you want them to follow you back. Then you can start exchanging fun links to cat photos and angry political blog posts.

Be sure to link to and effuse praise on everything everyone you know writes. This will let people know how well connected you are. People who know writers are better than other people. Be sure to tag the writer and publication in the tweet so they know to retweet you and thank you for the compliment. You can favorite those compliments to remind yourself how many friends you have.

But mostly, you should follow Darren Rovell. He is the Walrus.

 

[Norrin Radd]

The first thing you're going to want to do is fill your profile. You can use that bio spot to quote your greatest influences, like The Bible or Jay Cutler. Or you could say something really clever. Mentioning character counts always wins friends and influences people. Or you could use a clever list mixing actual titles with hilarious personal things, like "Journalist, father, husband, harvester of sorrow, Bears fan, crime-scene investigator." Or you could call out the asshole cowards and show your toughness.

When you've suitably impressed people with your profile, you're ready to start following people. Aim for that middle ground; Glenn Beck won't ever retweet you, but J'Marcus Webb might. So you find a few ideal targets, then you figure out what to say. Twitter is a place for happy thoughts, so be sure to praise the person you're tweeting at as well as God. Or you can make racist death threats. These are your only options.

The goal is to find people who think exactly like you and never disagree with you, so seek out those tweeting similar things. You can put #TeamFollowBack into your profile so people know you want them to follow you back. Then you can start exchanging fun links to cat photos and angry political blog posts.

Be sure to link to and effuse praise on everything everyone you know writes. This will let people know how well connected you are. People who know writers are better than other people. Be sure to tag the writer and publication in the tweet so they know to retweet you and thank you for the compliment. You can favorite those compliments to remind yourself how many friends you have.

But mostly, you should follow Darren Rovell. He is the Walrus.

Don't forget to trumpet your favorite teams and the fact that all opinions are your own in your bio. If you cook at ALL, be sure to take photos of every single meal and hashtag them #foodie. If you also put #foodie in your bio, people will flock.

Find some Bears players and ask them to RT you.

*furiously scrambles to see if Jay Cutler is on Twitter*

https://twitter.com/NotJayCutler

 

[TheSportsPredictor]

Challenge someone to a boxing match.

 

[YGBFKM]

My first follows:

Thin Lizzy
Pantera
Gov't Mule
Jason Isbell
Drive-by Truckers
Ryan Adams

Chicago Bears
Peanut Tillman

My first tweet will be asking Tillman for Jay Cutler's cell number.

Favorite tweet so far is from Isbell while watching last night's Cotton Bowl: Dewey from Malcolm in the Middle has turned into one he'll of a quarterback.

I'll get to the news/political stuff eventually.

 

[LongTimeListener]

If an athlete's sibling or parent is on Twitter, follow that person, as it will be awesomely destructive.

 

[Shoeless Joe]

Cloyd Rivers

 

[YGBFKM]

If an athlete's sibling or parent is on Twitter, follow that person, as it will be awesomely destructive.

What about Kristin Cavallari?

 

[Batman]

Have you advanced to tweeting pictures yet?
I hear it's a Twitter rite of passage to post one of yourself naked in a mirror as soon as humanly possible.

 

[dooley_womack1]

He can forgo that step, I'm sure we can all agree.

 

[Boom_70]

Send a tweet to Keith Olberman. He'll enjoy hearing from you and might tweet you back.

 

[NoOneLikesUs]

D-list celebrities are a blast. Start with Adrianne Curry.

 

[TigerVols]

The best parody account is GoldmanSachsElevator. Brilliant **** there.

OldHossRadbourne is a close second.

 

[spikechiquet]

#donttweetlikethisallthetime #itsstupid Amirite @randomguy?