To be a house guest?

[Frank_Ridgeway]

I e-mailed a friend to tell her we'd be vacationing in her city and that we'd like to see her if she had time. Last time we were there, she had just moved there and we all went to dinner and she said next time skip the hotel and stay here. I gave her an out, saying she might not like that because we keep weird hours. We were planning to stay in a hotel, but she is saying we should stay in her guest room. Wife and I are mulling, need to decide tonight.

Pro:

1.) Significantly cheaper.

2.) She lives a couple miles from the beach.

3.) Nice house.

4.) She is good company but thus far only in relatively small doses, several hours at a time rather than several days.

5.) She's good friends with both of us as I knew her first but coincidentally my wife met her independently, and only a month or so later did she figure out that her two new acquaintences were living together.

Con:

1.) Less privacy for the, umm, married couple to do, umm, married things on vacation.

2.) Another person's wants to add into the time-management equation.

3.) We value her friendship, don't want to annoy her with any of our weird habits.

 

[Dyno]

You don't say how long you'll be there, but maybe you can spend a night or two with her and the rest of the time in a hotel. You'd save some money and you can see if you can take her (or if she can take you)in larger doses.

 

[OTD]

I always appreciate the offer, but seldom stay with friends if I can avoid it. In addition to the . . . things married people do . . . it's just a convenience factor: I don't like to be on anyone else's schedule, which you must be when you stay with someone else. I don't like having to worry about using up my host's hot water in the shower, I don't like having to watch "American Idol" because that's what my host likes, and I don't like dealing with unfamiliar pets.

If you're worried about offending your host, tell her you had [fill in the blank] points you had to burn up, so you're staying at the [fill in the blank] hotel.

 

[Ace]

Threesome threads are so last month.

 

[Frank_Ridgeway]

and I don't like dealing with unfamiliar pets.

People who stay with us wind up with a cat sleeping on them if they fail to heed our advice to keep the door closed. It is the cat's bed, after all.

 

[Ace]

Seriously, I don't like staying with friends/family so much at their places. At neutral sites -- hotel, condo, beach house, whatever, that's great.

You just don't want to be sucked into or complicating their daily routine.

 

[leo1]

for me the decision is made based on the homeowner's personality.

my wife and i will only stay with our friends who are of the type that have no interest in entertaining us for the entire stay. they plan to go about their lives while we're there. we'll go out a few times with them and hang out a little but we only stay with people who are cool with us doing our own thing.

we get a lot of houseguests since we live in south florida. i'm fine when friends come down here and just come and go as they please. we'll go out to dinner a couple times and maybe spend one weekend day together, but they're on their own otherwise. and they know this; they don't expect us to plan an itinerary.

as for not being able to get good vacation sex? yeah, that's a drawback. but with our way of doing things, we're often home alone without our friends. just wash the sheets please.

 

[qtlaw]

Avoid unless they've got a huge house or the finances are pressing. Its hard enough with in-laws.

 

[Evil ... Thy name is Orville Redenbacher!!]

If you have to ask, err on the side of caution and get a room.
Everybody is happy all the way around.

 

[bagelchick]

This is tricky. I always am fine with people staying at my house because they have their own king-sized bed, satellite dish and bathroom. Basically they are not infringing in my space. The only problem I have with them is that the guy smokes and he should just take it upon himself to go outside rather than ask if "it's okay" because I feel rude if I say no.

I have a friend in Vermont that I will stay with because her guest room is actually in the basement of her house, so again, not infringing on their space and I can stay up late and watch TV and not bother anyone.

Now, a bunch of my college roommates got together in Florida and it was a big of a nightmare. Two of us had to sleep on cots, she didn't have enough pillows and 4 of us had to share a bathroom. Hindsight being 20/20 I would've rather paid for a hotel room.

Good luck.

 

[JR]

Frank, in a word, no.

 

[Platyrhynchos]

Good thing BYH didn't/won't see this.