The Lake House

[dog428]

I have sworn on this board many a time that no movie would ever surpass the absolute suckiness that is "Windtalkers."

I was wrong.

"The Lake House" has done the impossible. I swear to God, this is the absolute ****tiest film I've ever sat through. It hits the trifecta -- plot, acting and script. They all suck absolute balls.

Since spoiling the plot might actually keep some of you from watching this ****, I'm gonna go ahead and consider what I'm about to post my public service for the week.

Here's what you're dealing with: A woman moves out of this lake house she's been renting and leaves a letter in the mailbox informing the next tenant to pass her mail on to her forwarding address. The guy who comes in behind her finds her letter in the mailbox and can't figure out what she's talking about, since he owns the lake house and no one other than his family has ever lived in it. As these two exchange letters, they figure out -- I SWEAR TO YOU THAT I'M NOT MAKING THIS **** UP -- they're living two years apart -- he's in 2004 and she's in 2006.

Un-by God-believable how bad this thing is. You spend the entire movie saying to yourself, "What the hell?"

It's simply unimaginable that a movie studio read this script and said, "Gold." Hell, it's unimaginable that anyone even put this **** down on paper and showed to someone else.

God, it's terrible.

 

[ifilus]

It's imaginable that the movie studio imagined someone would be foolish enough to spend his money on a ticket.
And you proved them right.

 

[DyePack]

It's imaginable that the movie studio imagined someone would be foolish enough to spend his money on a ticket.
And you proved them right.

And absurdo dogturdo has been schooled.

The bell rings. Time to go home and get that sugar cookie, absurdo. The lesson is over.

 

[HoopsMcCann]

there are these people, perhaps you've heard of them, who work at these things called newspapers and they go to movies and tell their readers if the movie sucked. you know, maybe you should look into 'em

(and i'm not talking about dog)

 

[dog428]

there are these people, perhaps you've heard of them, who work at these things called newspapers and they go to movies and tell their readers if the movie sucked. you know, maybe you should look into 'em

(and i'm not talking about dog)

The truly sad thing here is that me and polo have had this discussion before, back when dude went completely ape-**** crazy over the Wedding Crashers. Dumb, an asshole and forgetful -- not a good combo there, polo.

For the record, I haven't paid to see a movie in years. And if I had a choice, I wouldn't have stuck around for more than 30 minutes of this ****ty film.

 

[DyePack]

there are these people, perhaps you've heard of them, who work at these things called newspapers and they go to movies and tell their readers if the movie sucked. you know, maybe you should look into 'em

(and i'm not talking about dog)

If dogturdo ...

Never mind. There's no good way of responding to this without violating the board rules.

 

[westcoastvol]

" It's simply unimaginable that a movie studio read this script and said, "Gold." Hell, it's unimaginable that anyone even put this **** down on paper and showed to someone else.

Speed 1 box office: 121.2 million dollars
Speed 2 box office:  48.6 million dollars

Keanu's career gross:  $1,635,699,504
Sandra's career gross: $1,114,310,175

Source: boxofficemojo.com

 

[westcoastvol]

I SWEAR TO YOU THAT I'M NOT MAKING THIS **** UP -- they're living two years apart -- he's in 2004 and she's in 2006.

If he's been dead since 2004, that would make it about a year after the last Matrix movie...yeah, it checks out to me.

 

[DyePack]

there are these people, perhaps you've heard of them, who work at these things called newspapers and they go to movies and tell their readers if the movie sucked. you know, maybe you should look into 'em

(and i'm not talking about dog)

The truly sad thing here is that me and polo have had this discussion before, back when dude went completely ape-**** crazy over the Wedding Crashers. Dumb, an asshole and forgetful -- not a good combo there, polo.

For the record, I haven't paid to see a movie in years. And if I had a choice, I wouldn't have stuck around for more than 30 minutes of this ****ty film.

Well, now that you've gone on the record ...

I don't know a lot of what you're talking about, but I did go back and get some of the details. From what I gather, you seem to be a little off. Apparently you didn't like an innocuous comment or two, so you decided to start some bull****, and it escalated from there.

I "assumed" you had not paid to see this movie, but the response to your idiotic post was so good that I couldn't pass it up.

Basically I don't give a **** if you are the greatest movie expert on the face of the planet. To me, you're simply an ass-clenching, ultraliberal ****tard who cries out to be smacked down repeatedly. The second post here accomplished that.

 

[buckweaver]

there are these people, perhaps you've heard of them, who work at these things called newspapers and they go to movies and tell their readers if the movie sucked. you know, maybe you should look into 'em

(and i'm not talking about dog)

The truly sad thing here is that me and polo have had this discussion before, back when dude went completely ape-**** crazy over the Wedding Crashers. Dumb, an asshole and forgetful -- not a good combo there, polo.

For the record, I haven't paid to see a movie in years. And if I had a choice, I wouldn't have stuck around for more than 30 minutes of this ****ty film.

Well, now that you've gone on the record ...

I don't know a lot of what you're talking about, but I did go back and get some of the details. From what I gather, you seem to be a little off. Apparently you didn't like an innocuous comment or two, so you decided to start some bull****, and it escalated from there.

I "assumed" you had not paid to see this movie, but the response to your idiotic post was so good that I couldn't pass it up.

Basically I don't give a **** if you are the greatest movie expert on the face of the planet. To me, you're simply an ass-clenching, ultraliberal ****tard who cries out to be smacked down repeatedly. The second post here accomplished that.

Post of the day!

 

[dog428]

" It's simply unimaginable that a movie studio read this script and said, "Gold." Hell, it's unimaginable that anyone even put this **** down on paper and showed to someone else.

Speed 1 box office: 121.2 million dollars
Speed 2 box office:  48.6 million dollars

Keanu's career gross:  $1,635,699,504
Sandra's career gross: $1,114,310,175

Source: boxofficemojo.com

That's all fine, but I'm talking about the actual greenlighting of this film, which had to occur before Reeves and Bullock were issued contracts. Yeah, they could've agreed to do it, which would've made it a bit more attactive, but still, Christ, somebody felt good enough about this script to give somebody the OK to set up production.

And for the record, The Lake House makes Speed look like an Oscar winner.

 

[dog428]

there are these people, perhaps you've heard of them, who work at these things called newspapers and they go to movies and tell their readers if the movie sucked. you know, maybe you should look into 'em

(and i'm not talking about dog)

The truly sad thing here is that me and polo have had this discussion before, back when dude went completely ape-**** crazy over the Wedding Crashers. Dumb, an asshole and forgetful -- not a good combo there, polo.

For the record, I haven't paid to see a movie in years. And if I had a choice, I wouldn't have stuck around for more than 30 minutes of this ****ty film.

Well, now that you've gone on the record ...

I don't know a lot of what you're talking about, but I did go back and get some of the details. From what I gather, you seem to be a little off. Apparently you didn't like an innocuous comment or two, so you decided to start some bull****, and it escalated from there.

I "assumed" you had not paid to see this movie, but the response to your idiotic post was so good that I couldn't pass it up.

Basically I don't give a **** if you are the greatest movie expert on the face of the planet. To me, you're simply an ass-clenching, ultraliberal ****tard who cries out to be smacked down repeatedly. The second post here accomplished that.

You "assumed" huh? But yet you went ahead and posted your usual dumb ****, asshole spiel and in the process made yourself, once again, look like a dip****. Well done, dickhead.

And keep posting that you've smacked me down. Maybe if you post it enough, you'll convince yourself it's true.

 

[DyePack]

there are these people, perhaps you've heard of them, who work at these things called newspapers and they go to movies and tell their readers if the movie sucked. you know, maybe you should look into 'em

(and i'm not talking about dog)

The truly sad thing here is that me and polo have had this discussion before, back when dude went completely ape-**** crazy over the Wedding Crashers. Dumb, an asshole and forgetful -- not a good combo there, polo.

For the record, I haven't paid to see a movie in years. And if I had a choice, I wouldn't have stuck around for more than 30 minutes of this ****ty film.

Well, now that you've gone on the record ...

I don't know a lot of what you're talking about, but I did go back and get some of the details. From what I gather, you seem to be a little off. Apparently you didn't like an innocuous comment or two, so you decided to start some bull****, and it escalated from there.

I "assumed" you had not paid to see this movie, but the response to your idiotic post was so good that I couldn't pass it up.

Basically I don't give a **** if you are the greatest movie expert on the face of the planet. To me, you're simply an ass-clenching, ultraliberal ****tard who cries out to be smacked down repeatedly. The second post here accomplished that.

You "assumed" huh? But yet you went ahead and posted your usual dumb ****, asshole spiel and in the process made yourself, once again, look like a dip****. Well done, dickhead.

And keep posting that you've smacked me down. Maybe if you post it enough, you'll convince yourself it's true.

You seem to be doing a good job of making yourself the dip****.

Did you say you were reviewing it? No.

Did I say I smacked you down? No.

What I did say: The second post of the thread was simply too good to ignore. Within minutes, someone else who assumed you had paid to see the movie figuratively cut out your guts with one slash.

And it was priceless.

 

[BYH]

I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to SPEED around the city, keeping its SPEED over fifty. And if its SPEED dropped, the bus would explode! I think it was called... "The bus that couldn't slow down."

 

[dog428]

there are these people, perhaps you've heard of them, who work at these things called newspapers and they go to movies and tell their readers if the movie sucked. you know, maybe you should look into 'em

(and i'm not talking about dog)

The truly sad thing here is that me and polo have had this discussion before, back when dude went completely ape-**** crazy over the Wedding Crashers. Dumb, an asshole and forgetful -- not a good combo there, polo.

For the record, I haven't paid to see a movie in years. And if I had a choice, I wouldn't have stuck around for more than 30 minutes of this ****ty film.

Well, now that you've gone on the record ...

I don't know a lot of what you're talking about, but I did go back and get some of the details. From what I gather, you seem to be a little off. Apparently you didn't like an innocuous comment or two, so you decided to start some bull****, and it escalated from there.

I "assumed" you had not paid to see this movie, but the response to your idiotic post was so good that I couldn't pass it up.

Basically I don't give a **** if you are the greatest movie expert on the face of the planet. To me, you're simply an ass-clenching, ultraliberal ****tard who cries out to be smacked down repeatedly. The second post here accomplished that.

You "assumed" huh? But yet you went ahead and posted your usual dumb ****, asshole spiel and in the process made yourself, once again, look like a dip****. Well done, dickhead.

And keep posting that you've smacked me down. Maybe if you post it enough, you'll convince yourself it's true.

You seem to be doing a good job of making yourself the dip****.

Did you say you were reviewing it? No.

Did I say I smacked you down? No.

What I did say: The second post of the thread was simply too good to ignore. Within minutes, someone else who assumed you had paid to see the movie figuratively cut out your guts with one slash.

And it was priceless.

But you again, you "assumed" I didn't pay to see the movie because you knew from an earlier thread in which you made an ass out of yourself that I review movies. And even though you knew this, the extra large portion of your small brain that controls your asshole tendencies took over, and ignoring all of those facts, you replied with an asshole comment.

But all of that is OK, because Ifilus, who didn't know I didn't pay to see the movie made what would have been a cutting comment.

This is your idiotic argument? And you're calling someone else a dip****?

 

[DyePack]

there are these people, perhaps you've heard of them, who work at these things called newspapers and they go to movies and tell their readers if the movie sucked. you know, maybe you should look into 'em

(and i'm not talking about dog)

The truly sad thing here is that me and polo have had this discussion before, back when dude went completely ape-**** crazy over the Wedding Crashers. Dumb, an asshole and forgetful -- not a good combo there, polo.

For the record, I haven't paid to see a movie in years. And if I had a choice, I wouldn't have stuck around for more than 30 minutes of this ****ty film.

Well, now that you've gone on the record ...

I don't know a lot of what you're talking about, but I did go back and get some of the details. From what I gather, you seem to be a little off. Apparently you didn't like an innocuous comment or two, so you decided to start some bull****, and it escalated from there.

I "assumed" you had not paid to see this movie, but the response to your idiotic post was so good that I couldn't pass it up.

Basically I don't give a **** if you are the greatest movie expert on the face of the planet. To me, you're simply an ass-clenching, ultraliberal ****tard who cries out to be smacked down repeatedly. The second post here accomplished that.

You "assumed" huh? But yet you went ahead and posted your usual dumb ****, asshole spiel and in the process made yourself, once again, look like a dip****. Well done, dickhead.

And keep posting that you've smacked me down. Maybe if you post it enough, you'll convince yourself it's true.

You seem to be doing a good job of making yourself the dip****.

Did you say you were reviewing it? No.

Did I say I smacked you down? No.

What I did say: The second post of the thread was simply too good to ignore. Within minutes, someone else who assumed you had paid to see the movie figuratively cut out your guts with one slash.

And it was priceless.

But you again, you "assumed" I didn't pay to see the movie because you knew from an earlier thread in which you made an ass out of yourself that I review movies. And even though you knew this, the extra large portion of your small brain that controls your asshole tendencies took over, and ignoring all of those facts, you replied with an asshole comment.

But all of that is OK, because Ifilus, who didn't know I didn't pay to see the movie made what would have been a cutting comment.

This is your idiotic argument? And you're calling someone else a dip****?

Um, no. Your reading comprehension seems to be off.

Someone else mentioned offhand in a whole other thread that you reviewed movies. I did some of my own homework after that.

Since I didn't know if the reviewer part was common knowledge or not, I steered clear of it.

Regardless, the second comment was priceless. There's simply no escaping that, or the fact that like a real dog, you have just squeezed out a pile of **** and just keep rolling around in it.

 

[Chi City 81]

This thread is fun. I suspect it will be gone by morning.

 

[DyePack]

This thread is fun. I suspect it will be gone by morning.

I'll have to preserve the ifilus comment, though.

 

[dog428]

there are these people, perhaps you've heard of them, who work at these things called newspapers and they go to movies and tell their readers if the movie sucked. you know, maybe you should look into 'em

(and i'm not talking about dog)

The truly sad thing here is that me and polo have had this discussion before, back when dude went completely ape-**** crazy over the Wedding Crashers. Dumb, an asshole and forgetful -- not a good combo there, polo.

For the record, I haven't paid to see a movie in years. And if I had a choice, I wouldn't have stuck around for more than 30 minutes of this ****ty film.

Well, now that you've gone on the record ...

I don't know a lot of what you're talking about, but I did go back and get some of the details. From what I gather, you seem to be a little off. Apparently you didn't like an innocuous comment or two, so you decided to start some bull****, and it escalated from there.

I "assumed" you had not paid to see this movie, but the response to your idiotic post was so good that I couldn't pass it up.

Basically I don't give a **** if you are the greatest movie expert on the face of the planet. To me, you're simply an ass-clenching, ultraliberal ****tard who cries out to be smacked down repeatedly. The second post here accomplished that.

You "assumed" huh? But yet you went ahead and posted your usual dumb ****, asshole spiel and in the process made yourself, once again, look like a dip****. Well done, dickhead.

And keep posting that you've smacked me down. Maybe if you post it enough, you'll convince yourself it's true.

You seem to be doing a good job of making yourself the dip****.

Did you say you were reviewing it? No.

Did I say I smacked you down? No.

What I did say: The second post of the thread was simply too good to ignore. Within minutes, someone else who assumed you had paid to see the movie figuratively cut out your guts with one slash.

And it was priceless.

But you again, you "assumed" I didn't pay to see the movie because you knew from an earlier thread in which you made an ass out of yourself that I review movies. And even though you knew this, the extra large portion of your small brain that controls your asshole tendencies took over, and ignoring all of those facts, you replied with an asshole comment.

But all of that is OK, because Ifilus, who didn't know I didn't pay to see the movie made what would have been a cutting comment.

This is your idiotic argument? And you're calling someone else a dip****?

Um, no. Your reading comprehension seems to be off.

Someone else mentioned offhand in a whole other thread that you reviewed movies. I did some of my own homework after that.

Since I didn't know if the reviewer part was common knowledge or not, I steered clear of it.

Regardless, the second comment was priceless. There's simply no escaping that, or the fact that like a real dog, you have just squeezed out a pile of **** and just keep rolling around in it.

I apologize for continuing to post on this thread. It's late and I completely forgot that polo doesn't need any help in making himself look like an asshole.

Continue on, dip****.

 

[DyePack]

there are these people, perhaps you've heard of them, who work at these things called newspapers and they go to movies and tell their readers if the movie sucked. you know, maybe you should look into 'em

(and i'm not talking about dog)

The truly sad thing here is that me and polo have had this discussion before, back when dude went completely ape-**** crazy over the Wedding Crashers. Dumb, an asshole and forgetful -- not a good combo there, polo.

For the record, I haven't paid to see a movie in years. And if I had a choice, I wouldn't have stuck around for more than 30 minutes of this ****ty film.

Well, now that you've gone on the record ...

I don't know a lot of what you're talking about, but I did go back and get some of the details. From what I gather, you seem to be a little off. Apparently you didn't like an innocuous comment or two, so you decided to start some bull****, and it escalated from there.

I "assumed" you had not paid to see this movie, but the response to your idiotic post was so good that I couldn't pass it up.

Basically I don't give a **** if you are the greatest movie expert on the face of the planet. To me, you're simply an ass-clenching, ultraliberal ****tard who cries out to be smacked down repeatedly. The second post here accomplished that.

You "assumed" huh? But yet you went ahead and posted your usual dumb ****, asshole spiel and in the process made yourself, once again, look like a dip****. Well done, dickhead.

And keep posting that you've smacked me down. Maybe if you post it enough, you'll convince yourself it's true.

You seem to be doing a good job of making yourself the dip****.

Did you say you were reviewing it? No.

Did I say I smacked you down? No.

What I did say: The second post of the thread was simply too good to ignore. Within minutes, someone else who assumed you had paid to see the movie figuratively cut out your guts with one slash.

And it was priceless.

But you again, you "assumed" I didn't pay to see the movie because you knew from an earlier thread in which you made an ass out of yourself that I review movies. And even though you knew this, the extra large portion of your small brain that controls your asshole tendencies took over, and ignoring all of those facts, you replied with an asshole comment.

But all of that is OK, because Ifilus, who didn't know I didn't pay to see the movie made what would have been a cutting comment.

This is your idiotic argument? And you're calling someone else a dip****?

Um, no. Your reading comprehension seems to be off.

Someone else mentioned offhand in a whole other thread that you reviewed movies. I did some of my own homework after that.

Since I didn't know if the reviewer part was common knowledge or not, I steered clear of it.

Regardless, the second comment was priceless. There's simply no escaping that, or the fact that like a real dog, you have just squeezed out a pile of **** and just keep rolling around in it.

I apologize for continuing to post on this thread. It's late and I completely forgot that polo doesn't need any help in making himself look like an asshole.

Continue on, dip****.

Enjoy that sugar cookie, ass-clencher.