outofplace
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Laugh it up, fuzzball
"Star Wars" Turns 30 ...
- Thread starter Football_Bat
- Start date
Trouser_Buddah
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BYH said:
What's this rumor floating around that Lucas will announce a prequel to the prequels?
Piotr Rasputin
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- City & State/Province
- Professor Charles Xavier's School For Gifted Young
Rosie: It's actually "will somebody get this big walking carpet out of my way?"
Sportschick: It's actually "Shut down all the garbage mashers on the detention level!"
Ahem. The dude who started the Geek thread should get all six movies covered:
Luke, at that speed will we be able to pull out in time?!
It'll be just like Beggars' Canyon back home!
You must Unlearn what you have learned.
Tell that slimy piece of worm-ridden . . .filth, he'll get no such pleasure from us! . . .Right?
Don't center on your anxieties, Obi-Wan . . . keep your concentration here, and now . . where it belongs.
Always a pleasure to meet a Jedi.
You have allowed this dark lord to twist your mind until now, you have become the very thing you swore to destroy.
Sportschick: It's actually "Shut down all the garbage mashers on the detention level!"
Ahem. The dude who started the Geek thread should get all six movies covered:
Luke, at that speed will we be able to pull out in time?!
It'll be just like Beggars' Canyon back home!
You must Unlearn what you have learned.
Tell that slimy piece of worm-ridden . . .filth, he'll get no such pleasure from us! . . .Right?
Don't center on your anxieties, Obi-Wan . . . keep your concentration here, and now . . where it belongs.
Always a pleasure to meet a Jedi.
You have allowed this dark lord to twist your mind until now, you have become the very thing you swore to destroy.
sportschick
Active Member
hey, I just posted the picture. I didn't create it!
W
Write-brained
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Piotr Rasputin said:
The Geek is strong in this one. ;D
Herbert Anchovy
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You will be.
You will be.
You will be.
EStreetJoe
Well-Known Member
From a mid-90s e-mail...
Top Ten Star Wars Sexual Innuendos
10) "She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts."
9) "Curse my metal body, I wasn't fast enough!"
8) "Look at the size of that thing!"
7) "Sorry about the mess..."
6) "You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought."
5) "Aren't you a little short for a Stormtrooper?"
4) "You've got something jammed in here real good."
3) "Put that thing away before you get us all killed!"
2) "Luke, at that speed do you think you'll be able to pull out in
time?"
1) "Get in there you big furry oaf, I don't care what you smell!"
Bonus) "This little one's not worth the effort."
Top Ten Star Wars Sexual Innuendos
10) "She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts."
9) "Curse my metal body, I wasn't fast enough!"
8) "Look at the size of that thing!"
7) "Sorry about the mess..."
6) "You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought."
5) "Aren't you a little short for a Stormtrooper?"
4) "You've got something jammed in here real good."
3) "Put that thing away before you get us all killed!"
2) "Luke, at that speed do you think you'll be able to pull out in
time?"
1) "Get in there you big furry oaf, I don't care what you smell!"
Bonus) "This little one's not worth the effort."
EStreetJoe
Well-Known Member
From another 90s e-mail...
How good a Darth Vader would you make?
> > >
> > >This test will require a No. 2 lead hydrospanner and a black Scantron.
> > >Separate paper will be distributed for the essay section.
> > >
> > >Multiple Choice Section:
> > >
> > >1 What color is your cape/cloak?
> > >a) White or grey
> > >b) Mauve or fluorescent orange
> > >c) Brown or blue
> > >d) Pure black
> > >
> > >2 Describe your voice:
> > >a) A mellifluous tenor, radiating peace and light
> > >b) High and squeaky, kind of like the noise generated by hitting
> > > a mouse with a mallet (and now for something completely different!)
> > >c) Strong and commanding, with deep overtones of control and evil
> > >d) Low enough to shatter windows and gravely as a sea bed, kind
> > > of like you'd been hit in the throat by a semi when you were four
> > >
> > >3 Describe your Force skills:
> > >a) I am a Jedi, like my father before me.
> > >b) I don't have any Force skills, but I do get good cable
> > > reception.
> > >c) I have just enough Force sensitivity to say "I have a bad
> > > feeling about this" with authority.
> > >d) I can crush your puny larynx like a grape, you dweeb.
> > >
> > >4 An officer under your command informs you that, through his
> > > own incompetence, he has allowed your Rebel quarry to escape. You:
> > >a) Tell him in a kind, understanding, voice that he really should
> > > try harder.
> > >b) Give him a blender and do the dance of joy.
> > >c) Fire him and cancel his Christmas bonus.
> > >d) Kill him, then spit on his lifeless body.
> > >
> > >5 The _new_ officer under your command informs you that, through no
> > > fault of his own, the Rebel scum have escaped. You:
> > >a) Pat him on the back and say that you understand, everyone has
> > > a bad day now and then.
> > >b) Click your ruby heels together three times and say, "There's
> > > no place like Burger King, there's no place like Burger King."
> > >c) Commend him for trying and send him back to his post.
> > >d) Kill him, then kick his lifeless body.
> > >
> > >6 _His_ replacement, through no fault of his own, steps on your
> > > toe. You:
> > >a) Smile understandingly and step to the side.
> > >b) Ask him to do it again.
> > >c) Step on his toe.
> > >d) Kill him, then have his body fed to the Rancor.
> > >
> > >7 Luke Skywalker is your:
> > >a) Best friend.
> > >b) Dog.
> > >c) Feared persecutor.
> > >d) Arch-enemy. Or son. Your choice.
> > >
> > >8 Complete the following sentence:
> > > "You are part of the Rebel Alliance and a...
> > >a) ...really nice guy. I respect you, sir."
> > >b) ...chicken. Or was it lizard? I can never remember..."
> > >c) ...traitor. Take her away!"
> > >d) ...corpse. Good riddance." (this is the only one Vader
> > > missed)
> > >
> > >9 The Emperor calls you his:
> > >a) enemy
> > >b) nephew
> > >c) doormat
> > >d) right hand
> > >
> > >10 Which portion of the body do you prefer to crush and squeeze
> > > with the Force?
> > >a) None, I give loving hugs.
> > >b) the bladder
> > >c) the heart or brain
> > >d) All of them, but the trachea if I'm just practicing.
> > >
> > >Optional strategy section:
> > > Given a copy of the Mona Lisa, Dali's Persistence of Time, and
> > > a crayon drawing of mommy, daddy, and kat, how long would it take you
> > > to destroy human civilization?
> > >a) Ten years
> > >b) Twelve parsecs
> > >c) A day
> > >d) Ten minutes
> > >
> > >Optional ethics section:
> > > You are given a choice between killing a kitten and eating a
> > > Twinkie. You:
> > >a) Give them both a hug
> > >b) Kill the Twinkie
> > >c) Kill the kitten
> > >d) Kill the kitten with the Twinkie
> > >
> > >Optional xenobiology section:
> > > What alien species would you most like to exterminate?
> > >a) Hutts
> > >b) Tribbles
> > >c) Ewoks
> > >d) Non-humans
> > >
> > >Optional navigation section:
> > > You have the fastest ship in the galaxy. How fast can you do
> > > the Kessel Run?
> > >a) 12 parsecs
> > >b) 12 liters
> > >c) 12 days
> > >d) 12 Rebel corpses
> > >
> > >Optional Jedi Knight section:
> > > What is the power of this technological terror insignificant
> > > beside?
> > >a) The power of the Force.
> > >b) The power that only wet suction can muster.
> > >c) The power of _that_ technological terror.
> > >d) The power of me.
> > >
> > >Essay:
> > > You are trapped, alone, on a desert planet. What five things
> > >do you take with you, and who do you kill with them?
> > >
> > >Answers:
> > >
> > >If you answered (a majority of the time):
> > >
> > >a) You are a Rebel weenie. Get off the net, you dweeb.
> > >b) You are an idiot. I'd tell you to get off the net, too, but
> > > you wouldn't understand me.
> > >c) You have the cold-blooded ruthlessness to rise high in the
> > > Empire. Good luck!
> > >d) You are a Dark Lord of the Sith. Go kick some Rebel ass.
> >
How good a Darth Vader would you make?
> > >
> > >This test will require a No. 2 lead hydrospanner and a black Scantron.
> > >Separate paper will be distributed for the essay section.
> > >
> > >Multiple Choice Section:
> > >
> > >1 What color is your cape/cloak?
> > >a) White or grey
> > >b) Mauve or fluorescent orange
> > >c) Brown or blue
> > >d) Pure black
> > >
> > >2 Describe your voice:
> > >a) A mellifluous tenor, radiating peace and light
> > >b) High and squeaky, kind of like the noise generated by hitting
> > > a mouse with a mallet (and now for something completely different!)
> > >c) Strong and commanding, with deep overtones of control and evil
> > >d) Low enough to shatter windows and gravely as a sea bed, kind
> > > of like you'd been hit in the throat by a semi when you were four
> > >
> > >3 Describe your Force skills:
> > >a) I am a Jedi, like my father before me.
> > >b) I don't have any Force skills, but I do get good cable
> > > reception.
> > >c) I have just enough Force sensitivity to say "I have a bad
> > > feeling about this" with authority.
> > >d) I can crush your puny larynx like a grape, you dweeb.
> > >
> > >4 An officer under your command informs you that, through his
> > > own incompetence, he has allowed your Rebel quarry to escape. You:
> > >a) Tell him in a kind, understanding, voice that he really should
> > > try harder.
> > >b) Give him a blender and do the dance of joy.
> > >c) Fire him and cancel his Christmas bonus.
> > >d) Kill him, then spit on his lifeless body.
> > >
> > >5 The _new_ officer under your command informs you that, through no
> > > fault of his own, the Rebel scum have escaped. You:
> > >a) Pat him on the back and say that you understand, everyone has
> > > a bad day now and then.
> > >b) Click your ruby heels together three times and say, "There's
> > > no place like Burger King, there's no place like Burger King."
> > >c) Commend him for trying and send him back to his post.
> > >d) Kill him, then kick his lifeless body.
> > >
> > >6 _His_ replacement, through no fault of his own, steps on your
> > > toe. You:
> > >a) Smile understandingly and step to the side.
> > >b) Ask him to do it again.
> > >c) Step on his toe.
> > >d) Kill him, then have his body fed to the Rancor.
> > >
> > >7 Luke Skywalker is your:
> > >a) Best friend.
> > >b) Dog.
> > >c) Feared persecutor.
> > >d) Arch-enemy. Or son. Your choice.
> > >
> > >8 Complete the following sentence:
> > > "You are part of the Rebel Alliance and a...
> > >a) ...really nice guy. I respect you, sir."
> > >b) ...chicken. Or was it lizard? I can never remember..."
> > >c) ...traitor. Take her away!"
> > >d) ...corpse. Good riddance." (this is the only one Vader
> > > missed)
> > >
> > >9 The Emperor calls you his:
> > >a) enemy
> > >b) nephew
> > >c) doormat
> > >d) right hand
> > >
> > >10 Which portion of the body do you prefer to crush and squeeze
> > > with the Force?
> > >a) None, I give loving hugs.
> > >b) the bladder
> > >c) the heart or brain
> > >d) All of them, but the trachea if I'm just practicing.
> > >
> > >Optional strategy section:
> > > Given a copy of the Mona Lisa, Dali's Persistence of Time, and
> > > a crayon drawing of mommy, daddy, and kat, how long would it take you
> > > to destroy human civilization?
> > >a) Ten years
> > >b) Twelve parsecs
> > >c) A day
> > >d) Ten minutes
> > >
> > >Optional ethics section:
> > > You are given a choice between killing a kitten and eating a
> > > Twinkie. You:
> > >a) Give them both a hug
> > >b) Kill the Twinkie
> > >c) Kill the kitten
> > >d) Kill the kitten with the Twinkie
> > >
> > >Optional xenobiology section:
> > > What alien species would you most like to exterminate?
> > >a) Hutts
> > >b) Tribbles
> > >c) Ewoks
> > >d) Non-humans
> > >
> > >Optional navigation section:
> > > You have the fastest ship in the galaxy. How fast can you do
> > > the Kessel Run?
> > >a) 12 parsecs
> > >b) 12 liters
> > >c) 12 days
> > >d) 12 Rebel corpses
> > >
> > >Optional Jedi Knight section:
> > > What is the power of this technological terror insignificant
> > > beside?
> > >a) The power of the Force.
> > >b) The power that only wet suction can muster.
> > >c) The power of _that_ technological terror.
> > >d) The power of me.
> > >
> > >Essay:
> > > You are trapped, alone, on a desert planet. What five things
> > >do you take with you, and who do you kill with them?
> > >
> > >Answers:
> > >
> > >If you answered (a majority of the time):
> > >
> > >a) You are a Rebel weenie. Get off the net, you dweeb.
> > >b) You are an idiot. I'd tell you to get off the net, too, but
> > > you wouldn't understand me.
> > >c) You have the cold-blooded ruthlessness to rise high in the
> > > Empire. Good luck!
> > >d) You are a Dark Lord of the Sith. Go kick some Rebel ass.
> >
Double Down
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Oct 10, 2002
- Messages
- 14,349
Many bothans died to bring us this thread.
kokane_muthashed
Active Member
- Joined
- Jul 24, 2004
- Messages
- 4,395
Dr. Evazan: He doesn't like you.
Luke: I'm sorry.
Dr. Evazan: I don't like you either. You just watch yourself. We're wanted men. I have the death sentence on twelve systems.
Luke: I'll be careful.
Dr. Evazan: You'll be dead!
Luke: I'm sorry.
Dr. Evazan: I don't like you either. You just watch yourself. We're wanted men. I have the death sentence on twelve systems.
Luke: I'll be careful.
Dr. Evazan: You'll be dead!
kokane_muthashed
Active Member
- Joined
- Jul 24, 2004
- Messages
- 4,395
One of my favorite scenes from the first movie:
Governor Tarkin: You don't know how hard I found it, signing the order to terminate your life.
Princess Leia: I'm surprised that you had the courage to take the responsibility yourself.
Governor Tarkin: Princess Leia, before your execution, you will join me at a ceremony that will make this battle station operational. No star system will dare oppose the Emperor now.
Princess Leia: The more you tighten your grip, Tarkin, the more star systems will slip through your fingers.
Good dialogue, back-and-forth, especially for Lucas.
Governor Tarkin: You don't know how hard I found it, signing the order to terminate your life.
Princess Leia: I'm surprised that you had the courage to take the responsibility yourself.
Governor Tarkin: Princess Leia, before your execution, you will join me at a ceremony that will make this battle station operational. No star system will dare oppose the Emperor now.
Princess Leia: The more you tighten your grip, Tarkin, the more star systems will slip through your fingers.
Good dialogue, back-and-forth, especially for Lucas.
Dirk Legume
Well-Known Member
I am surprised it isn't there yet, so I'll toss it in:
I find your lack of faith disturbing.
Said to my wife whenever she thinks I wont get a chore done properly. She's pretty tired of it by now.
I find your lack of faith disturbing.
Said to my wife whenever she thinks I wont get a chore done properly. She's pretty tired of it by now.
M
Meat Loaf
Guest
I got free tickets from the paper to see the first midnight showing of the last movie, Episode 3.
My advice: Never walk into one of those and ask which ship is the Enterprise.
My advice: Never walk into one of those and ask which ship is the Enterprise.
Bubbler
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Aug 3, 2004
- Messages
- 26,727
Where would virgins be today if not for the Star Wars trilogy? The movie and all its ancillary progeny -- action figures, etc. -- has single-handedly kept virgins entertained for three decades now. Star Wars is the Magna Carta of virginity.
What did virgins do before Star Wars? Or Star Trek?
(I keed. I love Star Wars.)
What did virgins do before Star Wars? Or Star Trek?
(I keed. I love Star Wars.)
Bob Slydell
Active Member
- Joined
- Oct 16, 2006
- Messages
- 2,820
How old was everybody when they first saw Star Wars, the first one. And where did you see it. If you weren't around to see it the first time, I hate you!
I was five and went to see it at the old Showcase Cinemas in Louisville, Ky. Massive theater, and I can still remember the rumble that went through it when the star destroyer was chasing the Rebel ship. I was hooked right then and there. I think I saw it about four or five times that summer.
I was five and went to see it at the old Showcase Cinemas in Louisville, Ky. Massive theater, and I can still remember the rumble that went through it when the star destroyer was chasing the Rebel ship. I was hooked right then and there. I think I saw it about four or five times that summer.
Bob Slydell
Active Member
- Joined
- Oct 16, 2006
- Messages
- 2,820
BTW, G4 channel is having a love retrospective tonight at 7.
And History Channel is doing some stuff Monday. Check your local listings.
Even 30 years later, I geek out on the holy trilogy.
And History Channel is doing some stuff Monday. Check your local listings.
Even 30 years later, I geek out on the holy trilogy.
Football_Bat
Well-Known Member
I lived in a little town with a one-screen cinema that didn't get first-run movies for months. You had to drive 50 miles to the Big Smoke. So I didn't see it till the day Elvis died. I remember it was on the radio when we were in the car going to the movie.
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