I guess I'm a coach now ...

[beanpole]

Little Beansprout plays his first organized sport starting next month -- youth soccer. I mean, really youth soccer, as the kids are 3-to-5.

The league called me yesterday because our team's coach is having unexpected surgery. "Will you be the head coach?" Like an idiot, I said yes. Want to be helpful and do something for the kids, but as I told the guy, I've never coached. At any level.

I figure that my job is to help everyone have a good time and make sure everyone gets on the field about the same amount of time. But there's more to it, right? God help me if parents are freaks even for kids that age. I'd hate to blow someone's scholarship.

And I call in stats to the paper, right?

 

[kingcreole]

Teach the kids how to dribble, dribble, dribble. Forget passing. Just teach these little 'uns how to dribble.

 

[Boom_70]

You are doing God's work- teaching the great game of soccer to the youth of America.

The key to your enjoyment will be to select a really hot team mom to organize snack / drink schedule for season. 95% of the success of youth soccer is in the cuisine.

From your own standpoint try to remain inconspicuous on the sidelines. You need to walk away from season with your dignity intact. You're not coaching the World Cup. I once watched Mike Lupica run up and down the sidelines for an entire 6 year old game. I was embarrassed for him - watching his tiny legs churning.

 

[bydesign77]

There can't be anything more important to learn in soccer than ball control. However, at that age it's more magnet ball with 20 kids in a huge group moving up and down the field. So that might be tough to impart on them. If they can learn positions and to dribble you'll have done good.

And echo the hot team mom/snacks thing. Oranges at half. Little Debbie cakes and Capri Suns at the end.

 

[Batman]

Remember, teach them the fundamentals. Flopping and whining about not getting calls are vital skills, and can never be taught too early.

 

[lone star scribe]

At that age you just need to make sure all the kids get equal playing time, and alternate them from forward to defense on successive substitutions. Of course, that won't matter 30 seconds into the game when they all start chasing the ball in one big pack. But you don't want to leave your best player up front where he (or she) scores 9 goals and the other parents start complaining about it.

The snack schedule suggestion is spot on, too. The highlight of the day for most of these kids will be the juice box and goodies.

Oh, and don't forget to call the newspaper and ***** about the lack of coverage. These kids try just as hard as the high school varsity players!

 

[beanpole]

Remember, teach them the fundamentals. Flopping and whining about not getting calls are vital skills, and can never be taught too early.

Awesome. I'll teach them to flop!

 

[beanpole]

At that age you just need to make sure all the kids get equal playing time, and alternate them from forward to defense on successive substitutions. Of course, that won't matter 30 seconds into the game when they all start chasing the ball in one big pack. But you don't want to leave your best player up front where he (or she) scores 9 goals and the other parents start complaining about it.

The snack schedule suggestion is spot on, too. The highlight of the day for most of these kids will be the juice box and goodies.

Oh, and don't forget to call the newspaper and ***** about the lack of coverage. These kids try just as hard as the high school varsity players!

Am I allowed to show obvious favoritism to my own kid?

 

[beanpole]

You are doing God's work- teaching the great game of soccer to the youth of America.

The key to your enjoyment will be to select a really hot team mom to organize snack / drink schedule for season. 95% of the success of youth soccer is in the cuisine.

From your own standpoint try to remain inconspicuous on the sidelines. You need to walk away from season with your dignity intact. You're not coaching the World Cup. I once watched Mike Lupica run up and down the sidelines for an entire 6 year old game. I was embarrassed for him - watching his tiny legs churning.

Seriously, good advice. I don't want to be one of *those* guys. I just want the kids to have fun and burn off a lot of energy.

 

[bydesign77]

At that age you just need to make sure all the kids get equal playing time, and alternate them from forward to defense on successive substitutions. Of course, that won't matter 30 seconds into the game when they all start chasing the ball in one big pack. But you don't want to leave your best player up front where he (or she) scores 9 goals and the other parents start complaining about it.

The snack schedule suggestion is spot on, too. The highlight of the day for most of these kids will be the juice box and goodies.

Oh, and don't forget to call the newspaper and ***** about the lack of coverage. These kids try just as hard as the high school varsity players!

Am I allowed to show obvious favoritism to my own kid?

Of course! It's expected!

 

[ChrisRcc]

Get Ditka to help coach your team.

 

[cranberry]

You are doing God's work- teaching the great game of soccer to the youth of America.

The key to your enjoyment will be to select a really hot team mom to organize snack / drink schedule for season. 95% of the success of youth soccer is in the cuisine.

From your own standpoint try to remain inconspicuous on the sidelines. You need to walk away from season with your dignity intact. You're not coaching the World Cup. I once watched Mike Lupica run up and down the sidelines for an entire 6 year old game. I was embarrassed for him - watching his tiny legs churning.

This is really good, solid advice, especially the part about finding the right team mom then laying low. At that age, keeping the kids on the field and redirecting their attention to the ball/game is a primary objective. Don't get too whistle happy and never raise your voice in anything but praise and encouragement; anger is never called for and even frustration can be disconcerting -- you'll lose the parents and the kids. It's not about you and you need to actively demonstrate you understand that basic concept.

 

[Sir Sid]

I think the key is two things.
1. Like mentioned before, spacing. If you can figure out how to keep the little turds from not running in a pack you'll be able to write the book about youth soccer and thus make millions.
2. Maintain the profile on the sidelines that you really don't give a damn about this coaching stuff.

 

[mustangj17]

Teach them as much as you can while still allowing them to have fun.

 

[beanpole]

Thanks everyone. Some real solid advice here. I'm definitely going to have snacks for all, and hopefully we can have some enthusiastic kicking and lots of high-fives for the kids when it's time to sub out. I kind of hope an opposing coach is a stereotypical hard ass losern who tries to teach his team plays just so I have a good story to tell.

 

[D.Sanchez]

My advice for practice at this age:

1.) You'll lose their attention if you take longer than 10 seconds to explain something -- so keep it brief and simple.

2.) Every kid has a ball at their feet the entire practice. The favorite game my kids like to play is simply to kick the ball and try to hit me as I run around the field, then when I get hit I really play it up. We start almost every practice that way until all of the kids show up. The simpler the game the better. With that simple game they practice dribbling, shooting and spacing -- all in one while having fun.

3.) No standing in lines (the worst "drill" imaginable is to have the kids stand in line and take turns kicking the ball at the goal).

This site has a lot of good ideas for practice games to get you started ...

http://www.footy4kids.co.uk/

 

[MacDaddy]

Oh, and don't forget to call the newspaper and ***** about the lack of coverage. These kids try just as hard as the high school varsity players!

It's never too early for the newspaper to start costing kids scholarships.

 

[Buck]

Explain to the kids that soccer is the most popular sports in the world, and Americans who don't want to watch soccer are xenophobic at best and probably jingoistic to boot.

 

[Boom_70]

teach the kids how to play the Vuvuzela so they are prepared for when the World Cup comes to the USA in 2075.

 

[farmerjerome]

Make sure they're shooting at the right goal.