I Ain't as Good as I Once was...

[Songbird]

I fell down my stairs last night, and today, I'm hurt.
I'm not injured. Nothing is broken or torn. I'm just hurt.
I don't bounce the way I did 30 years ago.
I wasn't drunk. I wasn't doing anything stupid. I just slipped and busted my ass, and today, life sucks.
My feet flew out from under me. I hit and skidded down 3-4 steps before stopping. My entire right side from my shoulder to wrist to my rib cage to my hip to knee freakin hurts.
I haven't even told my wife I fell because I don't want to have some kind of lecture or conversation, but she has to know that something happened because I can't get up off the couch without grimacing.

3 days later … ?

 

[Driftwood]

3 days later … ?

Main point of impact is still a bit sore, but otherwise good to go. I don’t even have a bruise.

 

[BTExpress]

Wife keeps banging her knees on the stepladder at work (being 4 feet 11, she needs the ladder for just about everything). With the pads she uses to protect from that, and the arm wrap she uses for an elbow problem that some other task causes, she's more heavily outfitted than some football players.

 

[Octave]

I wish I had my 20-year-old face but I feel good every day.

 

[outofplace]

Since this is somewhat of a Getting Older Sucks thread, I'll make a plea with an example.

Before you get to the point of a problem or situation, ask for help.

Put away the ego. Don't let a fall or hospital stay or something worse create an avoidable situation. I'm having to deal with this with my father (81) and MIL (86). It sucks, and it's going to end up with a bad deal and phone call for help and we're going to have to bite our tongues (again) to not ask WTF didn't you call us or someone to help you?

A friend texted me this evening and said his mother is in ICU and father is injured after a terrible accident last weekend. They're in their late 70s and live about 3.5 hours away but have moved to be closer to my friend. Last weekend they were moving stuff and Old Dad wanted to make one more trip but Younger Son convinced them not to do it since it would be late, dangerous and they could get it another day.

Old Dad agreed but then went anyway. Fell asleep late at night, ran off the road, truck with loaded trailer rolled multiple times. Mom with Parkinsons in ICU has three broken neck vertebrae, broken clavicle and broken sternum, and internal injuries. She was airlifted to hospital. Needs surgery but is too injured. Old Dad has a brain bleed and broken nose.

My friend is understandably scared, upset and also furious as can be that his father lied and was too headstrong. And now what was just an "older parent" situation is a lot ****ing worse.

Honestly, I fear this with my father. He's the same way.

So, ask for help. Sucks, sometimes, but it's cool. Ask for help.

It isn't just a function of age. Sometimes we refuse to accept our limitations when we have an injury or other health condition that limits our capabilities.

My father was like that, especially after his terminal cancer diagnosis. He wasn't much older than I am now. He refuses to accept what every doctor told him and kept trying to do things he shouldn't do.

My wife and I agreed to move our wedding up and have it where my father lived so he could be there. It was a couple of months of crazy making it happen. One thing that helped is my father's house was huge, easily big enough for our reception. (We later had a second reception in New York, near where she grew up.) My father stood through the entire wedding, which was a terrible idea. I came across him trying to get to the car. My half brother, who was only 10, was on one side and I was on the other. He was absolutely soaked in sweat, cold to the touch, and we were carrying him. An our later, he was up and giving a speech during the reception. He kept disappearing to lay down and coming back out to participate in the event.

At one point, we realized no one knew where he was. We thought he went to lay down, but he wasn't there. Then someone mentioned that my wife's grandparents were leaving. Her grandfather was dealing with congestive heart failure, so there was no way he was going to make it down the front steps without help. Who was helping him? Yup. My stubborn jackass of a father, who was struggling all evening, was helping this weakened older man down the steps. I am still amazed the both didn't go down in a heap right there. They made it down before we got there, but we had to pretty much carry my father back up to the house.

 

[waterytart]

Sometimes the best way you can help is accept what you’re not going to be allowed to do, and be at the ready for where you can step in. It’s not how we want to handle it, but it may be the best option they give us.

 

[MisterCreosote]

That’s my worst ****ing nightmare — being helpless and dependent on someone else.

 

[dixiehack]

That’s my worst ****ing nightmare — being helpless and dependent on someone else.

My sincere wish in that circumstance is form my daughter to stick me in the cheapest home possible and not look back. I don’t want to drag my kids down and frankly I’d rather they remember me intact. Given the family history I’ve got 15-20 years left before my mind goes to pudding.

 

[BurnsWhenIPee]

One of the memories that will haunt me until my last day is visiting my grandmother in an assisted living facility, and her looking up at me through her tears and saying, "Please just let me die."

It's one reason why, when it's my time, I hope it's in one fell swoop, like my heart exploding or something, where I'm gone in the snap of a finger, nothing lingering or long-lasting, and don't leave my kids and grandchildren with memories like that.

 

[Machine Head]

I go to visit a memory care unit every day.

I put on my 'suit' and say hi to all, call them by their names, kid around with those who are still somewhat cognizant. Try to bring something positive to the unit. Let the staff know I appreciate them.

Then I go out to my car and sometimes cry, like I'm crying now.

I know I'm looking at my future, but my heart hurts for those there now.

@Driftwood take care of yourself, don't think you can spit on it and rub some dirt in and it will be fine.

 

[MisterCreosote]

My sincere wish in that circumstance is form my daughter to stick me in the cheapest home possible and not look back. I don’t want to drag my kids down and frankly I’d rather they remember me intact. Given the family history I’ve got 15-20 years left before my mind goes to pudding.

Word for word, brother.

 

[Driftwood]

I go to visit a memory care unit every day.

I put on my 'suit' and say hi to all, call them by their names, kid around with those who are still somewhat cognizant. Try to bring something positive to the unit. Let the staff know I appreciate them.

Then I go out to my car and sometimes cry, like I'm crying now.

I know I'm looking at my future, but my heart hurts for those there now.

@Driftwood take care of yourself, don't think you can spit on it and rub some dirt in and it will be fine.

Thanks, and at this point I'm fine.
God either gave me a high pain tolerance because I'm clumsy, or me being clumsy has created a high pain tolerance over 54 years.
I had sinus surgery back in January. The doctor literally looked at my nose and recoiled. "How many times have you broken your nose." "Too many to count, but it's not that I've been fighting (much). Most of it is self-inflicted."

 

[Driftwood]

Heck, the last time I broke my nose it was because I centered myself in the face with a metal fence post.
I was sprawled out, pretty addled, and bleeding like crazy calling out to my wife.
"I'm, I'm, I'm OK. I'll be OK. I think. I think I'll be OK. I'm just hurt a little. I'll be OK in a minute."

 

[qtlaw]

One day at work last year I was walking outside our building, dropped something, and reached down to pick it up. When I lifted up, I cracked my head hard against a rail above me. I work in hospitality, and a guest saw and made some jokey comment. It hurt so goddam much that I came so very close to telling him exactly how he could **** right off, Mr. High and Mighty.

I managed to walk off seeing stars and get to my desk as my ears rang. I was so mad at myself. I do that. I get mad at myself when I stub my toe or trip or whatever.

This was that times a hundred. I was lucky I wasn't bleeding like hell. But I can still see that asshole's face. I hope daily he runs into walls.

I was in the locker room after a shower a few months ago and bending over in front of my locker and BAM! hit my head on the door jam, blood somewhat and I blot it for a while with a towel. Stopped the blood and went home and showed my wife and kid, they both said "better go to the ER". I thought that wasn't needed because the blood had stopped but went.....4 staples to the head. No joke. Getting old stinks.

 

[justgladtobehere]

Head wounds bleed like a ***** at any age. Add in blood thinners for a lot of old folks.

 

[BYH 2: Electric Boogaloo]

I was in the locker room after a shower a few months ago and bending over in front of my locker and BAM! hit my head on the door jam, blood somewhat and I blot it for a while with a towel. Stopped the blood and went home and showed my wife and kid, they both said "better go to the ER". I thought that wasn't needed because the blood had stopped but went.....4 staples to the head. No joke. Getting old stinks.

Glad you're OK, that sounds painful. And I'm going to regret asking this, but why staples instead of stitches?

 

[WriteThinking]

I love the water, and swimming, but you should've seen me the other day, trying to get out of a pool that didn't have good, graduated steps out, or a ladder/step station, or even just any steps of a height/steepness that I, a short person who has lost whatever athleticism I might've ever had, could negotiate easily to step out.

I just dove right in from the pool deck. Getting in was no problem. Getting out was a whole other story.:)

Too embarrassed to ask for a helping hand for leverage, or for a pull up onto the one too-steep/too deep step (actually it was a hot tub bench), I wound up climbing around the hot-tub corner of the pool, getting on my (arthritic) knees and briefly crawling along a narrow wall of it that was perpendicular to and slightly lower than the outer wall of the pool, finally getting my feet under me enough to climb out and practically falling onto a lounge chair that happened to be on the deck just alongside the edge.

Note to people with pools: Always have shallow, negotiable steps and/or a step/ladder-frame station located somewhere in/around your pool. Not everyone is strong/athletic enough to heave/lift themselves out without leverage/support, and you won't always be, either. And it's not even safe not to have such construction.

 

[Gym Beam]

Glad you're OK, that sounds painful. And I'm going to regret asking this, but why staples instead of stitches?

Sorry for the gruesomeness, but these head wound staples were not too bad, just felt weird. F*&% cancer, BTW.

 

[qtlaw]

Glad you're OK, that sounds painful. And I'm going to regret asking this, but why staples instead of stitches?

Covers more ground, stronger, faster and ……painless.

 

[Brooklyn Bridge]

I had staples when I had my appendix out a few years ago. Funny thing about that whole situation, I don't remember any of it. They say you're usually in pain with appendicitis. But, I passed out, hit my head on the counter and woke up in the hospital. Felt weak after the surgery, but don't really remember anything else.