Cracking the New York code

[Moderator1]

OK, those in NY or more familiar than yours truly: Help me with that code for cross streets. I had it somewhere, can't find it.
366 Fifth Avenue. There's some easy way to tell, isn't there?

 

[jgmacg]

Try these, my friend:

http://www.ny.com/locator/

http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9C07E6DC1530F933A0575BC0A9679C8B63

 

[The Big Ragu]

Not really, Moddy. You take the building number and divide by 20. Then you add or subtract a number depending on the avenue. For example, 6th Avenue is (building number/20)-12). 8th Avenue is ((building number/20)+9).

You happened to pick 5th Avenue, which is the only Avenue it doesn't work for. The number you add after dividing the building number by 20 differs, depending on how far uptown you get. I'm not kidding. It's:

63-108 +11
109-200 +13
201-400 +16
401-600 +18
601-775 +20
For 776-1286, divide by 10 (instead of 20) and then subtract 18

So for 366 5th Ave., it is ((366/20)+16), which is 34.3, or 34th Street.

 

[Moderator1]

Lord. That's way too complicated for me. I knew it was in the lower 30s, was just wondering if there was an easier way!

 

[jgmacg]

This is the reason I never leave the house.

 

[Fenian_Bastard]

This is the reason I never leave the house.

Where do you live and how can I get there from here?

 

[The Big Ragu]

This is the reason I never leave the house.

Well, that and the fact that everyone comes to you to kiss the ring.

 

[jgmacg]

This is the reason I never leave the house.

Where do you live and how can I get there from here?

We're the last building on the right. High up. But not too high. Look for the helipad. It's next to the solarium. (Just don't confuse it with the greenhouse, which is on level 9 - adjacent to the observatory. The orchidarium on 8 belongs to the neighbors. They are Lichtensteiners who sing beautifully but are drunkards.) Our hydrofoil is parked out front. Tell your rickshaw man to take you to the Teahouse of Russet Potatoes. The password is "dreadnought." We'll expect you around six. Bring a covered dish.

This is the reason I never leave the house.

Well, that and the fact that everyone comes to you to kiss the ring.

Mostly they just bring the take-out. But our pizza guy has tried to grab me a couple times.

 

[Fenian_Bastard]

Can I just sit on the stoop?

 

[jgmacg]

Of course.

Our stoop may actually around the corner, though. We're part of the new citywide "Shared Stoop Initiative," whereby New Yorkers make the best of our ever-diminishing stoop resource by moving our stoops from building to building. This occurs on the same rotation as Alternate Side of the Street Parking. So - depending on the day, date and time - take the M15 bus north for as long as it takes you to sing the "Wilkommen" song from Cabaret. Multiply that number by 27. Now subtract 158. Get off the bus. Spin, spin, spin. Ask the man in the orange jumpsuit for a paper transfer. He will laugh and laugh. Now walk north. 200 paces. Go back one. Add three. Take the 6 Train. Detrain at any stop. Entrain the N Train. Count 57. Jump down. Turn around. We have no bales of cotton, sadly. But hay we have by the hundredweight. So pick a bale. In fact, pick two. Close your eyes. Click your heels three times. Whisper "I think I can, I think I can." Now divide by 6. Open your eyes wide. The stoop should be just to your left.

We'll leave the key to human understanding beneath the cast iron amphora in which the singing Lichtensteiners grow their heirloom tomatoes.

Can't wait!

 

[Moderator1]

Hey, does that joint that makes cold chocolate in the summer heat it up in the winter? I subtracted 27 but couldn't figure it out.

 

[jgmacg]

Yes they do. Hot, hot, hot. And ask them to float a handmade marshmallow in there, too. Do not do the math on the calories. Do not.

 

[Dickens Cider]

This thread is brilliant.

 

[PopeDirkBenedict]

I read this thread and then I look at my walls to make sure I'm not tripping on acid.

 

[Moderator1]

Yes they do. Hot, hot, hot. And ask them to float a handmade marshmallow in there, too. Do not do the math on the calories. Do not.

I'll just subtract 183

 

[imjustagirl]

Of course.

Our stoop may actually around the corner, though. We're part of the new citywide "Shared Stoop Initiative," whereby New Yorkers make the best of our ever-diminishing stoop resource by moving our stoops from building to building. This occurs on the same rotation as Alternate Side of the Street Parking. So - depending on the day, date and time - take the M15 bus north for as long as it takes you to sing the "Wilkommen" song from Cabaret. Multiply that number by 27. Now subtract 158. Get off the bus. Spin, spin, spin. Ask the man in the orange jumpsuit for a paper transfer. He will laugh and laugh. Now walk north. 200 paces. Go back one. Add three. Take the 6 Train. Detrain at any stop. Entrain the N Train. Count 57. Jump down. Turn around. We have no bales of cotton, sadly. But hay we have by the hundredweight. So pick a bale. In fact, pick two. Close your eyes. Click your heels three times. Whisper "I think I can, I think I can." Now divide by 6. Open your eyes wide. The stoop should be just to your left.

We'll leave the key to human understanding beneath the cast iron amphora in which the singing Lichtensteiners grow their heirloom tomatoes.

Can't wait!

My Christmas wish: be like jgmacg.

 

[Moderator1]

I just figured it out based on another one of those formulas. If I add a second marshmallow, I can add 100, multply by 3 and subtract 5,280. That leaves it with negative calories, which means it is good for you. So I'll have two.
Sweet.

 

[shotglass]

Of course.

Our stoop may actually around the corner, though. We're part of the new citywide "Shared Stoop Initiative," whereby New Yorkers make the best of our ever-diminishing stoop resource by moving our stoops from building to building. This occurs on the same rotation as Alternate Side of the Street Parking. So - depending on the day, date and time - take the M15 bus north for as long as it takes you to sing the "Wilkommen" song from Cabaret. Multiply that number by 27. Now subtract 158. Get off the bus. Spin, spin, spin. Ask the man in the orange jumpsuit for a paper transfer. He will laugh and laugh. Now walk north. 200 paces. Go back one. Add three. Take the 6 Train. Detrain at any stop. Entrain the N Train. Count 57. Jump down. Turn around. We have no bales of cotton, sadly. But hay we have by the hundredweight. So pick a bale. In fact, pick two. Close your eyes. Click your heels three times. Whisper "I think I can, I think I can." Now divide by 6. Open your eyes wide. The stoop should be just to your left.

We'll leave the key to human understanding beneath the cast iron amphora in which the singing Lichtensteiners grow their heirloom tomatoes.

Can't wait!

My Christmas wish: be like jgmacg.

Simple brilliance.

Well, maybe not so simple. Just brilliance.

 

[The Big Ragu]

Now I have a few questions about that stoop initiative that works on the alternate side rotation. Do they tow your stoop when you screw up, and if so, how much do they hold it hostage for? I'm also curious about what it's like when you go out to sit on your stoop and you get that panicked feeling of, "Oh ****, my stoop isn't here! Did someone steal it, or was I supposed to move it?" On a side note, I really thought alternate side rules were suspended for 'Jainist Digambaras Day'. I also thought nudity rules were suspended on that day, and boy did that lead to some serious hijinx. Oh, and if you dial 311, will Mike Bloomberg personally answer your call and tell you within 30 seconds where you stoop has been towed to, or do you get routed through every city agency before giving up and heading cross town to take out your frustrations on frightened tourists who can't cross Fifth Avenue because of the Puerto Rican Day parade? And what are the chances that any of those tourists can tell you the cross street for 366 Fifth Avenue without toting around a mainframe computer?

 

[slappy4428]

Hey, does that joint that makes cold chocolate in the summer heat it up in the winter? I subtracted 27 but couldn't figure it out.

Hell, even I figured it out.