Correct anger

[UNCGrad]

Just creating a space for anyone who needs to let a little something out.

For instance, I was stupid today.

But correct.

I had parked my car at a restaurant where there were three open spaces to my left, and the curb to my right.

I walk out after the meal (and fortunately without my wife, who was running to the restroom and I would pick her up).

I walk to my car, and there is a giant bull**** SUV parked on the line right next to me.

The spaces to its left? Two of them were still open, meaning he didn't have to park right next to me.

The couple is sitting in the car waiting for god knows what. So I slink in and slam my door hard.

Hard enough to hear. Hard enough for the woman in the passenger seat to look over at me.

And I glared at her and her husband and threw my hands up in the air.

I slowly - very ****ng slowly - inched back and out, but carefully making sure I stayed close to them.

I was so ****ing mad, and I'm glad they got to see it.*

(*Also glad he didn't get out with a gun and shoot me, but whatever.)

So, let's hear your Correct Anger stories. Let it out.

 

[OscarMadison]

Sometimes it's something that in the grand scheme of things is galling because if you think about it, this is someone acting out because they are so impotent they have to make a ripple in someone else's life. They need to make you notice them, to feel something.

This week, I vented about a situation that was bad and yet I kept trying to polish the turd. It was something I'd tamped down and pushed to the back of my mind for a long time. At the time I wrote about in misdirected and often oblique terms to preserve feelings and save myself professionally. My memories of the hurt surfaced again when I had to tell people I like and respect that however well-intentioned their proposal to go back to that situation was, for my well-being, I had to say no and why.

I was told that I was "letting the bastards win." Sometimes it's not about winning or even getting vindication or the last word. Sometimes it's knowing that nobody learned a thing. Sometimes it is simply setting the chairs upright and exiting the room.

Too late for this to be short. I'll write this: Recognize you're mad and what made you mad. Speak your mind if you have to. Just remember to be able to walk away. They don't deserve the space they want to take up in your head and heart. Moreover, they don't even appreciate it.

 

[BYH 2: Electric Boogaloo]

I had a very similar tale a few weeks ago at an arena.

I parked in a pretty crowded lot with a spot open to my left and made the mistake of sending a text instead of getting out and heading into the arena. Couple minutes later, an asshole in a giant truck backs in super close to me. This guy just checked off all the boxes. Giant truck. Backing in. Bunch of MAGA clod bumper stickers, as I'd see later.

So he squeezes out and I glare at him. He sees me glaring and says "Got a problem?"

I roll down the window. "Parked a little close, no?"

He shrugs and walks off. I squeezed out and said something like "Nice ****ing parking job" and he yells back "Get your window fixed, *****." (I'd had a bizarre thing a week or so earlier where the window unrolled in five-degree temperatures and wouldn't roll all the way up, so I had a black trash bag duct taped over the window...sorta funny line by him in retrospect)

I yelled ***** back at him. He kept walking. Probably a good thing. Pretty sure he was w/his Dad who was probably like stop being an asshole. Then again, these days, you never know. I sat there for a couple minutes, unsure what to do. What I REALLY wanted to do was slam my 2009 car doors into his door, over and over again, b/c I don't give a **** about beating up my car. I also didn't want to just leave the car there, b/c he'd be out a few hours and many beers later and goodness knows what he might have done to the car or if he'd wait for me to get out.

So finally, feeling like the p-word, I drove over to another spot. It definitely made getting out of the car easier, but I felt like I'd let the asshole win. But it's 2026. Can't risk a fight with MAGA clods b/c they're emboldened.

I walked by the car and took a couple pics, thinking maybe I'd try and look up his plates and drive by and, I don;'t know, throw a bag of **** at his house. But of course I thought better of it. Also the pics were super blurry.

But this shook me up for a while. Just a glimpse of where we are as a society, with the ****ing piece of **** MAGA assholes running the show.

 

[SixToe]

Next-spot parkers in a lot with other open spaces infuriate me. Literally multiple other places and you have to park right next to me? MFers.

 

[Songbird]

It helps to recognize and flip the bad vibes in the first 17 seconds.

 

[FileNotFound]

Next-spot parkers in a lot with other open spaces infuriate me. Literally multiple other places and you have to park right next to me? MFers.

These are the same guys who use the urinal right next to you when there are five others available.

 

[Flip Wilson]

These are the same guys who use the urinal right next to you when there are five others available.

 

[Flip Wilson]

Next-spot parkers in a lot with other open spaces infuriate me. Literally multiple other places and you have to park right next to me? MFers.

On the Sunday mornings that my son plays in the worship band, we get to church super early. He goes to practice and I sit on the back pew and read. I don’t like any of our Sunday school classes, so I get in a lot of quiet time.

A couple of Sundays ago, I was the only person seated in the entire church - which will hold probably 300 people - and someone got there early for big church and sat directly in front of me.

 

[SixToe]

I’d have asked why. Of all that seating, why right there.

So infuriating

 

[rtse11]

Even something as simple as walking on the correct side of the hallway or stairs. I was at a public event yesterday and the number of times I had to stop while someone walked through my personal space or suddenly stopped in front of me was incredible.

 

[SixToe]

Honestly, I think something broke in 2020-21.

IMO people have gotten worse about things like the parking, wandering on sidewalks, stepping next to you at the urinal when six others are available, etc.

The worst is the driving. I’m not a Nervous Nellie on the road, but some people shouldn’t have a license. Just the dumbest, wreckless and head-scratching decisions by some people make me want to PIT them into a ditch.

It’s gotten worse in the last five years.

 

[OscarMadison]

I'm not diminishing your feelings. This sense of where our personal space begins and ends and how it may or may not be defined by mores is interesting and confusing. Generally speaking, the ways this can be perceived based on the sex of the plaintiff side of this is as telling as the person intruding on their space.

For me, as is true for a lot of women, the boundary stops at being touched or directly addressed. The arenas for this can be very different as well. One instance when I had to ask some questions took place a while back. (I've been accused of having my Cherokee great-grandmother's sense of time, so this is the best I have to offer.) A woman behind me in a checkout line started pushing her cart closer and closer and finally started pushing it into my side. Hard. I turned and saw she was looking right at me while she did this. Without saying a word, I pushed her cart back toward her but not into her and continued to conduct my business. The cart pusher was white. I am by all appearances white. When I pushed the cart back, the woman behind her, who was African-American, said, "Good! Somebody was trying to be a big house ******!" When the woman turned around, she said, "Yeah. I'm talking about you!"

What's interesting about this incident is I had a brief conversation about bread and peaches around the person directly behind me with the woman who called her out. While we talked, cart pusher stood there with a thousand mile stare. When I got home, I realized I had engaged in a form of gendered aggression: shunning. What I should have done was include the cart pusher.

It brought up same interesting questions: Would she have done the same thing if I had been a man? What if I was a person of color? I wonder if some of these incidents are aggressive intrusions or do they speak of something else going on? Am I misunderstanding that most of the experiences on this thread are male on male interactions?

 

[SixToe]

Interesting. I’ve never thought about the gendered aspect.

Also, good on you for pushing her cart. That’s some BS to hit someone with one in line. Geez.

 

[BYH 2: Electric Boogaloo]

Honestly, I think something broke in 2020-21.

IMO people have gotten worse about things like the parking, wandering on sidewalks, stepping next to you at the urinal when six others are available, etc.

The worst is the driving. I’m not a Nervous Nellie on the road, but some people shouldn’t have a license. Just the dumbest, wreckless and head-scratching decisions by some people make me want to PIT them into a ditch.

It’s gotten worse in the last five years.

Sort of related...I just picked my daughter up from a recital rehearsal. The studio spills out into the back of a downtown parking lot where you're charged for parking after 5 PM every night except Sunday, so people just line up in front of the studio. Drives me crazy and I always try to circle in from the back, park in an actual spot at the far end of the lot w/the car still running and text my daughter my location.

Well, today is Sunday, so I figured it'd be much easier to get a spot after driving up in front of the studio. Except somehow, the line was MUCH worse than ever, to the point where the traffic to get into the lot snaked back to just after a traffic light at Main Street. Tons of slammed brakes and honked horns. I ended up turning around and going in thru the back ('sup boots)...and then picking my daughter up in front b/c she'd misunderstood my directions and the traffic had eased. I guess the lot being jammed shouldn't be a surprise b./c it's Sunday and people were doing brunch at some of the restaurants that use the lot, but still. Just ****ing park your car and don;t spill out on to Main Street.

 

[BitterYoungMatador2]

Just creating a space for anyone who needs to let a little something out.

For instance, I was stupid today.

But correct.

I had parked my car at a restaurant where there were three open spaces to my left, and the curb to my right.

I walk out after the meal (and fortunately without my wife, who was running to the restroom and I would pick her up).

I walk to my car, and there is a giant bull**** SUV parked on the line right next to me.

The spaces to its left? Two of them were still open, meaning he didn't have to park right next to me.

The couple is sitting in the car waiting for god knows what. So I slink in and slam my door hard.

Hard enough to hear. Hard enough for the woman in the passenger seat to look over at me.

And I glared at her and her husband and threw my hands up in the air.

I slowly - very ****ng slowly - inched back and out, but carefully making sure I stayed close to them.

I was so ****ing mad, and I'm glad they got to see it.*

(*Also glad he didn't get out with a gun and shoot me, but whatever.)

So, let's hear your Correct Anger stories. Let it out.

A similar thing happened to me all the way back in 1998.

Parked my power blue Lincoln Continental in a parking lot with a space to my left and came out to a Chevy suburban parked within four inches of my drivers side. My car had a bench seat with leather interior so I easily could have slid across and left but pissed off 22-year-old me wasn’t having it. I waited and a smaller 40-something woman came up.

“You parked kind of close to my car,” I said.

“That car wasn’t here when I pulled in,” she replied.

“Oh yeah? Then how did I get out,” I asked.

The gears started moving then and she realized that, yeah, that makes sense and ultimately apologized. 30 years later, we have way too many more of these monstrosities rolling around being driven by people too small for them.

 

[SixToe]

All this goes back to preschool and kindergarten, being told to line up, pick a buddy, stand next to someone, get next to someone, don't be alone, always have a buddy, etc. And, prior to that, the military (same thing, LINE UP MAGGOTS!) and some ingrained or DNA-fueled need to be near someone and not be out of place or you'll have chaos.

 

[2muchcoffeeman]

A similar thing happened to me all the way back in 1998.

Parked my power blue Lincoln Continental in a parking lot with a space to my left and came out to a Chevy suburban parked within four inches of my drivers side. My car had a bench seat with leather interior so I easily could have slid across and left but pissed off 22-year-old me wasn’t having it. I waited and a smaller 40-something woman came up.

“You parked kind of close to my car,” I said.

“That car wasn’t here when I pulled in,” she replied.

“Oh yeah? Then how did I get out,” I asked.

The gears started moving then and she realized that, yeah, that makes sense and ultimately apologized. 30 years later, we have way too many more of these monstrosities rolling around being driven by people too small for them.

I know someone who was royally pissed off at some woman who parked so close to his truck that he couldn’t open the driver’s door … and had his horse trailer connected … with his horses in it … and yes, the equine post-processed by-product he left on her windshield was very fresh.

 

[BYH 2: Electric Boogaloo]

All this goes back to preschool and kindergarten, being told to line up, pick a buddy, stand next to someone, get next to someone, don't be alone, always have a buddy, etc. And, prior to that, the military (same thing, LINE UP MAGGOTS!) and some ingrained or DNA-fueled need to be near someone and not be out of place or you'll have chaos.

Why did that stick with everyone and not the be nice to everyone lessons we were taught from pre-K thru third grade?

 

[DanOregon]

I definitely think COVID plus the internet diminished people's abilities to coexist in public with strangers. I still get irritated by people talking on the phone in speaker.

 

[Webster]

I have taken the bus into NYC in the mornings for the past 11 years. Since Covid, the number of people who sit in the outside seat with the aisle seat empty or place a bag on the empty seat next to them has exploded. Antisocial behavior has become the norm.