Confessions of a parenting failure

[Idaho]

Got the e-mail from Verizon late last night letting my know it was time to pay my bill.

The amount was higher than I've ever seen it and wondered if the store I just picked up my new Droid 2 double charged me or something like that.

Nope. It was the teenager.

While we have unlimited texts (any parent of a teen who doesn't is a fool) I was still alarmed to see she sent/received 3,723 text messages last month. No damage done there, at least not to the wallet. The problem was her 710 minutes of overage charges racked up calling her 'boyfriend' and numerous other people not in the friends and family network. She also had about 1100 minutes of free 'off-peak' calls during the month including one 310 minute call that lasted from 12:05 a.m. to 5:15 a.m.

Guess who no longer has a cell phone.

 

[Boom_70]

Maybe she was talking to Tony Parker / Cross thread.

 

[Ace]

Idaho,

You took the phone away cold turkey? I think your daughter is going to have some serious withdrawal symptoms.

 

[shockey]

bravo. perfect way to get the message through and give her what i'm sure is a painful lesson in accountability...

for how long will you withhold cell-phone privileges? a month? any longer might seem harsh, as long as you're convinced the lesson has been learned. it will take only one bill to find out, right?

she abuses the privilege again, she must be stripped of the cell until she can pay her part of the bill herself. worked for us and the three little shockeys, anyway, after a humongous bill a couple of years back...

for this first offense i'd say a month is harsh enough. you must be careful of the modern reality that to keep a cell phone out of our kids' hands punishes the parents almost as much as the child, but the lesson must be made and learned...

 

[Captain_Kirk]

A five hour call in the middle of the night--I had to laugh at that. Which having teenagers myself, I think I'm allowed to do.

 

[ucacm]

This happened with my uncle/cousin once. IIRC, this was before cell phones, so my cousin had racked up a big long distance phone bill. Uncle disconnected the long distance at home as a result. Cousin stole his credit card and bought several thousand dollars worth of those pre-paid phone cards.

 

[21]

It's not love until you've fallen asleep on a late night phone call when no one wants to be the one to hang up.

 

[Mizzougrad96]

I wonder if they have phones where you can only text.

 

[JC]

If this is your worst parenting failure, you've done alright.

 

[Oggiedoggie]

When does she have time to eat?

 

[shockey]

It's not love until you've fallen asleep on a late night phone call when no one wants to be the one to hang up.

"you hang up first."

"no, you hang up first."

"nooo! you hang up first!"

"i hung up first last time."

"okay, let's hang up together on three."

"um, okay. one... two... three!"

"i'm still here."

"so am i! you're soooo funny..."

ah, those were the days...

 

[Baron Scicluna]

Great that you took the phone away, but what will she do during class?

 

[Machine Head]

Idaho went with the nucklar option? Brave man. I would have made her time a few swim meets as penance.

One of the teenagers in my house fired up a Twitter account about 60 days ago. All the rage in school, seems like they all have one. Funny, some of them haven't figured out that anyone can read their tweets.

Idaho, we need to know more about this 'boyfriend'. Do you and the Doctor approve of him?

 

[Small Town Guy]

It's not love until you've fallen asleep on a late night phone call when no one wants to be the one to hang up.

When I was in Minnesota and my future wife was in NYC, she racked up a few months of $800 cell phone bills. Her employer paid her cell phone bills. After the first big bill he asked her to watch it. After the second, he said, now, really watch it. After the third he said she had to pay it. It's the only time he ever stood up to her but even she acknowledged she'd pushed it a bit far.

 

[Mizzougrad96]

Doesn't sprint have unlimited text, talk and data for $70?

 

[SoCalScribe]

Ah, I agree, if this is the worst thing she's done you're doing just fine as a dad. Look at it this way, if she's on the phone all night, that's far from the worst alternative. I'd tell her that you'd rather she be on the phone than sneaking out of the house, etc., but that she needs to understand how her cell plan works and sign up for a netphone or something if that's what it takes to achieve cell-plan compliance.

Plus, remember how you were when you were a teenager...you probably could've gotten your ass kicked by someone's dad (or your own dad) a bunch of times. Doesn't mean you or the girls were bad kids. Just means that most teens will test and occasionally exceed the limits, but they'll learn from it.

I would give the phone back after a month and make sure your network is up-to-date with her personal life. And, of course, tell her boyfriend you'll kill him if he X, Y or Z.

 

[Mizzougrad96]

I'm curious, because my kids are too young and I haven't had to deal with this yet, but is there anything positive that can come from teenagers having cameras on their private phones and laptops?

 

[Idaho]

Idaho,

You took the phone away cold turkey? I think your daughter is going to have some serious withdrawal symptoms.

Cold turkey. Thankfully mom is the one who played Bad Cop this morning and told her about the bill that was $400 more than usual. She just held her hand out and the phone is was placed in it. This wasn't a first offense ... it might be the last. Still determining what conditions might have to be met before she gets the phone back.

If this is your worst parenting failure, you've done alright.

I wish it was the worst.A $400 phone bill is tough to swallow. There are other failures on my part that I usually don't discuss publicly. But massive phone bills aren't that groundbreaking so I decided to vent here a little bit. She's a bright, very good girl with a wonderfully kind and giving heart, but has a couple of character flaws that give her mom and dad many sleepless night.

When does she have time to eat?

Usually about 30 minutes before it's time for the family meal.

 

[Hank_Scorpio]

Maybe she'll have time to clean her room now, eh, Taters.

 

[Flying Headbutt]

Boom's line at the top was great. Had to give props for that one.

Idaho, we need to know more about this 'boyfriend'. Do you and the Doctor approve of him?

How many wives does he have already?

I'm curious, because my kids are too young and I haven't had to deal with this yet, but is there anything positive that can come from teenagers having cameras on their private phones and laptops?

I'm sure there's a reason even Brett Favre won't let Mark Chmura borrow his phone.