All Seinfeld, all the time

[Uncle.Ruckus]

Oh, pardon me, Santos, if that is your real name, Bart Simpson.

 

[sgreenwell]

Awesome part about The Simpsons DVDs, if you're a nerd like me - Commentaries for every single episode. Some of the better episodes, like the ones that won Emmys, I think they have two commentary tracks. Futurama is the same way.

 

[Buck]

Well, let me tell you something, funny boy. Y'know that little stamp, the one that says "New York Public Library"? Well that may not mean anything to you, but that means a lot to me. One whole hell of a lot. Sure, go ahead, laugh if you want to. I've seen your type before: Flashy, making the scene, flaunting convention. Yeah, I know what you're thinking. What's this guy making such a big stink about old library books? Well, let me give you a hint, junior. Maybe we can live without libraries, people like you and me. Maybe. Sure, we're too old to change the world, but what about that kid, sitting down, opening a book, right now, in a branch at the local library and finding drawings of pee-pees and wee-wees on the Cat in the Hat and the Five Chinese Brothers? Doesn't HE deserve better? Look. If you think this is about overdue fines and missing books, you'd better think again. This is about that kid's right to read a book without getting his mind warped! Or: maybe that turns you on, Seinfeld; maybe that's how y'get your kicks. You and your good-time buddies. Well I got a flash for ya, joy-boy: Party time is over. Y'got seven days, Seinfeld. That is one week!

 

[Uncle.Ruckus]

Joe Banks, 82 years young, has come to this pond every day for the past 17 years, to feed the ducks. But last month, Joe made a discovery ... the ducks ... were gone. Some say the ducks went to Canada, others say Toronto. And some people think that Joe used to sit down there, near those ducks. But it could be, that there is just no room in this modern world, for an old man ... and his ducks.

 

[Versatile]

I mean, what are you thinking about, Jerry, marriage? Family? They're prisons! Man-made prisons. You're doing time. You get up in the morning, she's there. You go to sleep at night, she's there. It's like you gotta ask permission to use the bathroom. 'Is it alright if I use the bathroom now?!' And you can forget about watching TV while you're eating.

 

[Songbird]

The Good Samaritan is on right now. Interesting that the finale was written around the Good Samaritan Law.

 

[Uncle.Ruckus]

The Aurora Borealis? At this time of year? At this time of day? In this part of the country? Localized entirely within your kitchen?

 

[dreunc1542]

The Good Samaritan is on right now. Interesting that the finale was written around the Good Samaritan Law.

The Good Samaritan is Jesus' most racist parable!

 

[Songbird]

That was pretty funny. The use of "tosser" was perfect.

 

[Buck]

I can't carry a pen. I'm afraid I'll puncture my scrotum.

 

[Hank_Scorpio]

I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!

Less than 24 hours into your attempted threadjack, and you're already repeating lines.

I think we know who the winner is here.

A winner only in your rigged voting contest years ago.

 

[Hank_Scorpio]

Talking out of turn…that’s a paddling. Looking out the window…that’s a paddling. Staring at my sandals…that’s a paddling. Paddling the school canoe…ooh, you better believe that’s a paddling.

 

[Jake_Taylor]

I loved the Simpsons back in the day, but have any of the quotes posted here been from the second half of the series run?

 

[Uncle.Ruckus]

We can't bust heads like we used to. But we have our ways. One trick is to tell stories that don't go anywhere. Like the time I caught the ferry to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for m'shoe. So I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. Gimme five bees for a quarter, you'd say. Now where was I ... oh, yeah. The important thing was that I had an onion tied to my belt, which was the style at the time. You couldn't get white onions, because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones ...

 

[Sic semper tyrannis]

Little things that are very funny: The limo starts going again after the flat tire and George starts whistling If I Were A Rich Man without realizing it and Jerry has to slap him on the arm a few times. That's when the Aryan dude starts looking at him with hook eyes and says "You don't look like an O'Brien."

Best line in this episode is when Aryan says Jerry's Irish accent sounds more Scottish. "We were right on the border."

 

[Cosmo]

The peat. Ah, the peat.

 

[Versatile]

I don't trust the guy. I think he re-gifted, then he de-gifted, and now he's using an upstairs invite as a springboard to a Super Bowl sex romp.

 

[Buck]

Astroturf? You know who's responsible for that, don't you?! The Jews!

 

[Songbird]

"We're going to have to quone this patient."

 

[Songbird]

So is it all over between you and Marsha Mason?