Worst lede ever

[Stupid]

From an outdoors writer:

I think that the first time I actually met (John Smith) was on a day I accidentally ran over his dog. The dog darted out of the bushes and was crossing the road headed home, and I hit it and killed it graveyard dead.

That bit of nonsense just sold me on the ledge. I'll never forget ''graveyard dead" now.

 

[FishHack76]

When Michael Kahn was busy fleeing Iran in the late '70s with his name attached to a death list, writing a fictional suspense novel was probably the last thing on his mind.

No ****! You think?

 

[sporting_guista]

In a wicked good game ...

 

[blackmuddyriver]

One of the oldtimers at a paper out west had quite the literary flair, sort of like the dialogue on Deadwood at times. The guy covered the Pacific Coast League team now and again; at the start of the season when he looked toward the unfolding hopes, he would write the team wanted to:
annex the PCL gonfalon

When he wrote about the error-prone shortstop and second baseman, he referred to:
the most porous portion of the inner cordon.

Still haven't been able to scrub them from the memory banks

 

[User 1019]

It wasn't in a lede, but a stringer recently referred to a "true freshman" in high school.

 

[Lester Bangs]

One of the oldtimers at a paper out west had quite the literary flair, sort of like the dialogue on Deadwood at times. The guy covered the Pacific Coast League team now and again; at the start of the season when he looked toward the unfolding hopes, he would write the team wanted to:
annex the PCL gonfalon

When he wrote about the error-prone shortstop and second baseman, he referred to:
the most porous portion of the inner cordon.

Still haven't been able to scrub them from the memory banks

Was that Harry Missildine?

 

[Beer_Baron]

Doesn't compare to the gems on this thread, but here's the worst I ever saw... courtesy of my former boss, who thought he was God's gift to sportswriting.

He was writing some analysis piece about how Big State U was so successful in one- or two-run games.

"Close has led to frequent cigars for the State U baseball team."

 

[Jones]

Back when I was a young and impressionable intern, trying to learn how to write, I was working on a feature about athletes and rape (you know, for the kids), and I was struggling to come up with a lede that was both snappy and solemn.

We had a writing coach to take care of us, so I leaned on him here. He read my story, nodded, thoughtfully rubbed his chin, jumped his chair closer to the desk, and wiggled his fingers in the air, like a master pianist about to bust into his concerto.

"Say it ain't so, Joe," he wrote.

Never leaned on him much after that.

 

[Double J]

You don't think he captured the spirit of the thing?

 

[Double J]

So, here's a lead that never fails to make me shake my head every time I see it. And I see it used a lot.

"Alexandre Kapran died doing what he loved."

That's from today's Toronto Sun, and it's from a story about a guy who drowned while on a fishing trip.

The point was that the guy loved the outdoors, but all I can picture is the guy thrashing around in the water, gasping for air, accidentally gulping down sludgy water, and thinking to himself, "****, I just love doing this!"

 

[blackmuddyriver]

It wasn't Harry Missildine, but yeah, it does sound a little like him.
Let us not forget, for all his foibles, Harry gave the world The Big Sky Conference and he named Dee Andros The Great Pumpkin

 

[Lester Bangs]

It wasn't Harry Missildine, but yeah, it does sound a little like him.
Let us not forget, for all his foibles, Harry gave the world The Big Sky Conference and he named Dee Andros The Great Pumpkin

God bless The Missil. Went to his funeral earlier this year. That guy lived the hell out of his life. Gotta admire him for that.

 

[YankeessSuck]

So, here's a lead that never fails to make me shake my head every time I see it. And I see it used a lot.

"Alexandre Kapran died doing what he loved."

That's from today's Toronto Sun, and it's from a story about a guy who drowned while on a fishing trip.

The point was that the guy loved the outdoors, but all I can picture is the guy thrashing around in the water, gasping for air, accidentally gulping down sludgy water, and thinking to himself, "****, I just love doing this!"

Very good stuff. I'm still laughing my ass off.

 

[buzzerbeater]

"It was a homecoming of sorts for ..."

 

[Bubbler]

Came across a prep gamer once that read "The [school name here] running game chewed up yards the way a fat kid eats cake...lots of it at a time."

That one damn near made me **** my pants. I think what's funny isn't the awesomely bad metaphor, but the fact that he felt the need to qualify it.

 

[Bmiklasz]

I was coordinating prep coverage about 25 years ago in Baltimore, and one of our interns was assigned to do a piece on a high school track star. The young scribe apparently wanted to convey the spledid athlete's devotion to training.

The lede, and I do not jest:

"(Jane Doe) does not drink, smoke, take drugs or have premarital sex, except on special occasions."

I'll never forget that baby as long as I live.

 

[The_Equalizer]

Reminds me of a story about a senior women's golf tournament at one stop.

A player was quoted. She was complimenting the winner.

"Esther is just so consistent," Smith said. "She just never screws on the golf course."

As opposed to all of those players who just stop in the middle of a round for a little action.

Just a bad combination of a writer leaving out a critical word and the desk not catching it.

 

[PopeDirkBenedict]

Two examples ...

We had a sportswriter on a Division I beat who has since left the business who constantly would write ledes similar to this: "School X dominated School Y xx-x in front of a nationally televised audience."

And we had another one who, after being promoted from preps to assume the previously mentioned writer's beat, was struggling mightily ... bad stories, missing deadlines covering Division I-A football games, missing news, etc. Essentially, after about six games, our editor told him this was the week to nail it or he was going back to preps. Do or die.

Well, he nailed it and was at least sufficient for the rest of the season before also leaving the business the next spring. But, while searching the system for a story he was supposed to have turned in and didn't, I came across a file he had saved on the system. It was about 12 or 13 ledes he hadwritten for his do-or-die game, all beforehand, without any idea how the game would turn out.

And every one sucked.

Great story, Chief. Give the guy credit for trying -- at least in his own feeble way.

I knew a well-traveled freelancer who would steal ledes from the big local paper and change the names and use them in the medium-size paper 60 miles away.

If he though Reporter X had a good lede on a blowout NBA game, he would save it and swap names and maybe and adjective and use it on his high school game.

I once worked with a full-timer who did the same thing!

 

[Double J]

So, here's a lead that never fails to make me shake my head every time I see it. And I see it used a lot.

"Alexandre Kapran died doing what he loved."

That's from today's Toronto Sun, and it's from a story about a guy who drowned while on a fishing trip.

The point was that the guy loved the outdoors, but all I can picture is the guy thrashing around in the water, gasping for air, accidentally gulping down sludgy water, and thinking to himself, "****, I just love doing this!"

And in a wire story today about the late Crocodile Hunter:

"Steve Irwin died doing what he loved best..."

Yep, I'll bet his last thought was, "crikey, there's nothing quite being stabbed in the heart by a stingray!"

Is it laziness or a lack of creativity or both that causes writers to pen bull**** like "he died doing what he loved"?

 

[lono]

So, here's a lead that never fails to make me shake my head every time I see it. And I see it used a lot.

"Alexandre Kapran died doing what he loved."

That's from today's Toronto Sun, and it's from a story about a guy who drowned while on a fishing trip.

The point was that the guy loved the outdoors, but all I can picture is the guy thrashing around in the water, gasping for air, accidentally gulping down sludgy water, and thinking to himself, "****, I just love doing this!"

Is it laziness or a lack of creativity or both that causes writers to pen bull**** like "he died doing what he loved"?

Certainly, it could be both. It also could be something far less sinister — them trying to make sense of a situation that is inheritently hard to understand.

To some, death is more noble if it occurs in the pursuit of their chosen passion. People rationalize it as being less tragic that way.

To me, you're just as dead whether a stingray jabs you through the heart or you choke to death on a krikey nugget at Wallabee's Drive Thru.

And your kids are just as fatherless.