Why I love Dikembe Mutombo

[Chuck~Taylor]

http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/news/story?id=2549321

 

[Buck]

First off, let me share that getting malaria is a serious drag.
Second, when I was in Nigeria I was surprised that no one I spoke to had heard of Hakeem or Okoye.

 

[RAMBO]

Now thats what I call caring for others.

 

[Trey Beamon]

Now thats what I call COCKDIAN, Volume 6.

 

[Songbird]

"Who will sex the Mutombo?!"

 

[RAMBO]

Dikembe Mutombo is the man.

 

[DyePack]

Remedial Theatre presents:

COCKDIAN'S Othello ...

Act I, Scene Four

(in the Italian village of Compton)

KOBEAGO: (driving Lamborghini) Man, you shoulda seen that fatass when Des sprayed him in the face! Kazaam!

LeBRONO: Wait. You left Des there with those three?

KOBEAGO: Ease up, Mower. She's gonna service them, if you know what I mean.

LeBRONO: Asshole! Stop using my woman to fight your battles! And it's "Moor."

KOBEAGO: Chill out, homes. Now where's this other homeboy you say will help us out?

LeBRONO: Just down the block.

(KOBEAGO guides the Lamborghini down the street. Eventually they stop in front of a small townhouse. Grunting noises emerge from inside.)

KOBEAGO: (jumping out) OK, let's get the dude.

LeBRONO: Ease up a minute. Now, don't mispronounce this dude's name, or he gets sorta crazy. Here's how you say it ... (LeBRONO hands KOBEAGO an old arrest warrant with writing on the back.)

KOBEAGO: Heh, heh.

LeBRONO: Don't do it, man.

(They walk to the door and ring the bell.)

KOBEAGO: Let's ding-dong-ditch him.

LeBRONO: Grow the **** up. (A grunt comes through the speaker.) Hey, man, it's Bronbron.

(The lock release buzzes, and the two walk inside.)

ARTESTICLES: Hey, Bron. Who's the loser?

KOBEAGO: (raising hands) See these rings? You got one?

LeBRONO: Never mind that ****. Hey, ArtestiCLEES, (looks at KOBEAGO, then back), these crackers and their thug keep hassling us. Think you can go Dee-troit on their asses?

ARTESTICLES: Dunno, my man. I'm a rapper, not a fighter.

KOBEAGO: If that **** you were spewin' is rap, then I'm Andrew Marvell.

LeBRONO: Who?

KOBEAGO: Never mind. So, Artie, are you in or out?

ARTESTICLES: Don't cross me, dude. But I guess I'm in.

LeBRONO: Great! So what now?

KOBEAGO: I say we hit the dance floor!