Weird Question for the Board

[SoSueMe]

How accurate are home pregnancy tests?

Me and the Mrs. are batting two-for-two.

We've used two different brands and scored a positive on each.

It's funny. We're both kinda like "naahhh....really? you think?"

 

[Songbird]

First, mazel tov.

Secondly, one of the former took one once and it was negative.

Thirdly, if it's 5 for 5, then mazel tov again, Daddy!

 

[CentralIllinoisan]

Welcome to parenthood. :)

See that cutie to the left? You're getting one soon. It's a blast.

 

[slappy4428]

Welcome to parenthood. :)

See that cutie to the left? You're getting one soon. It's a blast.

Murphy find a way to clone people in his spare time from his movie career?

 

[CentralIllinoisan]

Welcome to parenthood. :)

See that cutie to the left? You're getting one soon. It's a blast.

Murphy find a way to clone people in his spare time from his movie career?

He did. Then he informed me of his plan to create Slappy 4429. I shut him down.

 

[slappy4428]

Welcome to parenthood. :)

See that cutie to the left? You're getting one soon. It's a blast.

Murphy find a way to clone people in his spare time from his movie career?

He did. Then he informed me of his plan to create Slappy 4429. I shut him down.

Smart man... someone should have quit at 4427 ;)

 

[sportschick]

How accurate are home pregnancy tests?

Me and the Mrs. are batting two-for-two.

We've used two different brands and scored a positive on each.

It's funny. We're both kinda like "naahhh....really? you think?"

They're pretty damned accurate, esp. the stick ones. You and the wife should have a blood test done to confirm (of course), and to make sure everything is OK.

Oh, and congrats!

 

[imjustagirl2]

Wait a minute...I smell shenanigans.

So you JUST got married...and NOWWWWWWW you find out she's preggers....yeah right!





(kidding...congrats, SSM!)

 

[EE94]

If you're 2-for-2 (2-of-2??) I can recommend a good mid-wife. You'll need it

 

[Jones]

THIS MESSAGE IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE CAMPAIGN FOR HONESTY IN FATHERHOOD:

Way to throw it to your wife, Sue. Planted that seed like it was a touchdown spike.

A little more than nine months from now, the greatest day of your life.

Then a lot of **** for, like, three months.

Then a mix of **** and joy for, like, six months.

Then a lot of joy, straight up.

Oh, and soon you'll cry over anything. I used to think "Wires" by Athlete was just a good song. Now I hear it, and I'm driving off the road through a curtain of tears.

And I would give anything for ten hours of sleep... Anything but my baby boy, that is.

It's amazing how you'd die in a finger snap to protect what is essentially a smiling, featherless turkey.

Oh, and don't eat out your wife if she breastfeeds. It'll taste like metal down there. You might as well lick a waffle iron for all the fun it'll be.

What were we talking about again?

 

[BYH]

Oh, and don't eat out your wife if she breastfeeds. It'll taste like metal down there. You might as well lick a waffle iron for all the fun it'll be.

Awesome. Totally awesome.

 

[devils_claw]

FWIW, I'm pretty sure you can routinely get a false negative with home pregnancy tests, but rarely a false positive.
The test searches for a hormone present in pregnant women.

 

[SoSueMe]

THIS MESSAGE IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE CAMPAIGN FOR HONESTY IN FATHERHOOD:

Way to throw it to your wife, Sue. Planted that seed like it was a touchdown spike.

A little more than nine months from now, the greatest day of your life.

Then a lot of **** for, like, three months.

Then a mix of **** and joy for, like, six months.

Then a lot of joy, straight up.

Oh, and soon you'll cry over anything. I used to think "Wires" by Athlete was just a good song. Now I hear it, and I'm driving off the road through a curtain of tears.

And I would give anything for ten hours of sleep... Anything but my baby boy, that is.

It's amazing how you'd die in a finger snap to protect what is essentially a smiling, featherless turkey.

Oh, and don't eat out your wife if she breastfeeds. It'll taste like metal down there. You might as well lick a waffle iron for all the fun it'll be.

What were we talking about again?

Easily the best, funniest, most thoughtful (strangest?) post in direct response to anything I've ever asked on this board.

 

[Cadet]

Depends. Did you get them 2-for-1 at the Dollar Store?

(Just kidding. Congrats!)

 

[Write-brained]

THIS MESSAGE IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE CAMPAIGN FOR HONESTY IN FATHERHOOD:

Way to throw it to your wife, Sue. Planted that seed like it was a touchdown spike.

A little more than nine months from now, the greatest day of your life.

Then a lot of **** for, like, three months.

Then a mix of **** and joy for, like, six months.

Then a lot of joy, straight up.

Oh, and soon you'll cry over anything. I used to think "Wires" by Athlete was just a good song. Now I hear it, and I'm driving off the road through a curtain of tears.

And I would give anything for ten hours of sleep... Anything but my baby boy, that is.

It's amazing how you'd die in a finger snap to protect what is essentially a smiling, featherless turkey.

Oh, and don't eat out your wife if she breastfeeds. It'll taste like metal down there. You might as well lick a waffle iron for all the fun it'll be.

What were we talking about again?

Oh, and don't eat out your wife if she breastfeeds. It'll taste like metal down there. You might as well lick a waffle iron for all the fun it'll be.

Awesome. Totally awesome.

I preferred the smiling turkey line, myself.

Never fail to amuse, Jones.

 

[Write-brained]

Sue,

Your wife is pregnant. You can have false negatives but there are no such things as false positives.

Congratulations.

 

[Sxysprtswrtr]

Oh, and don't eat out your wife if she breastfeeds. It'll taste like metal down there. You might as well lick a waffle iron for all the fun it'll be.

Awesome. Totally awesome.

ha! Excellent.
---
Congrats SSM!!!!

 

[SoSueMe]

Thanks everyone. Here's hoping both were right. Now we have to find a doctor in this third world country.

 

[EE94]

Thanks everyone. Here's hoping both were right. Now we have to find a doctor in this third world country.

Seriously, check out midwives, if your wife's health history is good.
Better attention than you'll get from a doctor, and you can have the baby at a hospital, at least in Ontario, if that makes you more comfortable.

 

[printdust]

How accurate are home pregnancy tests?

Me and the Mrs. are batting two-for-two.

We've used two different brands and scored a positive on each.

It's funny. We're both kinda like "naahhh....really? you think?"

Make sure you have insurance. Then go to the doctor. They usually won't make a declaration until the second month. Which was good for us with our first because we had no maternity insurance (on a private policy) for two years. Just like that, her company got insurance. Saved our ass.