"Undateable"

[Dick Whitman]

Riffing on the fashion faux pas thread, I heard a podcast the other day from a couple of women from New York or Chicago (can't recall which) who have written a humorous book called, "Undateable." The premise is 311 things men do, from fashion to habits to speech, that make them, well, "undateable."

Here is a list of 100:

http://blog.vh1.com/2010-05-14/undateables-things-that-guys-do-the-entire-countdown/

And here is a sampling:

91. Unfortunate Ties
90. Cell Phone On The Waist
89. Sports Cliches
88. The Flatulence Trifecta
87. Ordering Wine @ Stadium
86. Online TMI
85. Pleated Pants
84. Embellished Jeans
83. Rearranging Junk / Butt Picking
82. Sports Jerseys
81. Dirty Car
80. Aggressive Sport Fans
79. Murses
78. Whining
77. Jorts & Japris
76. Air Guitar
75. Boners
74. Fake Swearing
73. Hawaiian Shirts
72. Overly Creative Voice Mail
71. Names For Breasts
70. Listening To Lite FM

I'd be curious about what female SportsJournalists.commers think of some of the items.

Also - what makes a woman "undateable"? Personally, for me, loud talkers.

 

[Sans_Serif_Font]

What makes a woman undateable? A checklist.

 

[mustangj17]

What makes a woman undateable? A checklist.

The clap.

 

[Oggiedoggie]

What makes a woman undatable?

For me, it used to be that rare combination of a restraining order and a concealed-carry permit.

 

[Mizzougrad96]

1. Smokers
2. Tattoos

 

[93Devil]

1. Smokers
2. Tattoos

Hair above the lip.

Bad breath.

 

[dooley_womack1]

San Serif took my answer. ****, let life happen

 

[jlee]

75. Boners

Odd. I thought a lack of said item was a deal breaker. Though it does work the other way around, as boners make a woman completely undateable to me.

 

[sgreenwell]

I wonder how sickeningly patronizing of a book and title I could pen yet still sell copies. At this point, between silly crap like this and all of the horrible dating shows on television, I feel like there is nothing too crass for neurotic people who have problem getting dates. I should get to work on "You Can't Get A Date Because You're A Fat Ugly Stupid Poor Loser" immediately, and I'll be a millionaire by the end of the year.

 

[DanOregon]

I figure these are gender-neutral.

- estrangement from family
- more than one medical/health issue.
- Their choice of reading material. Check the bookshelves. Figure if there is a lot of self-help stuff the person thinks they need help.

 

[Ace]

My wife always is on me to clean the car. Is that a hint that she wants me to start dating?

 

[Armchair_QB]

What exactly is "The Flatulence Trifecta"?

 

[Ace]

What exactly is "The Flatulence Trifecta"?

I assumed it was a Taco Bell value meal.

 

[Batman]

What exactly is "The Flatulence Trifecta"?

1) Belching
2) Farting
3) Farting during sex and yelling "Rocket power on!" as you thrust

Personally, some form of flatulence was always sort of a test for me on the second or third date. If a woman let loose with a burp, it showed she was comfortable and not uptight. If I let one go (from either end) and she didn't object it made me feel more comfortable.

 

[DanOregon]

What exactly is "The Flatulence Trifecta"?

Farting
Farting with power
Farting to the opposite field.

I don't really know - duration, stink and volume?

 

[mustangj17]

What exactly is "The Flatulence Trifecta"?

Farting
Farting with power
Farting to the opposite field.

I don't really know - duration, stink and volume?

No. That's the farting triple crown.

The farting trifecta is burping, farting and sharting.

 

[JR]

Attention, sj. com fashionistas

85. Pleated Pants

 

[Second Thoughts]

What exactly is "The Flatulence Trifecta"?

Farting
Farting with power
Farting to the opposite field.

I don't really know - duration, stink and volume?

No. That's the farting triple crown.

The farting trifecta is burping, farting and sharting.

Sharting would be a definite deal breaker with either sex on a date.
And all y'all's answers to this made me laugh.

 

[Care Bear]

1) Belching
2) Farting
3) Farting during sex and yelling "Rocket power on!" as you thrust

I pray to God this happens to me.

 

[dooley_womack1]

As if that hasn't!