Top-five things chicks don't get about us

[Buck]

Sweetheart, do these cheesburgers and beers make me look fat?

 

[Seahawk]

1. Yes, I really do want to watch 10 hours straight of football... every Sunday.

2. Farting always is, always was and always will be funny.

3. From the day we are born, the female breast is man's favorite part of the body. That pretty much never changes.

4. Going for a walk is not fun... unless we have a specific destination. And that destination should involve food and/or beer.

5. Yes, I do want to watch Goodfellas again. And Shawshank, and My Cousin Vinny, and The Godfather, and...

 

[Lugnuts]

What I don't get...

With regard to sports...

The desire to watch meaningless NBA and meaningless MLB (i.e. after team has been mathematically eliminated from playoffs)

The uncanny recall of what number player X wore. I watch sports and see faces, bodies, etc. He sees numbers.

Other...

Love of gadgets/electronics

I used to not understand the lack of ability to sit still... but after having a son, I'm beginning to understand. You people are hardwired that way.

 

[playthrough]

1. Yes, I really do want to watch 10 hours straight of football... every Sunday.

2. Farting always is, always was and always will be funny.

3. From the day we are born, the female breast is man's favorite part of the body. That pretty much never changes.

4. Going for a walk is not fun... unless we have a specific destination. And that destination should involve food and/or beer.

5. Yes, I do want to watch Goodfellas again. And Shawshank, and My Cousin Vinny, and The Godfather, and...

Great list.

 

[micropolitan guy]

The desire to watch meaningless NBA and meaningless MLB (i.e. after team has been mathematically eliminated from playoffs)

And "Beaches," "Steel Magnolias" and other movies were never going to be nominated, much less win, any award for best movie. Yet you watched, by the millions.

Much has been covered; one that has not been:

I can easily go an entire day without saying a word, or not having to interact with another person, and be perfectly happy.

And there is nothing wrong with a good snot rocket. Nothing whatsoever.

 

[Armchair_QB]

5.

Yeah, chicks don't get how you could like IU Football. Or how you found a photo of a full Memorial Stadium (Buckeye game?)

College football fans don't get how you could like IU football so I'm not sure this should be on the list.

 

[Oggiedoggie]

"Sweetheart, do these jeans make me look fat?"

"No dear, your big butt makes you look fat. What about me?"

"The mere act of someone looking at you makes you look fat."


Also, almost no woman I've been around has understood the awesomeness of setting off your own fireworks, the bigger the better.

 

[Boom_70]

"Sweetheart, do these jeans make me look fat?"

"No dear, your big butt makes you look fat. What about me?"

"The mere act of someone looking at you makes you look fat."


Also, almost no woman I've been around has understood the awesomeness of setting off your own fireworks, the bigger the better.

 

[bumpy mcgee]

1 silence
2 space
3 coming home from work, pouring a drink, drinking it and going to bed without saying a word
4 when I say I'm fine, I'm fine, so when you say you're fine, I assume you're fine
5 I don't care that I'm wearing brown socks with black shoes/pants and you're probably the only one who notices

 

[Mark McGwire]

I heard their periods attract bears.

 

[YGBFKM]

That's for the "Top five things bears don't get about chicks" thread.

 

[Mark McGwire]

That's for the "Top five things bears don't get about chicks" thread.

You pay the bear tax! I already pay the McGwire tax!

 

[bumpy mcgee]

That's for the "Top five things bears don't get about chicks" thread.

You pay the bear tax! I already pay the McGwire tax!

Next thing you know, you got Brian Urlacher and Jay Cutler at your house and all hell is breaking loose.

 

[YGBFKM]

"Brian, does this eye black make me look like a *****?"

"No, Jay, not playing in the second half of the NFC title game makes you a *****. And marrying that reality *****. What the ****, bro?"

(I imagine Urlacher throws the word 'bro' around liberally.)

 

[imjustagirl]

3 coming home from work, pouring a drink, drinking it and going to bed without saying a word

On a long list of dickish things, this is pretty much A-1.

 

[schiezainc]

Also, don't know it this has been mentioned in detail but yes, honey, I do like to take my time on the crapper and. yes, most of that time is spent reading.

I don't know why I do it, I just know that reading while pooping is awesome. You should try it.

 

[Armchair_QB]

If you ask me which pair of shoes look better and you don't like my choice, why are you asking me in the first place?

 

[Oggiedoggie]

For confirmation.

 

[spikechiquet]

1 silence
2 space
3 coming home from work, pouring a drink, drinking it and going to bed without saying a word

3a If you fail to adhere to all of these, expect a black eye...I mean, a fall into a doorknob.

Why get married if these qualities are on your list?

 

[Armchair_QB]

For confirmation.

Should I go with red or blue shoes?

Red.

But I want to wear the blue ones!

Then why the hell did you ask me?