Tombstones

[TigerVols]

So Mrs. TV and I were having a discussion over lunch and it dawned on me I can get a better answer here than on Teh Googles.

Is it common, uncommon, or completely ****ing whacko for a husband and wife to have already bought and placed their tombstones?

I ask because the Mrs. visited her folks the other day -- both in their early 80s -- and they took her to visit their gravesite, complete with engraved tombstones, which they apparently bought several years ago. (Good thing there is no death date on them, huh?)

What say SportsJournalists.com nation?

 

[Tommy_Dreamer]

My father already has his set up right next to my mother's (she passed in 2004).

Kinda weirded me out a little but I think it's perfectly normal.

 

[ColdCat]

my grandparents did the same thing. I don't think I would ever want to if my spouse passed before I did (assuming I ever get married that is). It's gotta be pretty creepy walking up to a grave site and seeing your own name carved in stone, just waiting for a date to be added.

 

[Ronnie "Z-Man" Barzell]

It's probably relatively common if one spouse has already passed away (both sets of my grandparents did this), but I've never really seen a double tombstone where both sides have a blank date.

 

[TigerVols]

It's probably relatively common if one spouse has already passed away (both sets of my grandparents did this), but I've never really seen a double tombstone where both sides have a blank date.

Yes, if one has passed away...but both are still alive.

 

[Killick]

Not as weird as my thoughts lately. Don't want to be buried. I've been thinking I'd like to flown north, dumped out the door to the tundra to give the wildlife a meal. Sounds sick, I know, but hey... circle of life, you know?

 

[Evil ... Thy name is Orville Redenbacher!!]

My grandparents did it, but my grandmother, bless her heart, died in 1991. My grandfather got married again a few years later, and now has another plot next to his second wife.

On one hand, I kind of understand it, but on the other, it pisses me off.

Sweet... a wrinkleld threesome in the hereafter!

 

[Evil ... Thy name is Orville Redenbacher!!]

Not as weird as my thoughts lately. Don't want to be buried. I've been thinking I'd like to flown north, dumped out the door to the tundra to give the wildlife a meal. Sounds sick, I know, but hey... circle of life, you know?

Me too.
Told my wife no burial. She ain't wasting a several grand on a fancy box and a plot. Cremation is fine, unless there's a cheaper option.

 

[Bubbler]

I think its more common than people think.

 

[MightyMouse]

My grandfather died in '97. They placed a big two-for-one headstone on the side-by-side plots, put his name on it and left the other side blank until she died last year.

 

[TigerVols]

Just to reiterate, I think it's well established that couples have shared tombstones placed once one of them dies; what I'm talking about is having the shared tombstone placed when both are still alive and quite healthy.

 

[copperpot]

I don't know anyone who's ever done it, but I think it's pretty smart. They're not leaving the expense or design for anyone else to worry about.

My dad always said he didn't want to see his name on a tombstone before he died, but after we lost my mom and he ordered their stone, he went ahead and did it. Doesn't seem to bother him. Kind of funny side note: My dad's name is John Smith. When my brother died, we went to the funeral home to pick everything out, and all the sample stones and caskets said "John Smith." Maybe that's how my dad got comfortable with it.

Incidentally, my brother was 36 when he died, and I was kind of surprised his wife got side-by-side tombs for him because she still has a lot of life ahead of her and could conceivably with someone for much longer than the 10 years she was with my brother. As overwhelmed with grief as she was at the time, though, I'm sure she couldn't imagine ever being with anyone else.

 

[KYSportsWriter]

My grandma went ahead and had her name and birth year and all that on the tombstone after my grandpa died in 1998. Still freaks me out when I go to the graveyard to see her name on there.

 

[DanOregon]

I'd say it makes sense if a couple knows they will be buried side by side. Installing them already seems kind of weird if both are still alive. Seems like it would be easier to put the years on with them out of the ground.

 

[Bradley Guire]

Kick me to the gutter when I go. Not like I'm going to notice where I wind up, right?

 

[Brian]

Tangent: I always loved that when Jefferson designed his own headstone, he was worried about someone mining it.

"...to be of the coarse stone of which my columns are made, that no one might be tempted hereafter to destroy it for the value of the materials."

 

[Small Town Guy]

TigerVols,
Quite common to have both who are alive and healthy do it. At least in my hometown. Was just back there and visited the grave of a friend who recently died. He doesn't have a tombstone yet but as I walked around, was amazed at the number of tombstones of people who are young and quite healthy. People in early 50s. And in my parents' hometown, there was some guy who had a deal a few years back -- he sold tombstones -- and a bunch of young, healthy couples, both still alive, signed up for it so the cemetery there is filling up with them...although not, yet, filling up with bodies.

 

[buckweaver]

Seems to be pretty common in my extended family, I know that.

One benefit re: reserving a specific spot is that depending on the size of the cemetery (or the area of it in which you want to be buried); if you don't do it early enough, there may not be room for you after you die. So if the final resting place is important to you, why not go ahead and put a tombstone there now, too? If you're already thinking about it, I imagine having a marker with your name on it isn't going to bother you all that much.

 

[KG]

Seems to be pretty common in my extended family, I know that.

One benefit re: reserving a specific spot is that depending on the size of the cemetery (or the area of it in which you want to be buried); if you don't do it early enough, there may not be room for you after you die. So if the final resting place is important to you, why not go ahead and put a tombstone there now, too? If you're already thinking about it, I imagine having a marker with your name on it isn't going to bother you all that much.

I already have a plot for that reason.

 

[bigpern23]

You tell 'em I'm coming, and HELL'S coming with me!