There is a god

[poindexter]

ESPN's mobile phone (you know, the one they showcase when discussing someone's sudden death on tv?) is tanking.

Couldn't happen to a better bunch of **** heads.
http://www.sportsbusinessdaily.com/
Mobile ESPN has lost $25M so far after launching a $30M ad campaign that included an ad on ABC’s Super Bowl broadcast, according to Alice Cuneo of AD AGE. Disney President & CEO Robert Iger acknowledged, “Initial results were a little bit lower than we had hoped. But we have changed our pricing approach, we have strengthened and redirected our marketing, we’re expanding our presence at retail.” Ovum wireless analyst Roger Entner said that the $25M loss “would be considered ‘normal’ by carrier standards.” Entner added, “I would rather expect that to increase with more customers coming on board, but to swing into profitability [within 2-3 years]”

 

[leo1]

who needs it? you're online or have satellite radio or espnnews or espnradio just the local sports talk station. it's just too dweeby, even for dweebs.

 

[Perry White]

UPDATE (via Gawker)
http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/thr/new_media/brief_display.jsp?vnu_content_id=1002876092

Merrill Lynch: Kill ESPN Mobile!
Analysts Jessica Reif Cohen and Michael Kopelman on Wednesday wrote that "it is time for Disney to pull the plug on Mobile ESPN," charging that since Disney launched the service with much fanfare during Super Bowl XL, the company has had little luck landing paying subscribers. Merrill added that while Disney significantly reduced the cost of the handset in April, dropping the price of its Samsung model to $99 after the original Sanyo handset launched at $399, "the model does not appear to be a particularly attractive use of capital," as the reseller business traditionally offers a low return on investment.

UPDATE to the Update
A more detailed article (via Deadspin): http://www.mediaweek.com/mw/news/recent_display.jsp?vnu_content_id=1002876073

 

[Buck]

Maybe they just need to air more commercials.

 

[DyePack]

They just need to put a page designer-type spin on it. Then people will think they sell by the thousands.

 

[Ben_Hecht]

Their sales are worse than Quite Frankly's early ratings . . .

 

[Ace]

They just need to put a page designer-type spin on it. Then people will think they sell by the thousands.

Next comment like that and you'll get a red card, Dye.

 

[goalmouth]

Shoot, I was really looking forward to getting a Berman ringtone -- "Backbackbackbackback!"

 

[TigerVols]

Having seen first-hand just how brilliant the boys in Bristol are, I'm surprised this ridiculous thing's sold more than five copies.

The phone's ugly, expensive, and fills a need no one has. Not unike John Skipper.

 

[kingcreole]

Maybe they  just need to air more commercials.

Yeah, especially with that stalker guy. That would sell more phones.

 

[alleyallen]

They just need to put a page designer-type spin on it. Then people will think they sell by the thousands.

That is perhaps one of your more needlessly asshole-ish statements. You're a ****head, plain and simple. And I don't normally call people names on here.

 

[DyePack]

They just need to put a page designer-type spin on it. Then people will think they sell by the thousands.

That is perhaps one of your more needlessly asshole-ish statements.

I'm sure it's not even in the top 100.

And you need to get better on the name-calling. ****tard.

 

[alleyallen]

They just need to put a page designer-type spin on it. Then people will think they sell by the thousands.

That is perhaps one of your more needlessly asshole-ish statements.

I'm sure it's not even in the top 100.

And you need to get better on the name-calling. ****tard.

Better name? How about: Ugly, fetid, blood-stained-tampon-sucking racoon ****er?
Jizm-covered midget-porn reject?
****-splattered, pig-masturbating zygote smear?

I could go on but why bother? Besides it's time to go home. The good news is tomorrow is a new day. The bad news is, you'll still be a elephant-fisting, toilet-water-drinking abortion leftover when the sun rises again.

 

[dog428]

They just need to put a page designer-type spin on it. Then people will think they sell by the thousands.

That is perhaps one of your more needlessly asshole-ish statements.

I'm sure it's not even in the top 100.

And you need to get better on the name-calling. ****tard.

Better name? How about: Ugly, fetid, blood-stained-tampon-sucking racoon ****er?
Jizm-covered midget-porn reject?
****-splattered, pig-masturbating zygote smear?

I could go on but why bother? Besides it's time to go home. The good news is tomorrow is a new day. The bad news is, you'll still be a elephant-fisting, toilet-water-drinking abortion leftover when the sun rises again.

OHHHHHHH

 

[DyePack]

They just need to put a page designer-type spin on it. Then people will think they sell by the thousands.

That is perhaps one of your more needlessly asshole-ish statements.

I'm sure it's not even in the top 100.

And you need to get better on the name-calling. ****tard.

Better name? How about: Ugly, fetid, blood-stained-tampon-sucking racoon ****er?
Jizm-covered midget-porn reject?
****-splattered, pig-masturbating zygote smear?

I could go on but why bother? Besides it's time to go home. The good news is tomorrow is a new day. The bad news is, you'll still be a elephant-fisting, toilet-water-drinking abortion leftover when the sun rises again.

OHHHHHHH

Thinking about that weekend with Alberto again, dog?

 

[dog428]

They just need to put a page designer-type spin on it. Then people will think they sell by the thousands.

That is perhaps one of your more needlessly asshole-ish statements.

I'm sure it's not even in the top 100.

And you need to get better on the name-calling. ****tard.

Better name? How about: Ugly, fetid, blood-stained-tampon-sucking racoon ****er?
Jizm-covered midget-porn reject?
****-splattered, pig-masturbating zygote smear?

I could go on but why bother? Besides it's time to go home. The good news is tomorrow is a new day. The bad news is, you'll still be a elephant-fisting, toilet-water-drinking abortion leftover when the sun rises again.

OHHHHHHH

Thinking about that weekend with Alberto again, dog?

Nope, I was thinking more about alley handing you your ass after you asked him to do so.

Couldn't happen to a more deserving dickhead.

 

[DyePack]

They just need to put a page designer-type spin on it. Then people will think they sell by the thousands.

That is perhaps one of your more needlessly asshole-ish statements.

I'm sure it's not even in the top 100.

And you need to get better on the name-calling. ****tard.

Better name? How about: Ugly, fetid, blood-stained-tampon-sucking racoon ****er?
Jizm-covered midget-porn reject?
****-splattered, pig-masturbating zygote smear?

I could go on but why bother? Besides it's time to go home. The good news is tomorrow is a new day. The bad news is, you'll still be a elephant-fisting, toilet-water-drinking abortion leftover when the sun rises again.

OHHHHHHH

Thinking about that weekend with Alberto again, dog?

Nope, I was thinking more about alley handing you your ass after you asked him to do so.

Couldn't happen to a more deserving dickhead.

It's just a stream of names. I barely read it.

Yawn. Thanks for playing, dog. Now go back to dreaming about what if Gore and Kerry had run decent campaigns ...

 

[dog428]

They just need to put a page designer-type spin on it. Then people will think they sell by the thousands.

That is perhaps one of your more needlessly asshole-ish statements.

I'm sure it's not even in the top 100.

And you need to get better on the name-calling. ****tard.

Better name? How about: Ugly, fetid, blood-stained-tampon-sucking racoon ****er?
Jizm-covered midget-porn reject?
****-splattered, pig-masturbating zygote smear?

I could go on but why bother? Besides it's time to go home. The good news is tomorrow is a new day. The bad news is, you'll still be a elephant-fisting, toilet-water-drinking abortion leftover when the sun rises again.

OHHHHHHH

Thinking about that weekend with Alberto again, dog?

Nope, I was thinking more about alley handing you your ass after you asked him to do so.

Couldn't happen to a more deserving dickhead.

It's just a stream of names. They all describe me perfectly.

Alley gave me exactly what I asked for.

 

[DyePack]

They just need to put a page designer-type spin on it. Then people will think they sell by the thousands.

That is perhaps one of your more needlessly asshole-ish statements.

I'm sure it's not even in the top 100.

And you need to get better on the name-calling. ****tard.

Better name? How about: Ugly, fetid, blood-stained-tampon-sucking racoon ****er?
Jizm-covered midget-porn reject?
****-splattered, pig-masturbating zygote smear?

I could go on but why bother? Besides it's time to go home. The good news is tomorrow is a new day. The bad news is, you'll still be a elephant-fisting, toilet-water-drinking abortion leftover when the sun rises again.

OHHHHHHH

Thinking about that weekend with Alberto again, dog?

Nope, I was thinking more about alley handing you your ass after you asked him to do so.

Couldn't happen to a more deserving dickhead.

It's just a stream of names. They all describe me perfectly.

Alley gave me exactly what I asked for.

He's down to manipulating quotes.

Just wave the white flag already, dog.

 

[zeke12]

hey, you two have your fun, but I'll not have people denigrating the time-honored sj tradition of fun-with-the-quote function.

It ranks with haiku as one of our finer arts.