The demise of "Thank You" (a rant)

[Dyno]

What happened to people saying thank you? I know I’m becoming a curmudgeon as I age, but I’ve noticed that fewer and fewer people are saying thank you these days (to me, at least).

Today, as I was leaving my notoriously confusing office building, I held the door open for a normal-looking, 50-something woman. She was clearly lost and said, “I really wish I could figure out where I need to go.” I asked her what she was looking for and pointed her toward the correct elevator. Did she thank me? Of course not.

A co-worker and his wife had a baby a few months ago. I sent a gift and card to their house. A couple of weeks after I sent the gift, the wife came into the office. When I walked past her in the hall, I asked how the baby was. Her response was, “Oh, he’s fine. And hey, listen, we got your gift. I don’t have time to write thank you notes, so you’re just going to have to deal with it.” Nice, eh? And she never even thanked me!

In the past week, I was not thanked for my business at the following stores: Neiman Marcus, Target, Starbucks and Safeway. I feel like asking for the cashier to say “thank you” as they hand me my change/receipt/item is not too much. Am I wrong?

 

[cougargirl]

As a whole, the virtue of politeness has simply gone out the window.

 

[busuncle]

Thank-you notes were pounded into me so much as a kid that I am dumbfounded when I discover that other people don't believe they're necessary.
My mom would have a little notebook on Xmas day to list all the gifts from various relatives and then she would spend the rest of the Xmas break hounding me and my brothers to write thank-you notes.

 

[Flash]

No 'thank you,' no gift from me next time. I hold the door open for you, I will say 'you're welcome' very loudly if you don't express your gratitude. No 'thank you' for my business and that's the last you see of me.

 

[Duane Postum]

What happened to people saying thank you?  I know I’m becoming a curmudgeon as I age, but I’ve noticed that fewer and fewer people are saying thank you these days (to me, at least).

Today, as I was leaving my notoriously confusing office building, I held the door open for a normal-looking, 50-something woman.  She was clearly lost and said, “I really wish I could figure out where I need to go.”  I asked her what she was looking for and pointed her toward the correct elevator.  Did she thank me?  Of course not.

A co-worker and his wife had a baby a few months ago.  I sent a gift and card to their house.  A couple of weeks after I sent the gift, the wife came into the office.  When I walked past her in the hall, I asked how the baby was.  Her response was, “Oh, he’s fine.  And hey, listen, we got your gift.  I don’t have time to write thank you notes, so you’re just going to have to deal with it.”   Nice, eh?   And she never even thanked me!

In the past week, I was not thanked for my business at the following stores:  Neiman Marcus, Target, Starbucks and Safeway.  I feel like asking for the cashier to say “thank you” as they hand me my change/receipt/item is not too much.  Am I wrong? 

Y'know, I can't claim to be much good about thank you notes, but to say "You're going to have to deal with it" to the person I didn't send a thank-you note to? That's some serious-ass nerve.

 

[Rockbottom]

I am married to a comely lass who seemed to be reared on this tack, and it has taken the better part of five years for me to gently drive home the point that saying "thank you" when I do something nice generally incites more niceness.

rb

 

[outofplace]

What happened to people saying thank you?  I know I’m becoming a curmudgeon as I age, but I’ve noticed that fewer and fewer people are saying thank you these days (to me, at least).

Today, as I was leaving my notoriously confusing office building, I held the door open for a normal-looking, 50-something woman.  She was clearly lost and said, “I really wish I could figure out where I need to go.”  I asked her what she was looking for and pointed her toward the correct elevator.  Did she thank me?  Of course not.

A co-worker and his wife had a baby a few months ago.  I sent a gift and card to their house.  A couple of weeks after I sent the gift, the wife came into the office.  When I walked past her in the hall, I asked how the baby was.  Her response was, “Oh, he’s fine.  And hey, listen, we got your gift.  I don’t have time to write thank you notes, so you’re just going to have to deal with it.”   Nice, eh?   And she never even thanked me!

In the past week, I was not thanked for my business at the following stores:  Neiman Marcus, Target, Starbucks and Safeway.  I feel like asking for the cashier to say “thank you” as they hand me my change/receipt/item is not too much.  Am I wrong? 

Y'know, I can't claim to be much good about thank you notes, but to say "You're going to have to deal with it" to the person I didn't send a thank-you note to? That's some serious-ass nerve.

Maybe she thought she was being cute. Or maybe she had a post-partum thing going (sometimes the hormones are worse than during the pregnancy) Or maybe she's just a jerk.

 

[shockey]

thank-you notes are a pain, even though my folks harrass me to this day about them. but some sort of acknowledgment is in order, whether it be a phone call or email. oral politeness is dying, it seems, which makes me stand out even more among people who serve me. my kids have been raised to be vocally demonstrative, too. referring to adults they know as mr./mrs. so-and-so is nice to hear from them, too.


of course, the kids i know well who slip and call me "mr. shockey" get slapped around. "mr. shockey's my dad. i'm jeremy." that **** just makes me feel old. 8) 8) 8)

 

[Terd Ferguson]

There is no excuse for people not to say "Thank you" when you make your purchase. None. That's just good business and when people don't do it, it infuriates me. I generally reply to their silence with a loud, sarcastic "Your welcome."
I worked for a time in food service and retail through high school and college, so maybe that's why it pisses me off so much. I realize how little effort it takes.
These damn kids today! [/20-something going on 80-something]


As for thank you notes, I frickin hate writing them, but I know it hurts/pisses me off when I don't get them, so I force myself to write them. I'll force my children to write them, just like my mom forced me. It's just common decency and an absolute must for growing up in the South.

 

[alleyallen]

No 'thank you,' no gift from me next time. I hold the door open for you, I will say 'you're welcome' very loudly if you don't express your gratitude. No 'thank you' for my business and that's the last you see of me.

This is not a joke ... my mom would slap the back of my head if I didn't hold the door open for a woman as a kid. Now I open car doors for any female riding with me, I let women get on elevators first, I stand up from the table when a woman gets up or sits down, etc., etc., etc. I kind of like being one of the few men with manners any more because it makes me stand out.

 

[TwoGloves]

I hate myself every time I get something from a drive-thru window and say thank you to the person who handed me the food but doesn't thank me in return for my business. I swear, one of these days I'm going to say, "Get used to working at the drive-thru window. You're going to be there a while."

 

[ballscribe]

i do the old "You're WELCOME" thing too, when the lack of courtesy from the "customer service" sector, or anyone on whom I bestow a random act of kindness, pisses me off.

I got the thank-you notes thing ingrained in me, too. Three weeks after my wedding (two of which were spent on the honeymoon), they were all in the mail.

The other thing that really sort of makes me laugh is the response to "Thank you" when dealing with CSP (customer-service personnel).
This seems to be a uniquely American phenomenon, and it gathers strength the further south you go, for some reason.

Customer: Thank you very much.
CSP: UH-huh! (sounds better said out loud than spelled)

Love that one.

 

[Dyno]

What happened to people saying thank you?  I know I’m becoming a curmudgeon as I age, but I’ve noticed that fewer and fewer people are saying thank you these days (to me, at least).

Today, as I was leaving my notoriously confusing office building, I held the door open for a normal-looking, 50-something woman.  She was clearly lost and said, “I really wish I could figure out where I need to go.”  I asked her what she was looking for and pointed her toward the correct elevator.  Did she thank me?  Of course not.

A co-worker and his wife had a baby a few months ago.  I sent a gift and card to their house.  A couple of weeks after I sent the gift, the wife came into the office.  When I walked past her in the hall, I asked how the baby was.  Her response was, “Oh, he’s fine.  And hey, listen, we got your gift.  I don’t have time to write thank you notes, so you’re just going to have to deal with it.”   Nice, eh?   And she never even thanked me!

In the past week, I was not thanked for my business at the following stores:  Neiman Marcus, Target, Starbucks and Safeway.  I feel like asking for the cashier to say “thank you” as they hand me my change/receipt/item is not too much.  Am I wrong? 

Y'know, I can't claim to be much good about thank you notes, but to say "You're going to have to deal with it" to the person I didn't send a thank-you note to? That's some serious-ass nerve.

Maybe she thought she was being cute. Or maybe she had a post-partum thing going (sometimes the hormones are worse than during the pregnancy) Or maybe she's just a jerk.

I considered all three of those options and I decided on the last.  :)  

 

[JR]

And the correct response to "Thank You" is, "You're Welcome".

Not, "No problem". I hate that with a passion. It's like nails on a chalkboard.

 

[alleyallen]

And the correct response to "Thank You" is, "You're Welcome".

Not, "No problem". I hate that with a passion. It's like nails on a chalkboard.

I tend to prefer, "My pleasure." A bit more personal, and it makes it sound like you actually wanted to help them.

 

[BYH]

This is not a joke ... my mom would slap the back of my head if I didn't hold the door open for a woman as a kid. Now I open car doors for any female riding with me, I let women get on elevators first, I stand up from the table when a woman gets up or sits down, etc., etc., etc. I kind of like being one of the few men with manners any more because it makes me stand out.

This is going to come as a surprise to some people, but the other day, I was complimented on my gentlemanly nature. My wife and I were going out for a ride and we said hello to our neighbor, who was sitting outside. I went around to open the door for my wife, at which point our neighbor says "Oh my goodness, how gallant!" and went into this rant about how nobody ever opens a door for her. I felt bad for her, especially since this has been ingrained in me for as long as I can remember. You open the car door for a woman. If my father ever saw me open the door myself and then lean over to open the door for my wife, he'd slap me upside the head.

I will be the first to admit I am AWFUL about thank you cards. I'm a procrastinator by nature, so you can imagine how long those things pile up. My mom was rabid about reminding my sister and I to write cards immediately after receiving gifts as kids, but it only stuck with my sister. When I got married, it took me months to write thank you cards. The whole time, my mom, like Ray Barone's mom, harrangued me about how I had to write the thank yous because so-and-so was asking if I got the gift.

My sister, the ******* overachiever that she is, wrote them as soon as she returned from her honeymoon. Apparently, Ballscribe is the same way.  >:(  :D

If I see you in person or talk to you on the phone, I'll thank you profusely for the gift. I'm just awful about writing it out. Oh the irony.

As for people not saying thank you for common everyday courtesies, I hate that. Had it happen today. Was walking out of a building, held the door open twice for an older woman behind me and didn't get any acknowledgment. Told her to see me next tuesday (after I got in the car, of course).  :D

 

[micropolitan guy]

Am I wrong?

Yes, and you're just going to have to deal with it. ;D

Saying please and thank-you was drilled into my head as a kid, and we've done the same to our child. We often hear, from other parents, how courteous mini-micro is. Well, it's not brain surgery, it's called parenting.

 

[buckweaver]

BYNeut, I had the car-door thing drilled into my head too. It's not even a chivalry thing -- it's just *that's what you do*, whether it's your S.O., or your mother, or someone else's mother, or a friend, or a chick just along for the ride. *That's what you do*. Open her door, then go around see if she passes the Door Test and open your own. :D

I guess the same applies to please and thank you, too. *That's what you do*. No need to make a scene out of it, just say it and that's it.

But thank you cards ... eh, we'll see. Ain't hitched yet, so I don't know about that one. Now, I write them when I really, really want to go overboard with the thank you to somebody. But anybody else, I thank them the next time I talk to them or see them.

 

[Columbo]

BYNeut, I had the car-door thing drilled into my head too. It's not even a chivalry thing -- it's just *that's what you do*, whether it's your S.O., or your mother, or someone else's mother, or a friend, or a chick just along for the ride. *That's what you do*. Open her door, then go around see if she passes the Door Test and open your own. :D

I guess the same applies to please and thank you, too. *That's what you do*. No need to make a scene out of it, just say it and that's it.

But thank you cards ... eh, we'll see. Ain't hitched yet, so I don't know about that one. Now, I write them when I really, really want to go overboard with the thank you to somebody. But anybody else, I thank them the next time I talk to them or see them.

I think holding the door ONLY for women... is more latent chauvinism than chivalry.

 

[Chi City 81]

BYNeut, I had the car-door thing drilled into my head too. It's not even a chivalry thing -- it's just *that's what you do*, whether it's your S.O., or your mother, or someone else's mother, or a friend, or a chick just along for the ride. *That's what you do*. Open her door, then go around see if she passes the Door Test and open your own. :D

I guess the same applies to please and thank you, too. *That's what you do*. No need to make a scene out of it, just say it and that's it.

But thank you cards ... eh, we'll see. Ain't hitched yet, so I don't know about that one. Now, I write them when I really, really want to go overboard with the thank you to somebody. But anybody else, I thank them the next time I talk to them or see them.

I think holding the door ONLY for women... is more latent chauvinism than chivalry.

This from the psycho who probably hasn't seen a vagina in person since birth.