SJ.com Stadium

[dog428]

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

SportsJournalists.com Stadium is pleased to announce a partnership with once-dead Jefferson Pilot Sports, which will provide SportsJournalists.com Stadium officials with the needed funds to finalize several important and fan-friendly upgrades.
The deal with JP includes one college football game each Saturday, beginning at 6 a.m. EST. During the game, don't forget to listen closely for score updates from around the country. Brought to you by d_b, scores for all games will be a minimum of three quarters behind so as not to promote the idea that anyone associated with JP has experience operating an Internet-capable computer, a TV, a radio or a telephone system.
In conjunction with this deal, SportsJournalists.com Stadium will begin work finalizing our Fanboy Looser Area for media members who enjoy a bit more access and tend to become much more invested in the contests than the other working professionals. Located on the balcony overlooking the black tarp separating Fenian's Loony Left Cove and Hondo's Retarded Righty Landing, the Fanboy Looser section will offer media members numerous TV screens showing a variety of camera angles. Each seat in the Fanboy Looser area is completely isolated using STFU soundproofing technology and will offer a direct line to teams' coaching booths so these media members might pass along suggestions, complaints or simply call to chit-chat with their favorite coaches.
Also, SportsJournalists.com Stadium is proud to announce the largest interactive scoreboard in stadium history. Tabbed the Prancing Billy Jumbotron, this behemoth of a board will offer a variety of instant replays and interactive games, such as "Who's the celeb no one finds hot but you?" and "Things that rhyme with Ack".
Finally, for the kids, SportsJournalists.com Stadium officials are proud to announce the selection of two new mascots -- hey, a stadium this refreshing can't have just one. Bring the kids early each game to meet Colonel Angus and Chuck Norris. Remember though, when meeting Chuck, there is a strict no backtalking policy. Repercussions for violators are severe and often deadly.
SportsJournalists.com Stadium is extremely proud of this new deal and the progress being made. We hope that in the future, this upgrade will eliminate the unannounced shut downs of the stadium for various, and sometimes lengthy, periods of time. We understand completely the stress that these shutdowns cause our frequent visitors as they scramble in search of the unorganized, insufficient backup stadiums, or "fallout shelters" as some have dubbed these other monstrosities.
We do hope you appreciate and are happy with the progress that's being made and the efforts of our staff to keep SportsJournalists.com Stadium free and happy. This is one place the terrorists will never win.

 

[shotglass]

dog sure as hell COULD work for the Plain Dealer...

 

[BYH]

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

SportsJournalists.com Stadium is pleased to announce a partnership with once-dead Jefferson Pilot Sports, which will provide SportsJournalists.com Stadium officials with the needed funds to finalize several important and fan-friendly upgrades.
The deal with JP includes one college football game each Saturday, beginning at 6 a.m. EST. During the game, don't forget to listen closely for score updates from around the country. Brought to you by d_b, scores for all games will be a minimum of three quarters behind so as not to promote the idea that anyone associated with JP has experience operating an Internet-capable computer, a TV, a radio or a telephone system.
In conjunction with this deal, SportsJournalists.com Stadium will begin work finalizing our Fanboy Looser Area for media members who enjoy a bit more access and tend to become much more invested in the contests than the other working professionals. Located on the balcony overlooking the black tarp separating Fenian's Loony Left Cove and Hondo's Retarded Righty Landing, the Fanboy Looser section will offer media members numerous TV screens showing a variety of camera angles. Each seat in the Fanboy Looser area is completely isolated using STFU soundproofing technology and will offer a direct line to teams' coaching booths so these media members might pass along suggestions, complaints or simply call to chit-chat with their favorite coaches.
Also, SportsJournalists.com Stadium is proud to announce the largest interactive scoreboard in stadium history. Tabbed the Prancing Billy Jumbotron, this behemoth of a board will offer a variety of instant replays and interactive games, such as "Who's the celeb no one finds hot but you?" and "Things that rhyme with Ack".
Finally, for the kids, SportsJournalists.com Stadium officials are proud to announce the selection of two new mascots -- hey, a stadium this refreshing can't have just one. Bring the kids early each game to meet Colonel Angus and Chuck Norris. Remember though, when meeting Chuck, there is a strict no backtalking policy. Repercussions for violators are severe and often deadly.
SportsJournalists.com Stadium is extremely proud of this new deal and the progress being made. We hope that in the future, this upgrade will eliminate the unannounced shut downs of the stadium for various, and sometimes lengthy, periods of time. We understand completely the stress that these shutdowns cause our frequent visitors as they scramble in search of the unorganized, insufficient backup stadiums, or "fallout shelters" as some have dubbed these other monstrosities.
We do hope you appreciate and are happy with the progress that's being made and the efforts of our staff to keep SportsJournalists.com Stadium free and happy. This is one place the terrorists will never win.

****. Does this mean we get 4,900 posts of crap since you've come up with two good ones in two days? :D

I like the idea of the Prancing Billy Jumbotron and the SJ-specific entertainment on the screen. At Yankee Stadium, they do this infernal, XM-sponsored promotion every game in which players select their favorite song from a group of three. So that might be a good idea: Get Jugs to sponsor "Who's the celeb you find hot that no one else does: Rachael Ray, Maura Tierney or the chick that plays Chloe on 24?"

BYH: Rachael Ray.
Goon: Rachael Ray.
2MCM: Chloe.
Casty33: Rachael Ray.
Spnited: I didn't hear you what did you say sonny?
Hondo: Depends. Who among that group votes Republican?
dog: Rachael Ray.

Announcer: "The celeb that no one except SJ finds hot is......RACHAEL RAY!!!" Then a clip of 30-minute meals airs. :D :D :D

 

[slappy4428]

Damn.. I so wanted Maura Tierney...

 

[dog428]

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

SportsJournalists.com Stadium is pleased to announce a partnership with once-dead Jefferson Pilot Sports, which will provide SportsJournalists.com Stadium officials with the needed funds to finalize several important and fan-friendly upgrades.
The deal with JP includes one college football game each Saturday, beginning at 6 a.m. EST. During the game, don't forget to listen closely for score updates from around the country. Brought to you by d_b, scores for all games will be a minimum of three quarters behind so as not to promote the idea that anyone associated with JP has experience operating an Internet-capable computer, a TV, a radio or a telephone system.
In conjunction with this deal, SportsJournalists.com Stadium will begin work finalizing our Fanboy Looser Area for media members who enjoy a bit more access and tend to become much more invested in the contests than the other working professionals. Located on the balcony overlooking the black tarp separating Fenian's Loony Left Cove and Hondo's Retarded Righty Landing, the Fanboy Looser section will offer media members numerous TV screens showing a variety of camera angles. Each seat in the Fanboy Looser area is completely isolated using STFU soundproofing technology and will offer a direct line to teams' coaching booths so these media members might pass along suggestions, complaints or simply call to chit-chat with their favorite coaches.
Also, SportsJournalists.com Stadium is proud to announce the largest interactive scoreboard in stadium history. Tabbed the Prancing Billy Jumbotron, this behemoth of a board will offer a variety of instant replays and interactive games, such as "Who's the celeb no one finds hot but you?" and "Things that rhyme with Ack".
Finally, for the kids, SportsJournalists.com Stadium officials are proud to announce the selection of two new mascots -- hey, a stadium this refreshing can't have just one. Bring the kids early each game to meet Colonel Angus and Chuck Norris. Remember though, when meeting Chuck, there is a strict no backtalking policy. Repercussions for violators are severe and often deadly.
SportsJournalists.com Stadium is extremely proud of this new deal and the progress being made. We hope that in the future, this upgrade will eliminate the unannounced shut downs of the stadium for various, and sometimes lengthy, periods of time. We understand completely the stress that these shutdowns cause our frequent visitors as they scramble in search of the unorganized, insufficient backup stadiums, or "fallout shelters" as some have dubbed these other monstrosities.
We do hope you appreciate and are happy with the progress that's being made and the efforts of our staff to keep SportsJournalists.com Stadium free and happy. This is one place the terrorists will never win.

****. Does this mean we get 4,900 posts of crap since you've come up with two good ones in two days? :D

I like the idea of the Prancing Billy Jumbotron and the SJ-specific entertainment on the screen. At Yankee Stadium, they do this infernal, XM-sponsored promotion every game in which players select their favorite song from a group of three. So that might be a good idea: Get Jugs to sponsor "Who's the celeb you find hot that no one else does: Rachael Ray, Maura Tierney or the chick that plays Chloe on 24?"

BYH: Rachael Ray.
Goon: Rachael Ray.
2MCM: Chloe.
Casty33: Rachael Ray.
Spnited: I didn't hear you what did you say sonny?
Hondo: Depends. Who among that group votes Republican?
dog: Rachael Ray.

Announcer: "The celeb that no one except SJ finds hot is......RACHAEL RAY!!!" Then a clip of 30-minute meals airs. :D :D :D

Oh, I think 4,900 posts of pure bull**** is a given.

Once the stadium work is finished, we need to start coming up with jobs for some of the regulars. Obviously, Starman and d_b have spots nailed down. But we gots lots of spots to fill here.

 

[PopeDirkBenedict]

SportsJournalists.com stadium will also offer state of the art movie theatre for enjoyment when the team isn't playing. The Spinted wing will show classic films, right up to end of the silent era. The Bubbler wing will show spaghetti westerns and Red Dawn on an endless loop. There will also be the 8-Second Wing for discerning adults who want to watch mini-clips of 30 Minute Meals with the ease and comfort of hand lotion and kleenex nearby.

 

[BYH]

Once the stadium work is finished, we need to start coming up with jobs for some of the regulars. Obviously, Starman and d_b have spots nailed down. But we gots lots of spots to fill here.

Here's two to start:

Spnited: Usher (most stadiums have older ushers :D :D )
Hockeybeat: Information desk (because he loves tourists!)

 

[Chi City 81]

I'm too new to get a job here. Alas ... :'(

 

[KP]

Wouldn't JP be reading last week's scores because nobody else has started by 6am. Just a tweak.

 

[dog428]

Wouldn't JP be reading last week's scores because nobody else has started by 6am. Just a tweak.

Yeah, but they'll still be three quarters behind.

 

[novelist_wannabe]

Mitch Albom Working Press Box?

Replete with leather recliners, remote control and big-screen monitors at every work station.

 

[dog428]

Mitch Albom Working Press Box?

Replete with leather recliners, remote control and big-screen monitors at every work station.

Well, I wouldn't call them work stations.

 

[slappy4428]

Mitch Albom Working Press Box?

Replete with leather recliners, remote control and big-screen monitors at every work station.

Well, I wouldn't call them work stations.

No Booster seats?

 

[Yawn]

No, from the press box view, call the "left" side of the 50 the SportsJournalists.com territory.

On second thought, we don't want a bad reputation. Never mind. Plus, some of us still try to "right" the situation.

 

[audreyld]

No, from the press box view, call the "left" side of the 50 the SportsJournalists.com territory.

On second thought, we don't want a bad reputation. Never mind. Plus, some of us still try to "right" the situation.

Well, that was asinine.

 

[sportschick]

No, from the press box view, call the "left" side of the 50 the SportsJournalists.com territory.

On second thought, we don't want a bad reputation. Never mind. Plus, some of us still try to "right" the situation.

Well, that was asinine.

That's what we've come to expect from that one.

 

[audreyld]

No, from the press box view, call the "left" side of the 50 the SportsJournalists.com territory.

On second thought, we don't want a bad reputation. Never mind. Plus, some of us still try to "right" the situation.

Well, that was asinine.

That's what we've come to expect from that one.

The trolls around here (on both sides) make nice, normal moderate people like me look bad just for being members of their party.

There should be a party for not-crazy people.

That said, I still want to be the official SportsJournalists.com stadium photog, because my cutlines would be spelled right and make sense.

 

[dooley_womack1]

In some stadiums, the announcer encourages the fans to do the wave or yell. At SportsJournalists.com Stadium, the announcer would tell the fans to raise their pimp hand.

 

[lono]

Let's not forget a couple of potentially massive profit centers:

The Bob Jelenic Port-A-Lets, which will be strategically placed in the parking lot and will bleed every last dime out of each user, every time;

And the adult entertainment area, the TINSIT (There-Is-No-Sex-In-The) VIP Room.

 

[dooley_womack1]

An excerpt from d_b's stint as PA announcer:

"And in the NHL tonight, it's Barons 2, North Stars 1 in the second period."