She unleashed a lion

[Evil ... Thy name is Orville Redenbacher!!]

I don't have to outrun the lion, I just have to outrun you.

Outing alert ... Steak is Shane Walsh (Walking Dead).

 

[expendable]

Gnashed its teeth and bit the woman having sex.

A lion killed a woman while she was having sex in the bush with her boyfriend, reports have emerged. He managed to escape wearing nothing but a condom.

http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/articles/442888/20130306/lion-mauls-woman-death-zimbabwe-having-sex.htm

By "Zimbabwe," they mean "Camp Crystal Lake." And, by "lion," they mean "Jason Voorhees."

And by "reports have emerged" and "in Zimbabwe," they mean "it didn't actually happen, but it would be cool if it did."

Are you saying, they're lion?

 

[Versatile]

This is really weird. I skimmed through this thread before going to work, and then at work I found out about this:

http://news.yahoo.com/volunteer-killed-lion-calif-animal-park-031926536.html

For a little while, I thought these two were the same story until I checked back here and clicked the link. I just thought the odds would be kind of long that I would come across two stories of women being fatally mauled by lions on the same day.

Lions don't kill people. People kill people.

 

[Versatile]

Stop the lion on layin' violence.

 

[Evil ... Thy name is Orville Redenbacher!!]

Safe words, people.
Safe words.

 

[BitterYoungMatador2]

Did he bite the recess lady's breast?

 

[Versatile]

That was a horribly written story. Was it really important to say they were having sex in a sideways position?

It depends on the lion. Some prefer it doggystyle.

 

[Double J]

This is really weird. I skimmed through this thread before going to work, and then at work I found out about this:

http://news.yahoo.com/volunteer-killed-lion-calif-animal-park-031926536.html

For a little while, I thought these two were the same story until I checked back here and clicked the link. I just thought the odds would be kind of long that I would come across two stories of women being fatally mauled by lions on the same day.

Lions don't kill people. People kill people.

The only way to stop a bad lion with a gun is a good lion with a gun.

 

[HejiraHenry]

1,000 Ways to Die #909: "I'm Lion, You're Dyin'."

 

[Boom_70]

And now the end is near
And so I face the final curtain
My friend I'll say it clear
I'll state my case of which I'm certain

I've lived a life that's full
I traveled each and every highway
And more, much more than this
I did it sideways

 

[Songbird]

That was a horribly written story. Was it really important to say they were having sex in a sideways position?

It depends on the lion. Some prefer it doggystyle.

2 points.