She unleashed a lion

[TheSportsPredictor]

Gnashed its teeth and bit the woman having sex.

A lion killed a woman while she was having sex in the bush with her boyfriend, reports have emerged. He managed to escape wearing nothing but a condom.

http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/articles/442888/20130306/lion-mauls-woman-death-zimbabwe-having-sex.htm

 

[Ace]

Why was the lion wearing a condom? Sounds premeditated.

 

[Ace]

That was a horribly written story. Was it really important to say they were having sex in a sideways position?

 

[Double J]

Gnashed its teeth and bit the woman having sex.

A lion killed a woman while she was having sex in the bush with her boyfriend, reports have emerged. He managed to escape wearing nothing but a condom.

http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/articles/442888/20130306/lion-mauls-woman-death-zimbabwe-having-sex.htm

By "Zimbabwe," they mean "Camp Crystal Lake." And, by "lion," they mean "Jason Voorhees."

 

[Steak Snabler]

Sex in the bush is generally preferable to sex in the butt, or so I'm told.

 

[Evil ... Thy name is Orville Redenbacher!!]

Hoped this was going to be a *"Modern Day Delilah" reference.

The 1984 Van Stephenson song.

 

[dooley_womack1]

Hoped this was going to be a *"Modern Day Delilah" reference.

The 1984 Van Stephenson song.

BYH and Huggy just sprung wood and don't know why.

 

[dixiehack]

Her boyfriend, a fisherman who was not identified, heard the lion roar, MyZimbabwe reported.

Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

 

[dooley_womack1]

The lion sleeps tonight, my ass!

 

[PCLoadLetter]

Gnashed its teeth and bit the woman having sex.

A lion killed a woman while she was having sex in the bush with her boyfriend, reports have emerged. He managed to escape wearing nothing but a condom.

http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/articles/442888/20130306/lion-mauls-woman-death-zimbabwe-having-sex.htm

By "Zimbabwe," they mean "Camp Crystal Lake." And, by "lion," they mean "Jason Voorhees."

And by "reports have emerged" and "in Zimbabwe," they mean "it didn't actually happen, but it would be cool if it did."

 

[Baron Scicluna]

The lion was hungry. He wanted some rapefruit.

 

[Ace]

It's the perfect story to share with your teenagers:

"Hey kids, look. It says here that if you run off in the bushes to have sex, you're likely to be eaten by a lion. And apparently the guy only survived because he was wearing a condom."

 

[Captain_Kirk]

Apparently, she died doing what who she loved.

But, seems like there's got to be more to the story with Mr. Running Condom. He's there bangin' her, and then the lion comes up and it's every man and woman for him/herself? Makes no attempt to save her, it's just **** and run? Maybe it's too difficult to be heroic with a raging hard-on.

 

[LongTimeListener]

Apparently, she died doing what who she loved.

But, seems like there's got to be more to the story with Mr. Running Condom. He's there bangin' her, and then the lion comes up and it's every man and woman for him/herself? Makes no attempt to save her, it's just **** and run? Maybe it's too difficult to be heroic with a raging hard-on.

He'll have his spot in hell next to the non-CPR-doing nurse.

 

[Steak Snabler]

I don't have to outrun the lion, I just have to outrun you.

 

[britwrit]

Best use of a stock photo ever. Without it, I'd have no idea what a lion looks like.

 

[Boom_70]

Oscar Pistorious has had some bad luck with girl friends in the past few weeks.

 

[93Devil]

Approves...

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_TGaFUPJleS4/TF4Kz5oq11I/AAAAAAAAUe4/ptCdRnaLarM/s320/Oasis+****in'+In+The+Bushes+(Clean+Edit).jpg

 

[mpcincal]

This is really weird. I skimmed through this thread before going to work, and then at work I found out about this:

http://news.yahoo.com/volunteer-killed-lion-calif-animal-park-031926536.html

For a little while, I thought these two were the same story until I checked back here and clicked the link. I just thought the odds would be kind of long that I would come across two stories of women being fatally mauled by lions on the same day.

 

[Evil ... Thy name is Orville Redenbacher!!]

It's the perfect story to share with your teenagers:

"Hey kids, look. It says here that if you run off in the bushes to have sex, you're likely to be eaten by a lion. And apparently the guy only survived because he was wearing a condom."

Chalk up another victory for safe sex!
It saves lives.