Running 'Only in Florida' thread

[Evil ... Thy name is Orville Redenbacher!!]

The place to come for ALL the strange, non-Poin files stuff that happens in Florida.

The inaugural entry .... Naked man beating off in driveway because mom wouldn't let him watch porn in the house.

http://offthebeat.blogs.tcpalm.com/2014/12/09/1010/

 

[Evil ... Thy name is Orville Redenbacher!!]

Nice start to 2015.

http://www.bradenton.com/2014/12/31/5557685_deputies-florida-man-gets-naked.html?rh=1

According to deputies, Jeremiah Phillip Patterson took his clothes off in the bathroom of a CVS on the 2300 block of Land O’ Lakes Boulevard on Tuesday.
Deputies said he then left the bathroom naked and proceeded to rummage through six dog beds. Deputies said he grabbed three and laid on top of them in the bathroom naked.

http://www.local10.com/news/marisol-toribio-smears-poop-in-employees-faces-police-say/30386486

A shoplifting suspect, apparently out of options after being confronted by employees, smeared poop in their faces, police said.
Marisol Toribio, 32, was arrested Tuesday by Coral Springs police.
According to court documents, Toribio was caught stealing from Macy's, so she pulled some poop out of her pants and smeared it on the faces of the loss prevention employees who confronted her.
Toribio appeared in bond court Wednesday morning. She faces theft charges, plus a charge of tampering with or fabricating physical evidence.

 

[SnarkShark]

In their faces?

 

[Moderator1]

Nice for her that she could have a load at the ready.

 

[Rawbot]

This being posted on a blog called Off the Beat made it that much more amusing.

The place to come for ALL the strange, non-Poin files stuff that happens in Florida.

The inaugural entry .... Naked man beating off in driveway because mom wouldn't let him watch porn in the house.

http://offthebeat.blogs.tcpalm.com/2014/12/09/1010/

 

[Oggiedoggie]

"I kneed you!"

Bullet hits Melbourne man's testicles, wife charged in shooting

 

[Donny in his element]

As a longtime and former Floridian, I know I'm not alone in this feeling. Weird Florida stories are the best clickbait for we ex-pats. There's always a 25 percent chance, no matter where one lived, that the craziness occurred nearby. Almost makes one proud when the dateline loads.

Signed, former Brevard County, Tallahassee and Jacksonville local man.

 

[Shropshire Slasher]

Only a step from here to Jesus.

Humans and Mastodons Coexisted in Florida, New Evidence Shows

 

[cjericho]

Florida man shoots himself, doesn't notice until days later

 

[BDC99]

As a native and lifelong resident, I laugh at Florida Man stories and just keep my fingers crossed that none of it ever affects anyone I care about.

 

[Neutral Corner]

Florida man shoots himself, doesn't notice until days later

"Then, on the third day, he took off his shirt..."

 

[Spartan Squad]

That struck me too. I get wearing the same shirt a few times in a row but who doesn't take their shirt off for three days?

 

[Neutral Corner]

Florida man buried his boss in dirt using a front-end loader, police say

 

[Shropshire Slasher]

Apotheosis?