Relationships

[outofplace]

Not a lady, just play one on TV ...

My insight is that she's telling you this stuff because she thinks of you as a "good friend," a "nice guy," and she'll confide in a "nice guy" while she keeps going after, or allows herself to be chased by, the "bad boys."

She's 18. You're 25. Totally different places in life. Right now, it's not going to work, because she's confiding in you, the "nice guy" who never would try all of the things she says she deplores by the "bad boys," but really loves it; loves the attention; loves being the object of a bad boy's affection.

Yup, sounds dead on to me. If they are confiding in you, it is very like that you have been slapped with the friend tag. And 18-year-olds usually don't have it in them to change their minds once they have bestowed the friend tag upon you.

 

[crusoes]

Few women, of any age, change their minds on that subject. She wants to be friends, cool. You, meanwhile, move on.

It's like getting the franchise player tag in the NFL. She wants to keep you on the roster, but not give you what you think you're worth.

 

[Cansportschick]

Well, I can't be with someone who is needy and they have to understand and accept who I am and all aspects of my life. Especially being a journalist, I work long hours and also have to travel. Friends are convinced that I will end up marrying a foreign correspondent because they would be a perfect fit for me. ;D

 

[Mayfly]

Recently, this girl told me that she had just been "dating" this one guy who turned out to be a real sleaze. Two days after they had been seeing each other, he pulls over his car as he's driving her home and asks to have sex with her, which she says she said no without a second thought. She's been trying to break it off with the punk, but he keeps on avoiding her or pulls some other dumb ****.

Now when it comes to dating, I am very cynical by nature. On one hand, I'm thinking "Hey, this is good. I'm not dealing with a girl who's all loosey-goosey." But there's that nagging voice in the back of my head that's saying "Why is she telling you this in the first place? Is there an ulterior motive?" Comments? What do the lady-folk of SportsJournalists.com have to say about this situation?

You have officially been put in the friend zone. Don't date her, just hang out with her. Move on.

 

[PhilaYank36]

At least she isn't 3,000 miles away & horny as hell for you... :

 

[Bucknutty]

At least she isn't 3,000 miles away & horny as hell for you... :

Perhaps some private phone conversations will help...they sure did when I was apart from my girlfriend at the time.

 

[Buck]

Drunkeness is always better than a relationship.

 

[imjustagirl2]

But when you can find the magic combination of both, buck? Then you're one of life's winners.

 

[Buck]

But when you can find the magic combination of both, buck? Then you're one of life's winners.

You temptress. You siren.
Such things only exist in dreams.

 

[spaceman]

Nurses.

They work crazy hours and make more money than you do.

Find the bars where the nurses hang out...

This is the best advice I have ever seen for young journalists.

 

[spaceman]

It's like getting the franchise player tag in the NFL. She wants to keep you on the roster, but not give you what you think you're worth.

This is the second best advice I have ever seen for young journalists.

 

[Buck]

I dated a nurse a long time ago.
She was a girlfriend from high school, and we dated again after college.
Great girl, eventually married a doctor.

 

[Hustle]

Is that damn button bouncing yet? [/mixedthreads]

I have a little experience on two topic areas...

I dated a nurse (kind of; she was in school to be a physician's assistant). The reality of crazy work schedules never really hit, since I was dating her while she was working on her post-grad and doing internships and such.

We had gone to school near each other; regional rival schools, actually. She hung with a girl I knew from high school, and it grew from there. It was great until she went off to grad school; I was pretty misty eyed the day she started because I knew things were going to be different. "No, they'll be fine, blah blah blah..."

Sure enough. Suddenly her smarter school friends were a lot more fun to hang out with than her sportswriter fiance. She dumped me over the phone while I was in the office. "You know, I've been thinking..." she said. "Sonofabitch, she's gonna drop the bomb," I thought. "...we shouldn't get married."

Whatever. She did me a favor. I try to convince myself I have no reason to be bitter about it - more on that in a sec - but deep down inside, I still am. I guess I just never understood how a guy that tried so hard to do everything he could for her turned out not to be good enough once she moved away. But hey, she was right: It really wasn't me, it was her.

Now? I've got zero to complain about. Wonderful wife who completely gets it and understands the job. My No. 1 priority in life is spending time with her. My job takes a backseat to that; that's why I work day shifts whenever I can. I made the decision to put life ahead of work; does it mean I'll never make to SI? Probably. (Though one could argue I wouldn't have anyway.) But that's a decision I'm fine with, and I recognize it's not going to be the same answer for everyone else.

As usual with my stories, I'm not sure if there's anything to be gleaned from them, but I figured it couldn't hurt sharing.

 

[outofplace]

Is that damn button bouncing yet? [/mixedthreads]

I have a little experience on two topic areas...

I dated a nurse (kind of; she was in school to be a physician's assistant). The reality of crazy work schedules never really hit, since I was dating her while she was working on her post-grad and doing internships and such.

We had gone to school near each other; regional rival schools, actually. She hung with a girl I knew from high school, and it grew from there. It was great until she went off to grad school; I was pretty misty eyed the day she started because I knew things were going to be different. "No, they'll be fine, blah blah blah..."

Sure enough. Suddenly her smarter school friends were a lot more fun to hang out with than her sportswriter fiance. She dumped me over the phone while I was in the office. "You know, I've been thinking..." she said. "Sonofabitch, she's gonna drop the bomb," I thought. "...we shouldn't get married."

Whatever. She did me a favor. I try to convince myself I have no reason to be bitter about it - more on that in a sec - but deep down inside, I still am. I guess I just never understood how a guy that tried so hard to do everything he could for her turned out not to be good enough once she moved away. But hey, she was right: It really wasn't me, it was her.

Now? I've got zero to complain about. Wonderful wife who completely gets it and understands the job. My No. 1 priority in life is spending time with her. My job takes a backseat to that; that's why I work day shifts whenever I can. I made the decision to put life ahead of work; does it mean I'll never make to SI? Probably. (Though one could argue I wouldn't have anyway.) But that's a decision I'm fine with, and I recognize it's not going to be the same answer for everyone else.

As usual with my stories, I'm not sure if there's anything to be gleaned from them, but I figured it couldn't hurt sharing.

I'm sure plenty of us can identify with that. I think all of us, even ones who ended up happily married, still have some past relationship that still bugs us or leaves us still feeling bitter when we think about it. I'm not sure why that is, either, but I know the feeling.

 

[Bucknutty]

Is that damn button bouncing yet? [/mixedthreads]

I have a little experience on two topic areas...

I dated a nurse (kind of; she was in school to be a physician's assistant). The reality of crazy work schedules never really hit, since I was dating her while she was working on her post-grad and doing internships and such.

We had gone to school near each other; regional rival schools, actually. She hung with a girl I knew from high school, and it grew from there. It was great until she went off to grad school; I was pretty misty eyed the day she started because I knew things were going to be different. "No, they'll be fine, blah blah blah..."

Sure enough. Suddenly her smarter school friends were a lot more fun to hang out with than her sportswriter fiance. She dumped me over the phone while I was in the office. "You know, I've been thinking..." she said. "Sonofabitch, she's gonna drop the bomb," I thought. "...we shouldn't get married."

Whatever. She did me a favor. I try to convince myself I have no reason to be bitter about it - more on that in a sec - but deep down inside, I still am. I guess I just never understood how a guy that tried so hard to do everything he could for her turned out not to be good enough once she moved away. But hey, she was right: It really wasn't me, it was her.

Now? I've got zero to complain about. Wonderful wife who completely gets it and understands the job. My No. 1 priority in life is spending time with her. My job takes a backseat to that; that's why I work day shifts whenever I can. I made the decision to put life ahead of work; does it mean I'll never make to SI? Probably. (Though one could argue I wouldn't have anyway.) But that's a decision I'm fine with, and I recognize it's not going to be the same answer for everyone else.

As usual with my stories, I'm not sure if there's anything to be gleaned from them, but I figured it couldn't hurt sharing.

I'm sure plenty of us can identify with that. I think all of us, even ones who ended up happily married, still have some past relationship that still bugs us or leaves us still feeling bitter when we think about it. I'm not sure why that is, either, but I know the feeling.

I can see myself eventually getting past my current situation, but I find it hard to believe that I will not always be at least somewhat bitter. I'm not sure I can let go of this completely.

 

[outofplace]

Is that damn button bouncing yet? [/mixedthreads]

I have a little experience on two topic areas...

I dated a nurse (kind of; she was in school to be a physician's assistant). The reality of crazy work schedules never really hit, since I was dating her while she was working on her post-grad and doing internships and such.

We had gone to school near each other; regional rival schools, actually. She hung with a girl I knew from high school, and it grew from there. It was great until she went off to grad school; I was pretty misty eyed the day she started because I knew things were going to be different. "No, they'll be fine, blah blah blah..."

Sure enough. Suddenly her smarter school friends were a lot more fun to hang out with than her sportswriter fiance. She dumped me over the phone while I was in the office. "You know, I've been thinking..." she said. "Sonofabitch, she's gonna drop the bomb," I thought. "...we shouldn't get married."

Whatever. She did me a favor. I try to convince myself I have no reason to be bitter about it - more on that in a sec - but deep down inside, I still am. I guess I just never understood how a guy that tried so hard to do everything he could for her turned out not to be good enough once she moved away. But hey, she was right: It really wasn't me, it was her.

Now? I've got zero to complain about. Wonderful wife who completely gets it and understands the job. My No. 1 priority in life is spending time with her. My job takes a backseat to that; that's why I work day shifts whenever I can. I made the decision to put life ahead of work; does it mean I'll never make to SI? Probably. (Though one could argue I wouldn't have anyway.) But that's a decision I'm fine with, and I recognize it's not going to be the same answer for everyone else.

As usual with my stories, I'm not sure if there's anything to be gleaned from them, but I figured it couldn't hurt sharing.

I'm sure plenty of us can identify with that. I think all of us, even ones who ended up happily married, still have some past relationship that still bugs us or leaves us still feeling bitter when we think about it. I'm not sure why that is, either, but I know the feeling.

I can see myself eventually getting past my current situation, but I find it hard to believe that I will not always be at least somewhat bitter. I'm not sure I can let go of this completely.

I don't even try. It is what it is.

 

[PhilaYank36]

OK, now my brain has just blown a fuse. I've been talking this girl who is fantastic in many, many facets. But not only is she just going into her frosh year of college & I'm two years out, but she also dropped this bombshell on me: her uncle is Cardinal McCarrick.

I'm not saying that's a bad thing, I was just floored when she told me about this. I mean, wow. Oh BTW, yes, I am a Catholic.

 

[Flying Headbutt]

Cardinal McCarrick is one of the few catholic leaders I really, really respect.

On the other hand, to hell with women. I'm fed up anymore.

 

[ArnoldBabar]

I could work less, but then I'd be stuck here for the rest of my life. Maybe I should mention I'm only 23, and I'd like to move to a better paper with less hours one day.

Problem is, it's not the people seeking eight-hour days who get the big-paper jobs (at least from a writing perspective -- better-staffed desks can often provide reasonable hours). It's the people who will live the job with no complaints and travel and have no life -- that's what papers want. Which sucks, because it's the only way you can make enough money to support a family ... which you then never see.

I'm about to get married for the first time at 38, and I'm a baseball beat guy. The relationship thing has been sucky at times but workable. The crisis coming for me is kids -- out of six beat writers at our place, most are married but I think only one has kids.

It's one thing to take off on a two-week road trip and miss your wife, but to leave with a baby at home? Not only to miss that time in the kid's life, but to stick your wife with handling a baby and the house and everything? That might be what will ultimately drive me out of the business. The more I have to come home to, the harder it is to be gone.

 

[Det. Jimmy McNulty]

She's more fustrated with my boss's inability to do the schedule more than 2 weeks in advance (kinda hard to plan a social life that way) than she is with the hours.

wow. my boss has a problem doing the schedule more than two days in advance. sched comes out saturday: i get sun and mon off. i take off for a destination 250 miles away from work sun morn. i get a call sun night: "uh, i had to make a few changes to the schedule. the PTer i bend over backwards for can't work monday, so i'm going to need you to come in."

right out of ****ing office space, i tell you.