I went to a funeral today, and it was amazing.

[93Devil]

A coworker of mine had his mother pass away last week, and today was the funeral.

I cannot even tell you if the church was Baptist or any other denomination. It was just a church from the outside, but it did have a long name, like Holy Cross Church of Salvation or something like that.

There were no candles, no ornate decorations. There was just an open casket and a few flower arrangements.

The building had a few pews, and probably held about 150 people on its hardwood floors.

Well for this funeral, it held about 160.

I can assume there was heat in the winter, and the air conditioning was supplied by three overmatched window units that could be purchased at Wal Mart.

Hand fans were set in front of everyone, just in case.

I sat with four coworkers, also known as the only other white guys in the room. I was probably the only Yankee.

I came in expecting to hear crying and wailing. I had no reason to expect what I was about to hear and see.

Respects were paid, and this kept the mood somber at first.

The Preacher said some nice words, then he called for the choir to come up. Mind you, this women's grandchildren made up half of the choir.

Two high school aged boys were on the piano and the drums and a middle aged man was on the base guitar.

Immediately, this stopped being a sad occasion.

In this church, outside of a one-stoplight town in the middle of nowhere Virginia, was probably one of the most amazing displays of just plain celebration I have ever seen.

Amazing Grace, and this version would have won American Idol, started easily enough, but then it grew faster and faster. Then people started dancing and shaking and calling out, and the band, with two high schoolers in it mind you, smoothly turned it into a 15-minute version.

I think I caught the kid on the piano glancing at his fingers once or twice. Let's just say he was good.

The preacher referred to this part of the session as the service getting "hot."

Then he started preaching. I guess it was because he had a packed house, and about 10 percent of the words I could not understand, but he was getting his point across loud and clear.

One of the messages I took from this service was that this woman was in a better place. She spent her entire life being faithful to God, and now she is rewarded in Heaven. People were sad to see her go, but once that casket was closed, it was a celebration of her achievement.

Then some more fantastic singing and music.

I'll never forget it.

It was one of those glorious times where complete brilliance came totally unexpected, and this is the best kind.

 

[Diabeetus]

Sounds like how I want my funeral to be, way down the road of course. I'm glad it was such an uplifting experience for you.

 

[a_rosenthal]

My father always said, you can't spell funeral without fun. Better to smile about the good than cry about the sad.

 

[RedHotChiliPrepper]

Sounds like how I want my funeral to be, way down the road of course. I'm glad it was such an uplifting experience for you.

I've always thought the same way. I want people to be sad that I'm gone, but I want them to be happy they knew me. I want my friends to crack the same jokes about me that they do now. I want people to tell stories and laugh as hard as they can. I know that's hard to do, but I don't live my life in a serious manner all the time. I live my life by the philosophy that you're only young once, but you can be immature forever. I live my life doing what I can to make people smile. I want people to smile when they think about me, even when I'm gone.

 

[Baron Scicluna]

Glad to hear that the funeral was so uplifting, Devil.

Hopefully (many years down the line), at my funeral, I hope there's a certain amount of ceremony, along with a bunch of laughs. I've envisioned it like a sporting event, where they play the U.S. and Canadian anthems to start the funeral, have some sad moments, have a few chants of my name, and have a seventh-inning stretch where everyone stands and sings 'Take me out to the Ballgame."

 

[kingcreole]

My dad went to a funeral like that once. Said the only thing missing was the keg and chips. Said if it hadn't been a funeral for the father of a guy who worked for my dad, he would have good time.

 

[ArnoldBabar]

I went to a funeral
and Lord it made me happy
seeing all those people
that I ain't seen
since the last time somebody died.


-- Lyle Lovett, "Since the Last Time"

 

[buckweaver]

and have a seventh-inning stretch where everyone stands and sings 'Take me out to the Ballgame."

My grandfather's funeral didn't have a "seventh-inning stretch," but we did indeed close with his favorite song: "Take Me Out to the Ballgame."

I want that song at mine.

Incidentally, it was the only part of his ceremony that I didn't completely lose it. He used to sing that song to me when I was little ... as my lullaby.

 

[old_tony]

My mon's side of the family -- the Irish half of me -- has great funerals. We get a family room at the funeral home and set up a full bar -- liquor and mixers, beer, wine ... you name it.

When my grandpa died 12 years ago, at the end we all pulled a bottle of his favorite whiskey out and poured shots and stood around his casket and toasted him. My aunt's funeral had a champagne fountain.

Grandma died eight years ago and that was another great funeral. Same funeral home, same set-up. She was 92 when she died and she still had two older sisters.

 

[In Exile]

After my mother died our house was the site of the best two days of parties imaginable, as all her brothers and sisters from Newfoundland came down and held a gigantic kitchen party.

She'd have loved it. That's the way to go.

 

[Huggy]

After my mother died our house was the site of the best two days of parties imaginable, as all her brothers and sisters from Newfoundland came down and held a gigantic kitchen party.

She'd have loved it. That's the way to go.

Well, you know what they say: What's the difference between a Newfie wedding and a Newfie funeral? One less drunk. (Same can apply to Irish, Scottish etc.) Newfies hold the best kitchen parties (take it from a guy who lives next door to one). This will not be disputed. Would love to get to the Rock one day.

 

[Football_Bat]

After my mother died our house was the site of the best two days of parties imaginable, as all her brothers and sisters from Newfoundland came down and held a gigantic kitchen party.

She'd have loved it. That's the way to go.

Well, you know what they say: What's the difference between a Newfie wedding and a Newfie funeral? One less drunk. (Same can apply to Irish, Scottish etc.) Newfies hold the best kitchen parties (take it from a guy who lives next door to one). This will not be disputed. Would love to get to the Rock one day.

I'd join you, but that kissing-the-fish thing for Newfie newbies might be a bit much.

 

[alleyallen]

My Devil...what a story. Thank you so much for sharing it. And I agree with the earlier sentiment. So far, I've lived a pretty damn good life. Year and years from now, when I finally kick off, I want people to celebrate the wonderful life I enjoyed, not mourn the fact that it's over. Sing, dance, share stories, laugh and love.

 

[Bristol Whipped]

Was Will Ferrell there?

 

[Eagles1 in London]

i always found funerals for senior citizens to be more of a celebration of their life than anything else. of course there are tears, but usually they are outnumbered by the smiles and laughter over the memory of these people.

The only tough to get through funerals are the ones for younger people or middle aged folks who die without warning (heart attacks, etc)--i dread these. I once had to go to a funeral for a family friend's son (age 13) who was killed playing with a loaded gun. Lets just say there was no choir....

 

[alleyallen]

i always found funerals for senior citizens to be more of a celebration of their life than anything else. of course there are tears, but usually they are outnumbered by the smiles and laughter over the memory of these people.

The only tough to get through funerals are the ones for younger people or middle aged folks who die without warning (heart attacks, etc)--i dread these. I once had to go to a funeral for a family friend's son (age 13) who was killed playing with a loaded gun. Lets just say there was no choir....

Spot on with that last observation. Had a friend who's middle son died when he got hit in the temple with a BB. A freaking BB. There simply wasn't any room for good feelings in that one.

 

[EE94]

What's the difference between and Irish wedding and an Irish wake?

 

[alleyallen]

What's the difference between and Irish wedding and an Irish wake?

The food? The band?

 

[EE94]

What's the difference between and Irish wedding and an Irish wake?

The food? The band?

one fewer drunk

 

[Hustle]

A former co-worker of my wife's passed away late last year. He was a former Marine (though I guess they would argue there is no such thing) who had spent most of his life in public service - from the armed forces to Senate aide. He had planned on taking a job at the Pentagon before his cancer came back and, ultimately, took his life.

He was buried at Arlington in a service that, as long as I'll live, I will never forget.

There was like a two-month delay between his viewing and the burial, just because of the backlog of funerals at Arlington. But when the day came, it was snowing - something that we didn't get much of this winter.

It was weird taking my car into Arlington where, when I'd visited before, I'd always just gone to the visitor's parking lot. The grounds weren't reserved for people like me and my car.

The service was in the chapel. Two Marines pushed his casket in and demonstrated a precision I'd rarely seen in my life - probably the last time was when I last saw the Old Guard at the Tomb of the Unknowns. The service was mostly sad, though one person's eulogy was pretty funny. Sen. Ensign was one of the eulogists and did very well, as you would expect from someone so used to public speaking.

The actual burial was unlike anything I've ever seen. We waited in a long line of cars and were one of the last ones to the internment site - we actually missed the service there because there were so many people and we parked so far away.

But I was struck by the regiment, or whatever their division was called, as they left. It occurred to me I had never seen so many soldiers in one place at one time; even all those trips to Quantico, all I saw was mostly forest and the occasional building.

The lone guy in the back barked orders and came as close to the description of 'barrel-chested' as I'd ever seen. The snow kept falling and often, we'd hear planes fly overhead on the way to National - though there was no way we'd ever see them. The snow gave the whole thing a muted quality.

I was taken by the fact that someone I knew belonged to the ages in a place where only heroes lie. RIP, Colonel D.