I forgot about jury duty today -- how badly am I screwed?

[Mystery_Meat]

I forgot to call last night to see if I needed to be on jury duty today. I don't know whether I was on the list of those who were supposed to be in today. I don't know if I'm in contempt for court or what. I don't know a lot right now, I'm afraid. Am I completely ****ed, like looking at jail time or anything? Did I just **** my life up for good with a criminal record? I'm starting to think this might be it for me -- is it?

 

[Moderator1]

We'll bake you a cake.

 

[The Big Ragu]

Well, the prisons are overcrowded with guys who blew off jury duty. The good news is you're higher than the child molesters in the prison pecking order.

 

[Mighty_Wingman]

Better yet...We'll bake you a cake with a file in it.

 

[Oz]

I would call whatever number you forgot to call before, to see whether your number was among those that were supposed to show. If not, you're fine.

That's where I would start. Good luck, man.

 

[Kaylee]

Just make sure you knock the **** out of someone your first day in the yard. Or else everyone is going to think they can take your manhood.

 

[Mystery_Meat]

I would call whatever number you forgot to call before, to see whether your number was among those that were supposed to show. If not, you're fine.

That's where I would start. Good luck, man.

Already did that, and they've changed the message to Friday's jury duty list -- and apparently nobody has to go to jury duty tomorrow. I'm hoping that's what happened today. Otherwise ... hell, maybe I'm overreacting, but ... hell.

 

[Mystery_Meat]

Also, while the cake with a file in it might be a good idea, I'd probably eat the ****ing thing without realizing it.

 

[Flying Headbutt]

You're probably helped by the fact that the cops didn't show up at your place already today to take you to court.

 

[shotglass]

I'm imagining what the inmates are going to do when you tell them what you're in for ... it's not pretty, MM.

Not pretty at all.

 

[dooley_womack1]

Man, I think Mystery_Meat will be Dead_Meat in the pound-em-in-the-ass state pen he'll be in.

 

[Claws for Concern]

If you go to jail, you'll find out a new meaning of the phrase: Hell in a Cell!

 

[slappy4428]

Enjoy PMITA Prison

 

[TwoGloves]

Don't sweat it. Call them and tell them what happened. I've been called five times (that's right boys and girls, five freaking times) and the one time I completely forgot, they called me and I had to go talk to the judge. Me and a couple of women. He said he could put us in jail but he didn't want to do that and would we be willing to sign up right then to serve. I did and that was it. But if you're in a spot where the judge is a hard ass, I agree with Kaylee: Find the biggest guy in the yard and kick him squrely in the nuts.

 

[JBHawkEye]

If the cops didn't show up to pick you up, you're probably in pretty good shape.

When I was on jury duty, there were people who missed and got one strike. The second time, sheriff's deputies went to pick them up.

The thing that got me was there was a cop on jury duty who asked out because a.) he had afternoon shooting range training and he worked nights and b.) well, he was a cop. He was told no, but the woman who said she couldn't serve because she had a vacation trip planned was excused.

I got excuse one week because the juco baseball tournament I was supposed to be covering got pushed back a day because of rain, and the championship game was on a day when I was supposed to report for jury selection. Judge gave me a break because I had been there for the four previous selections (it used to be in our area if you were selected, you were on call for three months).

 

[Double J]

Am I completely ****ed, like looking at jail time or anything? Did I just **** my life up for good with a criminal record? I'm starting to think this might be it for me -- is it?

 

[bubbler.exe]

If there's some hack you don't like, put some sort of accelerent in his light bulb. That **** worked good in the Longest Yard.

And don't watch any episodes of Oz, just steer clear, you don't need to be force-fed poop.

Ironically, our beloved Oz is one of the few to give you some real advice.

 

[pallister]

Soda cans in a pillowcase.

 

[Double J]

If you drop the soap, just leave it on the floor.

 

[tyler durden 71351]

If you're not tough enough to win a jail yard fight, just act real crazy. Stop showering, go around talking to yourself, pick your nose and eat it. Yeah, it's nasty, but it beats being the bride in a jailhouse wedding.