Golf for the rank beginner

[CitizenTino]

I can't emphasize the whole "keep up your pace on the course" mantra enough. I'm a bad golfer. I break 100 once a year. But you can damn well better believe that as long as I'm not being held up by the group in front of me, I'm going to get around the course 3 1/2 hours.

I admit, I'm not the most patient person to begin with, but nothing is as infuriating as watching:

- The guy who keeps taking practice swings before every shot until he gets one that doesn't take a 3-inch divot out of the fairway. Hint: If it takes you nine swings to get it right, there is no chance in hell you're going to do it right a second time in a row once you finally address the ball. Take a swing or two to get the feel of the club, and then hit the damn ball. You're not playing the back nine at Augusta on Sunday afternoon here.

- The guy who feels every shot that lands in the rough is an excuse to go looking for balls at the edge of the woods. It's bad enough when people take forever searching for their own ball, but when you start treating a walk up the fairway like an Easter egg hunt, you're a d-bag.

Too many golfers think not being good is an excuse for taking all damn day to play. Pace of play and quality of play are two distinctly different subjects. You can be a total hack and not hold up everybody playing behind you. A round of golf should never take 5 1/2 hours to complete.

 

[JR]

Too many golfers think not being good is an excuse for taking all damn day to play. Pace of play and quality of play are two distinctly different subjects. You can be a total hack and not hold up everybody playing behind you. A round of golf should never take 5 1/2 hours to complete.

Bingo. We have a winner.

I pretty much gave up golf around here because of the 5-6 hour rounds.

When we were teenagers, my buddy and I routinely played 36 holes. Off at 8:00 a.m., finish by 11:30 or so. Have lunch, second round over by 4:30.

And this was a 6500 yard course and we walked and carried. No carts of any kind.

 

[Oggiedoggie]

golf is insanely easy

Especially if you can do that "See the ball ... Be the ball" thing.

 

[EE94]

Too many golfers think not being good is an excuse for taking all damn day to play. Pace of play and quality of play are two distinctly different subjects. You can be a total hack and not hold up everybody playing behind you. A round of golf should never take 5 1/2 hours to complete.

Bingo. We have a winner.

I pretty much gave up golf around here because of the 5-6 hour rounds.

When we were teenagers, my buddy and I routinely played 36 holes. Off at 8:00 a.m., finish by 11:30 or so. Have lunch, second round over by 4:30.

And this was a 6500 yard course and we walked and carried. No carts of any kind.

 

[Wenders]

Finally, and this is important: DON'T WEAR JEANS or, God forbid, cutoffs.

Depends on the club you're going to. Country clubs and upscale places will frown on that. Public courses is free game.

Also, on behalf of my father, mother and every other golf course superintendent in the world, replace your divots and fix your ballmarks on the greens. It will keep the course looking nice for years (less damage to the grass) and makes the people who make it green happy.

 

[cranberry]

Finally, and this is important: DON'T WEAR JEANS or, God forbid, cutoffs.

Depends on the club you're going to. Country clubs and upscale places will frown on that. Public courses is free game.

It's NEVER OK to wear jeans or cut-offs on a golf course.

 

[dixiehack]

Second verse.

Go back to the same place today. This time I get a 3 wood and a 5 iron. Attempt to switch to the iron after a half-dozen balls and realize it's for a lefty. Fortunately, someone had deserted a 9 iron nearby, so I grabbed that instead.

Midway through the bucket, it has become apparent what the strength of my game is. I can make some world class divots, both while making solid contact and missing entirely. I'm on a patch of dirt with precious little grass as is, but the ownership now has a field suitable for planting cotton if they don't mind getting a late start on the crop. I have been the yard with an actual shovel before and turned over less dirt. Alas, I don't seem to be making much progress on moving the little white balls down the course.

At that point, the owner comes out, introduces himself, and offers a quick freebie lesson, possibly to keep me from going Agent Orange on what remains of his tee boxes. Just little things like putting my right hand on the bottom of the club, since I'm right-handed and all, and trying to turn my body as I swing instead having my arms do all the work. Just like it says in the title, we're talking rank beginner here. I didn't necessarily do a lot better after that (not unexpected), but I did make decent contact with the iron on two shots that at least had respectable trajectories.

 

[Boom_70]

Finally, and this is important: DON'T WEAR JEANS or, God forbid, cutoffs.

Depends on the club you're going to. Country clubs and upscale places will frown on that. Public courses is free game.

It's NEVER OK to wear jeans or cut-offs on a golf course.

I feel the same about "mulligans" - never ok on the golf course. Every stroke counts. Mulligans become like crack to bad golfers. Just keep it simple - don't accept them. Once you do you will want another and another and find a way to rationalize that its ok. Take a mulligan on a par 3 and knock it in the cup - its not a hole n one - its a three.

 

[Sam Mills 51]

Finally, and this is important: DON'T WEAR JEANS or, God forbid, cutoffs.

Depends on the club you're going to. Country clubs and upscale places will frown on that. Public courses is free game.

Also, on behalf of my father, mother and every other golf course superintendent in the world, replace your divots and fix your ballmarks on the greens. It will keep the course looking nice for years (less damage to the grass) and makes the people who make it green happy.

1) Replace your divots
2) Fix ballmarks on the greens
3) Rake the bunker after use

Can't tell you how many times I fixed a half-dozen marks on a green. Also, people who make no attempt to replace their divots and don't rake bunkers should be kicked off the course - immediately. It requires minimal skill, and it's not much effort. Put it like this ... would you want to hit out of a fried-egg lie in the bunker because some lazy numbskull didn't rake it ahead of you? Or just as bad, hit out of a divot hole in the fairway after mashing that drive waaaay down there?

Yeah, me neither.

 

[playthrough]

Too many golfers think not being good is an excuse for taking all damn day to play. Pace of play and quality of play are two distinctly different subjects. You can be a total hack and not hold up everybody playing behind you. A round of golf should never take 5 1/2 hours to complete.

Bingo. We have a winner.

I pretty much gave up golf around here because of the 5-6 hour rounds.

When we were teenagers, my buddy and I routinely played 36 holes. Off at 8:00 a.m., finish by 11:30 or so. Have lunch, second round over by 4:30.

And this was a 6500 yard course and we walked and carried. No carts of any kind.

Isn't it remarkable how carts haven't done a darn thing to speed up play?

I'll admit, I'm a walking-golf snob. Hate riding. I'll get some cross looks on the first tee when I'm paired with guys in carts, but on a packed weekend they quickly find out it doesn't make a bit of difference that I'm walking.

 

[Rough Mix]

Can we define what "cut-offs" are. I'm guessing jeans that have been cut off..stupid question, I know..

 

[zebracoy]

I began playing golf casually about three and a half years ago now. I was always afraid to never get on a real course and just stick to par threes and the driving range for fear of pissing people off who were behind me.

But on many an occasion, I got in front of people who were just as bad as I was. That par five that took me about 15 strokes took the guy behind me 17. That kind of calmed me down quite a bit, too, especially because when you play at ****ty courses, that's the kind of clientele that the place draws.

Then again, I've also let my fair share of people play through while I've shanked away many a shot worry about what they're thinking.

Fact of the matter is that other people suck at golfing too. Just be respectful, be honest with yourself and others and it'll be a grand old time.

 

[Boom_70]

I began playing golf casually about three and a half years ago now. I was always afraid to never get on a real course and just stick to par threes and the driving range for fear of pissing people off who were behind me.

But on many an occasion, I got in front of people who were just as bad as I was. That par five that took me about 15 strokes took the guy behind me 17. That kind of calmed me down quite a bit, too, especially because when you play at ****ty courses, that's the kind of clientele that the place draws.

Then again, I've also let my fair share of people play through while I've shanked away many a shot worry about what they're thinking.

Fact of the matter is that other people suck at golfing too. Just be respectful, be honest with yourself and others and it'll be a grand old time.

Dude - 15 stokes ???? If I was playing behind you I would come up to next tee and beat you over the head with my driver and plead temporary insanity.

You need to pick up after 8 strokes and move on unless you are playing Wii golf in the comfort of your living room.

 

[zebracoy]

Dude - 15 stokes ???? If I was playing behind you I would come up to next tee and beat you over the head with my driver and plead temporary insanity.

You need to pick up after 8 strokes and move on unless you are playing Wii golf in the comfort of your living room.

Well, I'm referring to my first time out on the course. 'Twas a disaster.

Things are much more smooth now - though they still could be better.

 

[Boom_70]

Dude - 15 stokes ???? If I was playing behind you I would come up to next tee and beat you over the head with my driver and plead temporary insanity.

You need to pick up after 8 strokes and move on unless you are playing Wii golf in the comfort of your living room.

Well, I'm referring to my first time out on the course. 'Twas a disaster.

Things are much more smooth now - though they still could be better.

ok then keep your head down and carry on.

 

[slappy4428]

Dude - 15 stokes ???? If I was playing behind you I would come up to next tee and beat you over the head with my driver and plead temporary insanity.

You need to pick up after 8 strokes and move on unless you are playing Wii golf in the comfort of your living room.

Well, I'm referring to my first time out on the course. 'Twas a disaster.

Things are much more smooth now - though they still could be better.

15? I would put an ice pick through your temple.

 

[Boom_70]

Dude - 15 stokes ???? If I was playing behind you I would come up to next tee and beat you over the head with my driver and plead temporary insanity.

You need to pick up after 8 strokes and move on unless you are playing Wii golf in the comfort of your living room.

Well, I'm referring to my first time out on the course. 'Twas a disaster.

Things are much more smooth now - though they still could be better.

15? I would put an ice pick through your temple.

Why do you carry an ice pick in your golf bag?

 

[2muchcoffeeman]

The correct answer, of course, is "ball mark repair."

 

[Boom_70]

The correct answer, of course, is "ball mark repair."

I was thinking emergency green aeration.

 

[slappy4428]

The correct answer, of course, is "ball mark repair."

I was thinking emergency green aeration.

2 is right...