God wants you to have sex

[Bubbler]

I stole the headline. It was too good not to reuse.

http://www.sptimes.com/2008/02/15/Life/God_wants_you_to_have.shtml

An openly edgy Christian church in Ybor City is launching what they're calling a 30-Day Sex Challenge to help members improve their relationships and rediscover themselves.

Single folks are to abstain from sex for 30 days, even if they are in a committed relationship. Married folks, on the other hand, are supposed to have sex every day for 30 days.

Leaders at Relevant Church, which meets at the Italian Club on Seventh Avenue, will launch the campaign Sunday, fresh off Valentine's Day.

Already, it's gaining attention.

"Of course, all the guys say it's genius," said Pastor Paul Wirth. "The married women think we're out of our minds."

This puts a whole new spin on WWJD? And the Advent calendar industry could have a field day too.

Day 1: Missionary
Day 2: Woman on top
Day 3: From behind
Day 4: Side-to-side
Day 5: Cinco de Dirty Sanchez!
Day 6: Female pot luck: let her pick! (only valid if consummation occurs)
Day 7: Bathtub sex
Day 8: Yard sex
Day 9: Male pot luck: let him pick! (valid once consummation occurs once)
Day 10: "Jesus Didn't Just Make That Mouth For Talking Day": The Gregorian Solemnity Of Oral Sex
Day 11: Car sex
Day 12: Trunk sex
Day 13: Hood of the car sex
Day 14: Hood of the trunk sex
Day 15: Alcohol pot luck: let your partner pick the alcohol and go from there.
Day 16: Why Did God Make Me This Way? Day: God loves the human rectum as much as any other part of you. Make sure you give it the love it deserves.
Day 17: Repudiation Of Tantra Day: Some godless Hindus believe sex can be more stimulating by not having a physical orgasm. Prove them wrong by finishing on your partners' grill like she's a Krispy Kreme donut and you're the glaze.
Day 18: Caught In The Act Day: Truly prove your love of Jesus by getting caught in an unorthodox place.
Day 19: Roof sex.
Day 20: Garage sex.
Day 21: Tree sex.
Day 22: Street sex.
Day 23: Office sex (only valid during business hours)
Day 24: Pina Colada Song Pot Luck: Try to set up the scenario from Pina Colada Song via your local online dating service and try to pick the "right" personals. You might never know you both share a desire to pee on each other.
Day 25: Wake The Neighbors Day. Find the window nearest to your neighbor's house and wail like your neighborhood cats! Even better if your neighbor is single.
Day 26: Get Caught By Your Kids Day. Strategically engage in sexual act near PlayStation or PC. Marriage is a holy act. Getting caught in the holy act of ATM is a more Godly example for your children than purchasing Grand Theft Auto.
Day 27: Porn Shop Pot Luck: Blindfold your partner and whatever sexual device they find is what you do ... in the peep show booth.
Day 28: "Accidental" Fantasy Day: Oops! Sorry dear, I didn't know you wouldn't be turned on by my 14-inch ribbed strap-on. Oh well, while we're here ...
Day 29: Virgin Mary Appreciation Day. Try to conceive a child while orgasming in an orafice not traditionally known for reproduction.
Day 30: Do It In Church Day: Marriage is a sacrament, Jesus wants you to put the sack back in sacrament.

Yep, that's WJWD.

 

[KP]

Rafa in man-pris.

Not that man-pris would stop me, mind you. Hot regardless of what he's wearing.

And sadly for you, joe, I gave up alcohol for Lent ;)

Oh well.. there's always next year :D

Year? She'll be back on the bottle next month.

 

[ArnoldBabar]

To me, there's nothing hotter than a girl wearing a hockey sweater. Of course, if that girl is Sarah Chalke...well, let's just say I'd be very happy.

So I assume you've seen the University of Kentucky hockey schedules
http://www.ukhockey.com/posters.shtml

It's no coincidence that we haven't heard from HB since you posted that. God I miss Southern women.

And Bubbles, as usual, you bring it. I'm going to post that list over my marital bed.

 

[Cadet]

Bubbler, that was awesome. I hope you get laid just for coming up with that list.

 

[Ben_Hecht]

So does your doctor.

Want to do your personal best to ward off prostate trouble, in addition to adjusting your diet? Work it, baby, work it. The equipment keeps in better shape, with use.

 

[EStreetJoe]

Rafa in man-pris.

Not that man-pris would stop me, mind you. Hot regardless of what he's wearing.

And sadly for you, joe, I gave up alcohol for Lent ;)

Oh well.. there's always next year :D

Year? She'll be back on the bottle next month.

But I think the 30-days of sex thing only arrives once a year.

 

[EStreetJoe]

Bubbler, that was awesome. I hope you get laid just for coming up with that list.

I agree it was an awesome list.