Dennis DeYoung, outstanding pull except that I'm nowhere as good-looking or permed. That first year of college, especially that dorm floor, was hilarious for the number of crazy escapades and stories. Just off the top of my head (and I'm going back 46 years now) ...
The group stole a Christmas tree by having one guy distract the sales guy while the others grabbed one from the back of the tent and drove off in a pickup truck.
One guy brought a real chainsaw to an outside showing of "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" and started it up in the woods after the movie was over, scattering the crowd that was just leaving and causing the school police to lock down the dorms and search the area.
A group of guys went to an X-rated movie one night and Vern Shattuck, a 6-6, 260-pound Asian-American guy who shaved his head, snuck up behind a person in line to buy popcorn and goosed him on the ass, except it wasn't one of the guys from our dorm, which nearly set off a huge fight and required some serious apologizing.
George Sarkisian, a transfer student from the Canadian side of Niagara Falls, put a hockey puck through a sliding glass door while showing us his slap shot. It ricocheted off the brick wall at a weird angle and hit the door in such a way that it shattered. They replaced it with plywood.
Elson Armstrong, my long-time buddy in Durham, N.C., was arrested after getting caught stealing the Los Angeles Times papers from the vending machine every day and distributing them to everyone on the floor. He called his roommate for bail money, since he only brought one quarter to open the box, and eventually pleaded guilty to misdemeanor theft.
Elson and a kid named Terry (whose parents were killed the Tennerife 747 disaster later that year) had a "North Carolina vs. California Drinkoff Contest" who see which one could hold their liquor longer. Elson threw up on one of the foreign exchange students and Terry stayed on the floor of the bathroom for most of the next day.
I was sick and tired of getting bullied by a kid from Ridgecrest that we all called "Radar" (because he looked like the M*A*S*H character), so one morning while he was mouthing off about something, I casually picked up the entire Sunday section of the Times and whacked him across the face in front of everybody in the community room, knocking him out cold.
The Supercomputer got a lot of respect after that.