Do I have to quit?

[dieditor]

My job is how I fund my life. It's not my life. My family comes comes first.

This is EXACTLY how I feel about it. I was engaged to a woman with two little boys. God I loved those kids. They were like my kids, and I learned real quickly that it sucked to miss their school programs, Little League games, etc. because you were covering something else or stuck laying out pages. One of the major reasons we split up was because my schedule made it impossible to have any kind of normal life.

When I met my new Mrs., I swore I'd never make the same mistake again. Found a job with a small business that pays the bills and gives me some time off. Wouldn't look back at all. At least now I know when we have kids I'll know who they are, and they'll know who I am. I respect people who love the grind and consider it a calling, but that's not for me. There's 168 hours in a week, and I'll be damned if I'm going to spend half of them working.

Ever have someone say, "But, they're not YOUR kids" to justify why it shouldn't be as important to you as working? I have. I got a couple of nasty looks once when I said, "I work to live. Not the other way around." I still stand by that.

I constantly heard that. God that pissed me off.

 

[RickStain]

My last boss was very pissed off that I wasn't excited about trudging through a blizzard to get to work. I did it, but apparently I was supposed to be excited about it because that's what being a journalist is all about.

 

[JackReacher]

I used to be one of those who thought "Man. This job is pretty sweet. I can't imagine ever wanting to do something else."

Then, I realized I value my life away from work way more than my life at work. Hell, the only time my wife and I could actually go out and do something together was Saturday and Sunday nights. Throw kids into the mix? No thanks.

I also came to realize that not every job outside of journalism sucks. That helped.

 

[Dick Whitman]

For those who don't have children yet, just to let you know, as wonderful as they are, holy **** are they difficult. If you think that it will be no thang to balance weird hours, a working spouse, and a toddler or two, think again. Not saying you should quit the job. Just letting you know that things change, and they change monumentally.

 

[RickStain]

For those who don't have children yet, just to let you know, as wonderful as they are, holy **** are they difficult. If you think that it will be no thang to balance weird hours, a working spouse, and a toddler or two, think again. Not saying you should quit the job. Just letting you know that things change, and they change monumentally.

You can know in your head, but you can't really feel the impact of it until you have one and suddenly realize that one of you has to be home 24/7, or you have to make arrangements ahead of time.

 

[JackReacher]

I had possession of my two nephews (ages 5 and 3) for less than two hours last weekend after the 5-year-old's T-Ball game. My wife and I took them for burgers and fries after the game and drove them home.

Oy. Felt like 8 hours.

 

[Dick Whitman]

For those who don't have children yet, just to let you know, as wonderful as they are, holy **** are they difficult. If you think that it will be no thang to balance weird hours, a working spouse, and a toddler or two, think again. Not saying you should quit the job. Just letting you know that things change, and they change monumentally.

You can know in your head, but you can't really feel the impact of it until you have one and suddenly realize that one of you has to be home 24/7, or you have to make arrangements ahead of time.

The craziest thing is having to ask permission to take the garbage down or take a **** to make sure everything is covered.

"Honey, is it OK if I take a dump right now? Great! Thanks!"

 

[Bamadog]

Back when I was a young pup, my former boss, who is on the board, asked me which did I love more, the wife or the work. I said, the work. Crazy, I know.

He strongly advised me to get my priorities in order. I got divorced a few months later.


I'm on the cusp of marriage No. 2, but I agree with our production chief here about priorities:
"Like your job, love your wife."

Sounds good to me. This is a job. I enjoy it, but it's a job. It's not my life. Nor should it be your all-consuming passion. Going home alone every night sucks.

 

[Big Circus]

It's clear from your post that you love your job more than your wife/girlfriends. So you need to make that work for you and not stress over it being an either/or thing.

Exactly. While working in the salt mine may not be the ideal situation, intentionally taking a job you absolutely hate because you have the burden of a ball and chain, mortgage and children to support, well that just sounds like hell.

Beadie not treating you well?

 

[Sam Mills 51]

You don't have to quit. You have choices, but the grass isn't always greener on the other side.

To listen to some here, finding anything is better than journalism ... pays better, better hours, better supervisors. Not necessarily so.

If possible, look before leaping. Life after journalism has worked for many, but not all. And, by all means, if you think she's worth it, leap. If given a good personal situation and support system, I would. And I'm a loner by nature.

I had possession of my two nephews (ages 5 and 3) for less than two hours last weekend after the 5-year-old's T-Ball game. My wife and I took them for burgers and fries after the game and drove them home.

Oy. Felt like 8 hours.

Those poor kids. Were you yourself by failing to dominate a crabcake sandwich in their presence? :D

 

[crimsonace]

Two pieces of advice a former colleague in an education class (we were all adults already in careers seeking to get teachers' licenses) said has stuck with me a lot, because I was once one of those dyed-in-the-wool "I can't imagine doing anything else" people.

1. You are replaceable.
2. The company does not love you. You do not need to love it.

Your family loves you. Your company does not. Priority -- family, business. You work to help yourself put food on the table and a roof over the heads of people you love, and because you spend about 1/3 of your waking hours doing it, you better be doing something you enjoy. But when push comes to shove, your family is most important.

I got out of full-time journalism for my family, and it's the best decision I've ever made. I work normal hours, I have (at least for now) a stable salary and I can still freelance to my heart's content. Even have had the chance to start my own small business on the side.

 

[JackReacher]

Burgers, Sam. BURGERS!!!

And yes, I finished it! :)

 

[Sam Mills 51]

Burgers, Sam. BURGERS!!!

And yes, I finished it! :)

Good for you, Ryan. Lest we need BYH's photo to prove your failure on the seafood side ... :D :)

 

[Mizzougrad96]

I got to the point in my life that I would much rather watch my kid play T-ball than go to the Super Bowl or the Final Four.

I'm glad to be there...

 

[Stitch]

I want to hear Det. Jimmy McNulty's thoughts on a wide variety of issues.

 

[Mizzougrad96]

I want to hear Det. Jimmy McNulty's thoughts on a wide variety of issues.

Probably something like "******* ain't **** but hos and tricks..." :D

 

[User 1019]

I used to be one of those who thought "Man. This job is pretty sweet. I can't imagine ever wanting to do something else."

Then, I realized I value my life away from work way more than my life at work. Hell, the only time my wife and I could actually go out and do something together was Saturday and Sunday nights. Throw kids into the mix? No thanks.

I also came to realize that not every job outside of journalism sucks. That helped.

We don't agree on a lot, but I couldn't agree with you more on this one.

 

[BitterYoungMatador2]

My job is how I fund my life. It's not my life. My family comes comes first.

This is EXACTLY how I feel about it. I was engaged to a woman with two little boys. God I loved those kids. They were like my kids, and I learned real quickly that it sucked to miss their school programs, Little League games, etc. because you were covering something else or stuck laying out pages. One of the major reasons we split up was because my schedule made it impossible to have any kind of normal life.

When I met my new Mrs., I swore I'd never make the same mistake again. Found a job with a small business that pays the bills and gives me some time off. Wouldn't look back at all. At least now I know when we have kids I'll know who they are, and they'll know who I am. I respect people who love the grind and consider it a calling, but that's not for me. There's 168 hours in a week, and I'll be damned if I'm going to spend half of them working.

Ever have someone say, "But, they're not YOUR kids" to justify why it shouldn't be as important to you as working? I have. I got a couple of nasty looks once when I said, "I work to live. Not the other way around." I still stand by that.

I constantly heard that. God that pissed me off.

I figured and...I figured. Nothing better than the newsroom big mouth telling you what should be your priority. Journalism's can many times be the ultimate trainwreck relationship. Even when you attempt to maintain a positive attitude you're brought down by the negative attitudes of others, which are usually prevalent.

 

[Ace]

I want to hear Det. Jimmy McNulty's thoughts on a wide variety broad range of issues.

 

[NickMordo]

My job is how I fund my life. It's not my life. My family comes comes first.

This is EXACTLY how I feel about it. I was engaged to a woman with two little boys. God I loved those kids. They were like my kids, and I learned real quickly that it sucked to miss their school programs, Little League games, etc. because you were covering something else or stuck laying out pages. One of the major reasons we split up was because my schedule made it impossible to have any kind of normal life.

When I met my new Mrs., I swore I'd never make the same mistake again. Found a job with a small business that pays the bills and gives me some time off. Wouldn't look back at all. At least now I know when we have kids I'll know who they are, and they'll know who I am. I respect people who love the grind and consider it a calling, but that's not for me. There's 168 hours in a week, and I'll be damned if I'm going to spend half of them working.

My girlfriend of four year -- my college sweetheart, if you will -- is very fearful of this happening (and so am I). I don't want my dream job to be the end of something which means more to me than anything, and that is my relationship. I love her to death, she just got a "real" job at a media company and now I'm the one freelancing and trying to save some dough for (hopefully) our future. It worries me every day...