You can't make this up: Portland "MJ lookalike" man suing Jordan

[Piotr Rasputin]

Honestly.

http://msn.foxsports.com/nba/story/5766288?FSO1&ATT=HMA

Words fail me.

"What made Heckard decide to file suit against Jordan and Knight for $416 million each?

"Well, you figure with my age and you multiply that times seven and then I turn around and I figure that's what it all boils down to."

Hilarious.

 

[Chi City 81]

This man deserves to die of gonorrhea and rot in Hell. I can't emphasize that strongly enough.

 

[PEteacher]

That's absolutely hilarious.

 

[Pastor]

This man deserves to die of gonorrhea and rot in Hell. I can't emphasize that strongly enough.

You do realize that this will not see one day in court, right? It will be thrown out and the man will probably have to pay fines equalling Knight's and Jordan's lawyer fees as well as court costs.

 

[markvid]

Ok, I hate to take this tangent, but...
Why, oh, why, oh, why do lunatics like this get any coverage at all?

 

[Songbird]

This is all soccer's fault. All of it.

 

[2muchcoffeeman]

Not true.

This is clearly the media's fault.

 

[Bob Cook]

Meanwhile, a guy in Chicago who looks like Sam Bowie is suing him.

 

[Columbo]

Meanwhile, he looks more like Lou Gossett Jr. than MJ.

And I don't see any horns.

 

[KYSportsWriter]

So, he's tired of being "accused" of being MJ? I'd think that was a compliment, not something to cause emotional suffering. What a dumbass.

 

[Starman]

Just for deterrent effect, Jordan should file a massive countersuit.

I'd also sic a squadron of PI's on this guy, find out if ever once in his life did he go along willingly with being confused with Jordan, and sue his ass to kingdom come as a result.

Of course, Jordan would be absolutely demolished in the media as a gorilla squashing a mosquito, but you know what? Sometimes gorillas have to squash mosquitos.

 

[MU_was_not_so_hard]

This guy needs to turn this into a promising career. He could get free drinks, sleep with lots of hot (but dumb) women, etc.
Instead, he says things like this:
"Even when I go to the gym I'm being accused of playing ball like him (Jordan)," Heckard said.

 

[tyler durden 71351]

It's cases like that where the judge needs to toss the suit out of court, then slap a massive fine on the guy for filing a dumb lawsuit....that will discourage some of those lunatics and bums who just want to get an out of court settlement.
Jordan and Nike ought to countersue this fool for filing a stupid lawsuit.

 

[Hank_Scorpio]

Odds are Jordan probably doesn't know about this lawsuit. And Nike's and Jordan's lawyers can't stop laughing because they realize how easy it will be to stop this one.

 

[expendable]

This guy needs to turn this into a promising career. He could get free drinks, sleep with lots of hot (but dumb) women, etc.
Instead, he says things like this:
"Even when I go to the gym I'm being accused of playing ball like him (Jordan)," Heckard said.

He could be like Gallagher II, and go on the road as MJII.

 

[BTExpress]

Just my luck. I look like Harry Potter.

Who the hell am I gonna sue, J.K. Rowling?

 

[Lion_Woods]

Just my luck. I look like Harry Potter.

Who the hell am I gonna sue, J.K. Rowling?

Maybe Kirk Hinrich?

 

[markvid]

Just for deterrent effect, Jordan should file a massive countersuit.

I'd also sic a squadron of PI's on this guy, find out if ever once in his life did he go along willingly with being confused with Jordan, and sue his ass to kingdom come as a result.

Of course, Jordan would be absolutely demolished in the media as a gorilla squashing a mosquito, but you know what? Sometimes gorillas have to squash mosquitos.

In this case, MJ needs to be the windshield, and this douchenozzle needs to be the bug.

 

[Chuck~Taylor]

 

[Idaho]

Dear Uma Thurman,

Let's just avoid any negative publicity and nasty court time. Just send Doc Idaho a check for $200 million and we'll forget all this unpleasentness caused by you looking like her.

Thanks,
Mr. Dr. Uma Idaho