Worst Movie You Ever Paid to See

[garrow]

Mine has to be the infamous Rob Reiner film "North," one of Roger Ebert's most hated movies. I was on a date in high school.

Dishonorable mentions:
Toys
First Knight
The Postman
Vanilla Sky

 

[Songbird]

Love Actually
Superbad

 

[TheSportsPredictor]

Ernest Goes to Camp.

Chose it over Beverly Hills Cop 2

-30-

 

[User 150927]

Signs

 

[outofplace]

The Punisher. This was the one with Thomas Jane in the title role. Mrs. OOP and I nearly walked out.

 

[Chet the Jet]

Monuments men

 

[3_Octave_Fart]

^ That movie was a complete pile of dung.

-The Crush (1993)
-Knowing (2009)
-300 (2007)

 

[JakeandElwood]

Paranormal Activity.

 

[PCLoadLetter]

Spaceballs.

Somehow people have come to view it as a classic. I went with a buddy and we were both huge Mel Brooks fans. After an hour I was begging him to leave and he kept saying "It's got to get funny at some point."

Spoiler: it didn't.

Honorable mention to the original Red Dawn. It was part of a double bill at a drive-in and we bailed midway through.

 

[Shropshire Slasher]

Spaceballs.

Somehow people have come to view it as a classic. I went with a buddy and we were both huge Mel Brooks fans. After an hour I was begging him to leave and he kept saying "It's got to get funny at some point."

Spoiler: it didn't.

So you said "Check please!"

 

[OscarMadison]

Transylvania 6-5000*
Lair of the White Worm**
Lake House***
Mousehunt****
My Favorite Martian****
Whatever that Polish Wedding Posing As A Star Wars Movie Was Called That Had Jar Jar Binks*****
The Next Movie After That Which Also Featured Jar Jar Binks*****
Batman Something Something I think Arnold Schwartzenegger was in it. Ahdunno.******

*I went because my best gay boyfriend had a crush on Jeff Goldblum. Everyone onscreen looked like they wished they were somewhere else. I kept waiting for it to get better. It never did.
** I went with my priest to see The Last Temptation of Christ. There was a poster for this abomination. We thought it would be campy fun. No.
*** I took my friend's mother who loved her some Keanu. When he cried, I was ready to join him.
**** This is what happens when you share custody of a small child (my nephew) in the 90s.
***** This is what happens when you share custody of a small child (my nephew) in the 90s. Note: I made the mistake of telling him Obi-Wan Kenobi and Qi Gong Badoobiedoobie were pretty and made me happy. He made sure that I was only taking him to the second movie because it was the greatest thing EVAR! I could not go just to look at boys.
****** This is what happens when you share custody of a small child (my nephew) in the 90s. The couple next to me offered to share their blunt with me when they realized I was yet another adult trapped in what was a two-hour toy commercial. Nothing against it or anyone who does it, but I'm weird enough without engaging in recreational chemical impairment. I am still haunted by how much trauma I could have spared myself if I'd gone that one toke over the line.

 

[Splendid Splinter]

The General’s Daughter - fell asleep.

 

[HoopsterG]

The Men Who Stare At Goats

 

[OscarMadison]

The Men Who Stare At Goats

Yikes. Have that in my queue. Is it that bad or just not worth the price of admission?

 

[FileNotFound]

* Two Moon Junction (not a date movie, as it turned out)
* My then-wife and I walked out of Slumdog Millionaire. I’m told it was a great movie, but neither of us could handle the first few minutes of it.

 

[HoopsterG]

Yikes. Have that in my queue. Is it that bad or just not worth the price of admission?

Oscar -- It was that bad. It made no sense to me and was just terrible. This is definitely no Michael Clayton, which is highly underrated, for George Clooney.

 

[Regan MacNeil]

The Matthew Broderick Godzilla.

 

[Regan MacNeil]

"I waited the whole movie for him to talk, but he never did. 'Seabiscuit' gets one star."

 

[Batman]

Not in a theater, but an on-demand selection at home -- Rubber.
I could write a 5,000-word diatribe why I hate this movie with the passion of a thousand suns, and maybe I have on here before. It's the 2010 indie movie about a killer tire. The movie's trailer makes it seem like a quirky, fun, stupid semi-horror movie about a sentient tire with telekinetic powers terrorizing a small town. If that was what we got, I might have enjoyed it. Instead, we got 82 minutes of the worst piece of **** ever committed to film. The first 5 minutes is a fun little monologue. The next 20 are of -- I **** you not -- a tire rolling across the desert. Not blowing stuff up. Not the backstory of how it became sentient or got its superpowers. Just a tire. Rolling across the desert. For 20. ****ing. Minutes.
And it just gets worse from there.
What really pushed it over the top, though, was that the douchey French director pops up on screen every so often to break the fourth wall and, essentially, chastise you for paying $8 to see his ****ty movie and expecting you to be entertained. Quentin Dupieux. If I ever see him, it will be well worth the international incident to kick him in the balls. Why? For no reason.
This movie came out right around the same time as Human Centipede, which I also watched. I'd rather be the fifth segment of the human centipede in a live-action remake of that actually decent movie than have to watch Rubber again.

 

[outofplace]

I forgot one earlier, and actually, it was worse than the Thomas Jane version of The Punisher.

Welcome to Marwen was utterly and completely boring.