What makes a good lede?

[Jeff Wallner]

The 3 things I was always taught to never write in a lede is..

A) Never start the story with a question--- The reader wants answers. They don't want to answer questions.

B) Never write in second person--- bad style

C) Never start your lede with a quote--- unless the quote is, "The world will end on Sunday," God said.

Agree, never start the story with a question. But, I think it's a good idea to use the lede to create questions in the reader's mind, motivating them to search the story for more information.

Also agree, brevity is key. Some of the most effective ledes I've read have been one sentence.

 

[Fudgie the Whale]

Always, always, always use a pop culture reference in your ledes.

 

[Batman]

I'm from the "never say never" school. The lede for the allergies story was written in second person. It worked for that story.

well...I'd like to read that lede.

This was a story about allergists seeing more people coming their way in Maryland:

"If you could stop rubbing your itchy, watery eyes for one second, put down the tissue and look around, you'd see an increasing number of sneezing, sniffling sad sacks just like you."

Maybe I'm not the one to criticize ledes, but I don't like it either. Almost feels like the writer is fussing at me for sneezing. I'm sure it worked for that story, and it catches you, but perhaps not for the reasons the writer intended.

 

[John]

Always reference the most recent holiday.

 

[mustangj17]

The 3 things I was always taught to never write in a lede is..

A) Never start the story with a question--- The reader wants answers. They don't want to answer questions.

B) Never write in second person--- bad style

C) Never start your lede with a quote--- unless the quote is, "The world will end on Sunday," God said.

Unless you work for Foxsports.com. One of their columnists always starts ledes with questions. It makes me want to call Foxsports.com and complain.

 

[mustangj17]

I'm from the "never say never" school. The lede for the allergies story was written in second person. It worked for that story.

well...I'd like to read that lede.

This was a story about allergists seeing more people coming their way in Maryland:

"If you could stop rubbing your itchy, watery eyes for one second, put down the tissue and look around, you'd see an increasing number of sneezing, sniffling sad sacks just like you."

Maybe I'm not the one to criticize ledes, but I don't like it either. Almost feels like the writer is fussing at me for sneezing. I'm sure it worked for that story, and it catches you, but perhaps not for the reasons the writer intended.

Not my favorite lede of all-time but the phrase "sniffling sad sacks" is golden.

 

[93Devil]

You know, I did what I do not like.

Last night, yesterday or tomorrow drive me crazy. Just type the day it happened.

If I pick up a day or two old paper, I don't like trying to figure out in my head when the game was played.

 

[Batman]

You know, I did what I do not like.

Last night, yesterday or tomorrow drive me crazy. Just type the day it happened.

If I pick up a day or two old paper, I don't like trying to figure out in my head when the game was played.

Isn't AP style to use today/tonight/this morning, etc., and then whatever day for everything else? That's what our paper does, unless it's a quote or something. Figured it was pretty standard.

 

[93Devil]

You know, I did what I do not like.

Last night, yesterday or tomorrow drive me crazy. Just type the day it happened.

If I pick up a day or two old paper, I don't like trying to figure out in my head when the game was played.

Isn't AP style to use today/tonight/this morning, etc., and then whatever day for everything else? That's what our paper does, unless it's a quote or something. Figured it was pretty standard.

Just my personal preference.

If I look up a story online about Duke/UNC, it just drives me a little crazy always reading last night or yesterday even though the game was played weeks ago.

 

[Batman]

I'm from the "never say never" school. The lede for the allergies story was written in second person. It worked for that story.

Back on the topic of using second person for a second, I also think it can work in certain cases. Forever's lede worked on some level, if for no other reason than to grab the reader by the shirt collar and raise an eyebrow. That's effective.
At the risk of another skewering, I had one a couple years ago that I thought came out well. It's from a story about a basketball player who was averaging close to 30 points a game. His dad had been a big star in this town in his day, had played in the NBA for a couple years, and his son was basically raised with a basketball in his hand. I tried to take the lede from the point of view of a guy trying to guard him, and failing miserably.
It's a little long, but it's from a three-dumper, 50-inch feature story so keep that in mind...

It's got to be the hands.
Those quick hands, those magician's hands, that make slight, almost imperceptible moves. The ones that make you think you saw something you didn't, that make you hesitate for just a split second, until you realize it might not be the hands at all.
Maybe it's the feet.
You noticed them earlier, as this tall, skinny kid named Jimmy Rottencrotch was elevating over you and shooting a jumper in your face. So you back off, and now he's using those same feet to blow past you. As you see the zero on the back of his jersey fling itself into three of your teammates, though, you realize something else -- it's not just the physical gifts. The guy's got heart.
And as the referee's whistle echoes in your ears, you see him high-fiving his teammates and strolling to the foul line to add another point to his total, it all comes together. You haven't just been outplayed, you've been outsmarted. You and your teammates have done everything he's wanted you to, been at his mercy this whole time.
So you shrug your shoulders, manage an admiring smile and trudge back down the court. Trying to guard this guy is impossible, you think, but there's always hope. Maybe next time he'll make a mistake or miss.
But he doesn't.

 

[John]

I'd back off because Rottencrotch's crotch was in my face. Can't be too careful.

 

[mike311gd]

You know, I did what I do not like.

Last night, yesterday or tomorrow drive me crazy. Just type the day it happened.

If I pick up a day or two old paper, I don't like trying to figure out in my head when the game was played.

Isn't AP style to use today/tonight/this morning, etc., and then whatever day for everything else? That's what our paper does, unless it's a quote or something. Figured it was pretty standard.

Just my personal preference.

If I look up a story online about Duke/UNC, it just drives me a little crazy always reading last night or yesterday even though the game was played weeks ago.

A lot of times, when you read that, it's because of a paper's style. I don't like it, either, but that's the way it goes sometimes.

 

[txscoop]

I'm from the "never say never" school. The lede for the allergies story was written in second person. It worked for that story.

Back on the topic of using second person for a second, I also think it can work in certain cases. Forever's lede worked on some level, if for no other reason than to grab the reader by the shirt collar and raise an eyebrow. That's effective.
At the risk of another skewering, I had one a couple years ago that I thought came out well. It's from a story about a basketball player who was averaging close to 30 points a game. His dad had been a big star in this town in his day, had played in the NBA for a couple years, and his son was basically raised with a basketball in his hand. I tried to take the lede from the point of view of a guy trying to guard him, and failing miserably.
It's a little long, but it's from a three-dumper, 50-inch feature story so keep that in mind...

It's got to be the hands.
Those quick hands, those magician's hands, that make slight, almost imperceptible moves. The ones that make you think you saw something you didn't, that make you hesitate for just a split second, until you realize it might not be the hands at all.
Maybe it's the feet.
You noticed them earlier, as this tall, skinny kid named Jimmy Rottencrotch was elevating over you and shooting a jumper in your face. So you back off, and now he's using those same feet to blow past you. As you see the zero on the back of his jersey fling itself into three of your teammates, though, you realize something else -- it's not just the physical gifts. The guy's got heart.
And as the referee's whistle echoes in your ears, you see him high-fiving his teammates and strolling to the foul line to add another point to his total, it all comes together. You haven't just been outplayed, you've been outsmarted. You and your teammates have done everything he's wanted you to, been at his mercy this whole time.
So you shrug your shoulders, manage an admiring smile and trudge back down the court. Trying to guard this guy is impossible, you think, but there's always hope. Maybe next time he'll make a mistake or miss.
But he doesn't.

Sorry...SECOND person doesn't work. It's terrible, terrible style.

 

[hockeybeat]

When I write, I look for something I can build on. Something almost imperceptible, unless you're really paying attention. And usually that becomes my lede.

 

[Grimace]

I'm from the "never say never" school. The lede for the allergies story was written in second person. It worked for that story.

Back on the topic of using second person for a second, I also think it can work in certain cases. Forever's lede worked on some level, if for no other reason than to grab the reader by the shirt collar and raise an eyebrow. That's effective.
At the risk of another skewering, I had one a couple years ago that I thought came out well. It's from a story about a basketball player who was averaging close to 30 points a game. His dad had been a big star in this town in his day, had played in the NBA for a couple years, and his son was basically raised with a basketball in his hand. I tried to take the lede from the point of view of a guy trying to guard him, and failing miserably.
It's a little long, but it's from a three-dumper, 50-inch feature story so keep that in mind...

It's got to be the hands.
Those quick hands, those magician's hands, that make slight, almost imperceptible moves. The ones that make you think you saw something you didn't, that make you hesitate for just a split second, until you realize it might not be the hands at all.
Maybe it's the feet.
You noticed them earlier, as this tall, skinny kid named Jimmy Rottencrotch was elevating over you and shooting a jumper in your face. So you back off, and now he's using those same feet to blow past you. As you see the zero on the back of his jersey fling itself into three of your teammates, though, you realize something else -- it's not just the physical gifts. The guy's got heart.
And as the referee's whistle echoes in your ears, you see him high-fiving his teammates and strolling to the foul line to add another point to his total, it all comes together. You haven't just been outplayed, you've been outsmarted. You and your teammates have done everything he's wanted you to, been at his mercy this whole time.
So you shrug your shoulders, manage an admiring smile and trudge back down the court. Trying to guard this guy is impossible, you think, but there's always hope. Maybe next time he'll make a mistake or miss.
But he doesn't.

That lede would make a good discussion group topic. I know lots of people (and lots of readers) who would think that was pretty cool way to start a story. At the same time, I can imagine lots of veteran editors/copy guys cringing.

Am I wrong to label that a younger generation type of lede? I don't know. No need to answer the question Batman, but would I be correct in guessing you're under 30?

Maybe I'm totally off base here and just ignore me. But the bottom line is, "Would the reader like this and keep reading?" I think probably yeah they would.

Here’s another question: Could you rewrite that lede without using the second person?

 

[txscoop]

The whole lede is a story he made up in his mind.
Batman...Are you the guy in the story that gets burned??? Probably not.
Batman....Did you talk to a player that has experienced getting burned?? Probably not.
My guess is you watched this kid make some good plays and you imagined what defenders were thinking.

You write ---"Maybe next time he'll make a mistake or miss.
But he doesn't."

Really??? the guy never misses.

Batman..I'm not trying to dog on you..I like your other ledes on the other posts. I just hate Second person.

 

[Rumpleforeskin]

In a gamer, I want to know what the main cause of the win/loss and the score within the first graf, if it fits.

In a feature, I want to know why I should continue reading and what makes that person's story different than the 1,000s of others I have/will read.

 

[93Devil]

The second person question is one of preference, but what I would like to know is how many column inches were used setting all of that up?

Some people really are space conscious. But some days, I know, there is tons of space to fill.

 

[Batman]

The whole lede is a story he made up in his mind.
Batman...Are you the guy in the story that gets burned??? Probably not.
Batman....Did you talk to a player that has experienced getting burned?? Probably not.
My guess is you watched this kid make some good plays and you imagined what defenders were thinking.

You write ---"Maybe next time he'll make a mistake or miss.
But he doesn't."

Really??? the guy never misses.

Batman..I'm not trying to dog on you..I like your other ledes on the other posts. I just hate Second person.

That was pretty much it, scoop. I was playing enough basketball (playground ball, sure, but still playing) back then to have an idea of what goes through your mind when you're guarding somebody tough. What you look for, what your reaction is when you realize somebody is just flat-out better than you and there's nothing you can do about it. Then, I tried to put the reader in those shoes.
And what actually gave me the idea for that lede was watching one of the kid's games. He was bringing the ball up the court, got about two steps past halfcourt, and absolutely juked a guy out of his shorts with a flick of the wrist (like he was going for a crossover, but didn't) that I and maybe five other people in the gym saw. I felt lucky to have noticed it, it was so quick.
As for not missing? Well, at that point he wasn't missing much. Like I said, he was averaging just under 30 a game at the time.
I see your point on second person, though, and it's not something to use often. Just felt it worked in this case, as a different way to suck the reader into a long feature story.

Again, FWIW, this story placed second in the state press awards that year behind another story I wrote. Either this board is one tough crowd, the judging was done on arts and crafts day at the state mental hospital, or everything else in our division sucked ass.

 

[spnited]

I'm from the "never say never" school. The lede for the allergies story was written in second person. It worked for that story.

well...I'd like to read that lede.

This was a story about allergists seeing more people coming their way in Maryland:

"If you could stop rubbing your itchy, watery eyes for one second, put down the tissue and look around, you'd see an increasing number of sneezing, sniffling sad sacks just like you."

Maybe I'm not the one to criticize ledes, but I don't like it either. Almost feels like the writer is fussing at me for sneezing. I'm sure it worked for that story, and it catches you, but perhaps not for the reasons the writer intended.

Pretty funny Batman that a second-person lede that seems to specifically address a group of readers, is short and to the point, doesn't work in your mind.
Yet your rambling piece of fictional "you" lede -- what was that, about 10 graphs with no point? -- is an award winner.

I have no problem with where you were trying to go with the second-person lede. It just didn't get where you wanted it to go. I think the "you" is vague, and I think it rambles on way too long.