Thanks, ****

[Idaho]

Memo from publisher **** High of the North County Times in explaining some staff layoffs

Folks,

You know we have had some layoffs this week, a regrettable necessity.

Fortunately, we have been able to limit the number to only seven, all good people who will be missed here.

I see no need for further cuts.

We are competing in a tough economic marketplace right now, requiring
attention to our costs and revenue.

I am optimistic that our paper is gaining ground against our many fine competitors. For instance, our North County Times daily circulation is UP over the past 6 months, something that will be reported shortly. This success makes us stand out favorably against other papers. We have a good newspaper and our community knows it.

Another reason for optimism is that after a winter lull, our revenues
are roaring back beyond any expectations, and our internet continues
to boom.

Overall, I think we are doing well, thanks to your excellent work. Now we have to refocus on making the best, most competitive paper and internet that we can.

Thanks,
****

 

[Ace]

Hey, ****. I've got a suggestion for one more cut you might wanna consider.

 

[BillySixty]

I've gotten the same memo twice in the last year from the same guy.

Instead of saying "we don't see any future cuts" they should tell the truth. Say "we have absolutely no idea what's going to happen in six months."

 

[Mystery_Meat]

So **** High's circulation is up? It must be awfully high then!

 

[Clever username]

I am optimistic that our paper is gaining ground against our many fine competitors. For instance, our North County Times daily circulation is UP over the past 6 months, something that will be reported shortly. This success makes us stand out favorably against other papers. We have a good newspaper and our community knows it.

Another reason for optimism is that after a winter lull, our revenues
are roaring back beyond any expectations, and our internet continues
to boom.

That said, **** you. Bend over and take it like a man. Muwahahahaha.

Thanks,
****

 

[Ace]

Translation: Keep working hard so I can make my BMW payments till I need to lay you off.

 

[slappy4428]

What a ****!

NO ONE said that yet?

 

[Ace]

No, but now that you mention it, he does seem rather, well, dickish.

 

[Rambler]

I love how he addresses the memo with "folks."


"You know, we're all in this together, folks. Now, I need to get to my massage."

 

[Montezuma's Revenge]

Well, at least there's truth in advertising with his name.

 

[Montezuma's Revenge]

****, addressing the troops: "We're all in the same yacht -- er, boat."

 

[John]

Yes, let's make it a competitive Internet.

 

[Piotr Rasputin]

You ****!

(If someone who knows how to post pictures happens to find one of Jeff Spicoli, I would appreciate it)

 

[Mystery_Meat]

On my new replies to my topics list, the threads are are listed as follows:

Sports reporter to undergo sex change operation
Thanks, ****!

I giggled.

 

[Ace]

On my new replies to my topics list, the threads are are listed as follows:

Sports reporter to undergo sex change operation
Thanks -- for nothing! -- ****!

I giggled.

 

[Johnny Dangerously]

**** will make you slap somebody: ****, to be more specific.

 

[Johnny Dangerously]

You ****!

(If someone who knows how to post pictures happens to find one of Jeff Spicoli, I would appreciate it)

The quote, I believe, came right after this:

 

[Fenian_Bastard]

Don't shoot anyone in the face!
Sorry, wrong ****.

 

[chazp]

I think there is a need for just one further cut. Does anyone know Lorena Bobbit's phone number? She'd know how to take care of ****!

 

[Write-brained]

Hey, where's the guy who started the only and just thread?

"Only seven." This is a great example of when not to use only, as in ONLY seven were thrown out on their ass and forced to look for new jobs. Isn't that like half the staff?

Would've been much better to say that we unfortunately had to fire seven people. Seven too many but we will work harder to turn things around ... blah, blah blah. Whadda ****.