Suck it, Gwyneth

[Care Bear]

Gwyneth Paltrow is People Magazine's Most Beautiful *****:

http://www.people.com/people/package/article/0,,20360857_20692638,00.html

"My family makes me feel beautiful."

Blech. These ****ers swear they never wear makeup and always feel their best in jeans and old shirts. Such bull****.

 

[Uncle.Ruckus]

I don't know. I'm guessing Gwyneth gives lousy head.

 

[Versatile]

When you name one kid after the gag you used for its S&M conception and the other for a prophet who freed a people from slavery, it's tough to say you love both equally.

 

[93Devil]

She's a very attractive woman.

 

[Ace]

She's a 6.1!

 

[Mizzougrad96]

I just looked at the calendar and it's not 1998 anymore...

 

[Inky_Wretch]

When you name one kid after the gag you used for its S&M conception ...

Apple? Really!?!

 

[Mizzougrad96]

My college roommate used the be the director of operations for one of the basketball arenas and said the first time Coldplay came in, the only thing they had on their rider was that basketballs be available so they could shoot hoops... He said all of the band members were really cool and loose and got along with everybody...

Anyway... About a year later, Coldplay comes back. This time the rider is several pages long. The band arrived and they weren't talking to each other or anyone else... My friend asked one of their managers what was wrong and why are things so different from the last time they were in town...

He was told... "This time, Gwyneth came along..."

 

[Versatile]

When you name one kid after the gag you used for its S&M conception ...

Apple? Really!?!

Don't ask me, ask Gwyneth Paltrow.

 

[bumpy mcgee]

Must have been a slow year for beautiful women.

 

[Versatile]

It's always fun when you recognize one of Mizzougrad96's stories from a previous thread. He's like the funny uncle from your family reunion, except he never stops to ask "Did I ever tell you the one about ..."

My college roommate used the be the director of operations for one of the basketball arenas and said the first time Coldplay came in, the only thing they had on their rider was that basketballs be available so they could shoot hoops... He said all of the band members were really cool and loose and got along with everybody...

Anyway... About a year later, Coldplay comes back. This time the rider is several pages long. The band arrived and they weren't talking to each other or anyone else... My friend asked one of their managers what was wrong and why are things so different from the last time they were in town...

He was told... "This time, Gwyneth came along..."

Heard the same story. One of my best friends is the director of operations at a basketball/hockey arena and he said Kowalczyk and one of the Gallagher brothers from Oasis were the biggest pains in the ass he ever had to deal with.

He has crazy stories about riders that certain bands have had.

He said several years ago, Coldplay was in town and the band's manager or whatever called him and he said, "What does the band need?"

He was told they wanted a basketball so they could shoot hoops. Nothing else...

A couple years later Coldplay comes back and the manager calls him again and gives him a laundry list of things that needed to be done before the band was there. My friend asked him why they needed so much this time, but so little the previous time.

The answer: Gwyneth is coming along.

A friend of mine is a concert promoter and told me a great story when they brought Coldplay in. He said that for a pretty big band, Coldplay had a very simple rider and that all of the requests were very typical and reasonable.

A few days before the show they found out Gwyneth was tagging along and Gwyneth's people sent a new rider that was the most ridiculous my friend has ever seen. Certain kinds of flowers had to be there, a brand of bottled water than they only sell in California, she wanted some kind of candy that they make in Europe that is nearly impossible to get in the states.

He got the flowers and the water, but whiffed on the candy. She apparently threw a ****fit when she got there and treated everybody like a complete c-word. Apparently the band members, including Martin, were all pretty embarrassed and were apologizing for her...

 

[YGBFKM]

When you name one kid after the gag you used for its S&M conception ...

Apple? Really!?!

Don't ask me, ask Gwyneth Paltrow.

Chris Martin seems like they type who enjoys being gagged.

 

[Uncle.Ruckus]

You remember a Mizzou story from being a lurker six years ago?

 

[Mizzougrad96]

It's always fun when you recognize one of Mizzougrad96's stories from a previous thread. He's like the funny uncle from your family reunion, except he never stops to ask "Did I ever tell you the one about ..."

My college roommate used the be the director of operations for one of the basketball arenas and said the first time Coldplay came in, the only thing they had on their rider was that basketballs be available so they could shoot hoops... He said all of the band members were really cool and loose and got along with everybody...

Anyway... About a year later, Coldplay comes back. This time the rider is several pages long. The band arrived and they weren't talking to each other or anyone else... My friend asked one of their managers what was wrong and why are things so different from the last time they were in town...

He was told... "This time, Gwyneth came along..."

Heard the same story. One of my best friends is the director of operations at a basketball/hockey arena and he said Kowalczyk and one of the Gallagher brothers from Oasis were the biggest pains in the ass he ever had to deal with.

He has crazy stories about riders that certain bands have had.

He said several years ago, Coldplay was in town and the band's manager or whatever called him and he said, "What does the band need?"

He was told they wanted a basketball so they could shoot hoops. Nothing else...

A couple years later Coldplay comes back and the manager calls him again and gives him a laundry list of things that needed to be done before the band was there. My friend asked him why they needed so much this time, but so little the previous time.

The answer: Gwyneth is coming along.

A friend of mine is a concert promoter and told me a great story when they brought Coldplay in. He said that for a pretty big band, Coldplay had a very simple rider and that all of the requests were very typical and reasonable.

A few days before the show they found out Gwyneth was tagging along and Gwyneth's people sent a new rider that was the most ridiculous my friend has ever seen. Certain kinds of flowers had to be there, a brand of bottled water than they only sell in California, she wanted some kind of candy that they make in Europe that is nearly impossible to get in the states.

He got the flowers and the water, but whiffed on the candy. She apparently threw a ****fit when she got there and treated everybody like a complete c-word. Apparently the band members, including Martin, were all pretty embarrassed and were apologizing for her...

Stop stalking me!!!

 

[Versatile]

You remember a Mizzou story from being a lurker six years ago?

No, I remembered it from a year ago. But when I searched for it, I found the third one.

 

[Buck]

I don't know. I'm guessing Gwyneth gives lousy head.

You'd have to ask Harvey Weinstein.

 

[Riptide]

Care Bear, here's a better version of the story:

Hollywood’s most hated celebrity
Gwyneth Paltrow is the world’s most beautiful woman

Gwyneth Paltrow — who recently surpassed people like Chris Brown and Lindsay Lohan to be named Hollywood’s most hated celebrity — has been crowned the world’s most beautiful woman, at least on the outside.

http://yhoo.it/YQQSuX

 

[spikechiquet]

Beautiful women don't smoke.


Unless it's pole.


End of story.

 

[Versatile]

So almost no actresses until maybe 1990 were beautiful?

 

[clintrichardson]

Care Bear, here's a better version of the story:

Hollywood’s most hated celebrity
Gwyneth Paltrow is the world’s most beautiful woman

Gwyneth Paltrow — who recently surpassed people like Chris Brown and Lindsay Lohan to be named Hollywood’s most hated celebrity — has been crowned the world’s most beautiful woman, at least on the outside.

http://yhoo.it/YQQSuX

just guessing, obviously, but i wonder if the most hated vote inspired her PR people to work really hard on getting her the "beautiful" thing.

Perhaps I am just fondly remembering the episode of the Larry Sanders show where Larry and Ben Stiller were having their people battle bitterly for the last spot on People's Sexiest Man list.