Retirement/relocation destination?

[Jake from State Farm]

That’s not all that long a trip, maybe a half-hour under normal circumstances. Were you just that completely exhausted?

After working all day and drinking all night in New Orleans? Absolutely

 

[Inky_Wretch]

When my wife and I were dating, we (along with one of my roommates) drove to Colorado for a friend's wedding. We left at 6 pm with the plan to drive all night in shifts. Things were going well until about 4 am in Kansas.

She was driving, I was asleep in the passenger seat of my 1992 Jeep Grand Cherokee and my roomie was asleep in the backseat. All of a sudden, I hear "thump, thump ... thumpthumpthump." She says "Hey, wake up, I think we have a flat." I bolted awake and went into emergency mode.

I look over at the speedometer and she is driving 110 mph through the plains. I yell at her to slow down and realize it can't be a flat because at that speed we've have wrecked or, at least, been throwing sparks as the tire shredded off the rim. I reach down and flip on the four KC HiLights mounted to the brush guard. And that's when I saw it.

Prairie dogs. Dozens - if not hundreds - of them on the interstate. And we were plowing through them at 100 mph.

She slows down to 80 and we get out of the cluster of rodents. I spot a truck stop in the distance and tell her to pull off up there to check the carnage. Bits of fur and blood are all over the undercarriage of the SUV. My buddy came out and said the guy at the register said that happens when a colony of prairie dogs gets too big and they migrate across the highway to new territory.

 

[MisterCreosote]

If you ever find a copy of the HORDE concert movie that MTV did in 1996, if you pay attention you'll spot a much younger version of me standing in a circle near the stage with some friends smoking a joint during ... Rusted Root? Lenny Kravitz? Blues Traveler? ... I know it wasn't DMB because the sun was still up.

That’s awesome.

I think we went the year before. It was my first live taste of the Black Crowes, who are still to this day my favorite live band.

The only other thing I remember was it was right after Jerry Garcia died and every band on every stage did (lengthy) Dead tributes. I ****ing hate the Dead — fortunately, all of those tributes came with a healthy dose of hallucinogenics.

 

[Inky_Wretch]

I ****ing hate the Dead

 

[SixToe]

Prairie dogs. Dozens - if not hundreds - of them on the interstate. And we were plowing through them at 100 mph.

I am enjoying a hearty chortle, cackle and guffaw thinking of this.



As for relocation or retirement, Ms. SixToe prefers the beach. I'd rather have a nasal lobotomy with a screwdriver than live there. I prefer the mountains, but she hates cold weather.

I'm resolved that at some point we will be living on a beach, although currently having parents in their 80s and also being 7 hours from grandchildren likely will prevent such a move.

 

[Shropshire Slasher]

Speaking of New Orleans, it’s a 7-hour drive for me and I decided when I was still in my early 30s that this is probably the limit for driving. Anything much farther than that would be flown.

 

[ChrisLong]

When my wife and I were dating, we (along with one of my roommates) drove to Colorado for a friend's wedding. We left at 6 pm with the plan to drive all night in shifts. Things were going well until about 4 am in Kansas.

She was driving, I was asleep in the passenger seat of my 1992 Jeep Grand Cherokee and my roomie was asleep in the backseat. All of a sudden, I hear "thump, thump ... thumpthumpthump." She says "Hey, wake up, I think we have a flat." I bolted awake and went into emergency mode.

I look over at the speedometer and she is driving 110 mph through the plains. I yell at her to slow down and realize it can't be a flat because at that speed we've have wrecked or, at least, been throwing sparks as the tire shredded off the rim. I reach down and flip on the four KC HiLights mounted to the brush guard. And that's when I saw it.

Prairie dogs. Dozens - if not hundreds - of them on the interstate. And we were plowing through them at 100 mph.

She slows down to 80 and we get out of the cluster of rodents. I spot a truck stop in the distance and tell her to pull off up there to check the carnage. Bits of fur and blood are all over the undercarriage of the SUV. My buddy came out and said the guy at the register said that happens when a colony of prairie dogs gets too big and they migrate across the highway to new territory.

That's funny and something I've thought about. What if there was damage to your car and you put in an insurance claim. "I ran into a herd of prairie dogs."
One time I was driving to Lake Isabella, near Bakersfield in Kern County, north of L.A. County. On a country highway, I encountered severe wind that kicked up a hellacious dust storm. I couldn't see past my front bumper so I was creeping along about 5 mph, careful not to hit the car in front of me (which I couldn't see) waiting to be rear-ended. When it finally cleared a little bit, I saw one of those giant irrigation systems that can roll across a field -- large steel wheels with the axle being the water tube. The wind blew it across the highway. If it had hit my car, how does this sound to an insurance adjuster: "Well, sir, I was hit by an irrigation system."

 

[micropolitan guy]

That's funny and something I've thought about. What if there was damage to your car and you put in an insurance claim. "I ran into a herd of prairie dogs."
One time I was driving to Lake Isabella, near Bakersfield in Kern County, north of L.A. County. On a country highway, I encountered severe wind that kicked up a hellacious dust storm. I couldn't see past my front bumper so I was creeping along about 5 mph, careful not to hit the car in front of me (which I couldn't see) waiting to be rear-ended. When it finally cleared a little bit, I saw one of those giant irrigation systems that can roll across a field -- large steel wheels with the axle being the water tube. The wind blew it across the highway. If it had hit my car, how does this sound to an insurance adjuster: "Well, sir, I was hit by an irritation system."

Hope you are insured by Farmers?

 

[dixiehack]

That's funny and something I've thought about. What if there was damage to your car and you put in an insurance claim. "I ran into a herd of prairie dogs."
One time I was driving to Lake Isabella, near Bakersfield in Kern County, north of L.A. County. On a country highway, I encountered severe wind that kicked up a hellacious dust storm. I couldn't see past my front bumper so I was creeping along about 5 mph, careful not to hit the car in front of me (which I couldn't see) waiting to be rear-ended. When it finally cleared a little bit, I saw one of those giant irrigation systems that can roll across a field -- large steel wheels with the axle being the water tube. The wind blew it across the highway. If it had hit my car, how does this sound to an insurance adjuster: "Well, sir, I was hit by an irrigation system."

I was once driven around a quarry owned by my client.

“The number one rule is never drive into a dust cloud because there’s something solid in the middle of it.”

 

[TheSportsPredictor]

A buddy moved to Colorado a few years back and would drive back to Cleveland when he came. And this wasn't once every three years -- more like once every three months. Supposedly he was saving money, but I can't imagine it was worth it. It's a 20-hour drive. He has since moved back.

 

[Slacker]

I can't top Inky's prairie dogs story, but I once got a raccoon around midnight while doing 90 mph on an interstate. I didn't see it until too late, and it froze in my headlights, so I just steered straight over it and hoped the car frame would clear it between the tires.

Alas, no such luck. ... And even today, 40 years later, I can still hear
and feel the little varmint going BUMP-BUMP-BUMP-BUMP-BUMP
as it bounced its way hard along the undercarriage in the dark of night.

Good times. And a great little car, that Capri. It looked just like this one ...

 

[Gym Beam]

Since we have drifted off into tales of murdering animals on the roads... team bus was headed back to campus after a lengthy trip to West Texas and the driver was kind of maniacal in some ways. BAM! A huge buck goes flying by after he nailed it full speed. His response? "WOOOOOOOHOOOOO GOT ANOTHER ONE!"

Anyone not awake from the impact was certainly stirred by his redneck war cry.

 

[Slacker]

Since we have drifted off into tales of murdering animals on the roads

I got a duck once, but it wasn't my fault.
Dumb quacker flew straight into my front left fender.

Only regret is that it wasn't two or three Canada geese instead.

 

[dixiehack]

I once took out a deer maybe 500 feet past the Welcome to Mississippi sign on a near-deserted US highway at night. My Toyota still ran, but it took a lot of peeling back metal and improvising with elastic cords to keep the sheet metal off the front left tire so I could limp home the next day.

 

[ChrisLong]

Just a cat that ran in front of my car 2 blocks from home. I felt bad that I took out somebody's pet, but then I figured if the cat was dumb enough to run in front of my car, it deserved a mention on the Feline Darwin list.

I had friends who owned Capris and they loved driving them. But there was something about the U-Joint. Don't remember exactly. But it was like, the U-Joint was welded to the undercarriage, or it was all one piece. If the U-Joint went out, you had to replace the whole frame of the car.

 

[Driftwood]

I can tell you for certain, there isn't enough clearance between the oil pan of of '92 Thunderbird and a possum. I honestly tried to clear him, but it didn't work.

I lost my **** on my wife one time because she hit a deer in a traffic circle. "How GD fast were you going or how much were you not paying attention to hit a deer in a F'KIN TRAFFIC CIRCLE!"

 

[Jake from State Farm]

I got a deer on my way back to Marquette. I was going about 50 on M28 when I saw a baby doe standing in the road. It was snowing just enough I would have skidded off the road if I slammed on the brakes so I took my foot off the gas and hit it. In the UP it’s so common my insurance company picked up the deductible. I stayed in Newberry for the night but the motel had no phones and I couldn’t leave a wake-up call. Boy was my boss pissed when I finally got to a phone at 10 am. They sent a staffer out to get me and I picked up the car, which needed a new radiator, the following week

 

[Mr._Graybeard]

I got a deer on my way back to Marquette. I was going about 50 on M28 when I saw a baby doe standing in the road. It was snowing just enough I would have skidded off the road if I slammed on the brakes so I took my foot off the gas and hit it. In the UP it’s so common my insurance company picked up the deductible. I stayed in Newberry for the night but the motel had no phones and I couldn’t leave a wake-up call. Boy was my boss pissed when I finally got to a phone at 10 am. They sent a staffer out to get me and I picked up the car, which needed a new radiator, the following week

My Finnish progenitors settled not far off M28, halfway between Munising and Marquette. Beautiful country. I'd live there if my wife would let me.

One night I was driving out on Interstate 43 near Alpine Valley, an area with some blind hills. As I crested a hill doing about 75 in my E30 BMW I looked eyeball to eyeball with a yearling doe. She ducked a bit, and I ran over her. That minimized damage, but she took out the oil cooler and sidelined me till the tow truck came. One of half a dozen deer collisions I've experienced.
On another night I was driving home in the Waukesha County exurbs in an old Mercedes, an '82 300TD. It was just after fawning season, and a fawn and its mother stood serenely in both lanes of the freeway. I picked the fawn, barely felt the impact. The next morning I looked for damage and there basically wasn't any on the car.

 

[WriteThinking]

When my wife and I were dating, we (along with one of my roommates) drove to Colorado for a friend's wedding. We left at 6 pm with the plan to drive all night in shifts. Things were going well until about 4 am in Kansas.

She was driving, I was asleep in the passenger seat of my 1992 Jeep Grand Cherokee and my roomie was asleep in the backseat. All of a sudden, I hear "thump, thump ... thumpthumpthump." She says "Hey, wake up, I think we have a flat." I bolted awake and went into emergency mode.

I look over at the speedometer and she is driving 110 mph through the plains. I yell at her to slow down and realize it can't be a flat because at that speed we've have wrecked or, at least, been throwing sparks as the tire shredded off the rim. I reach down and flip on the four KC HiLights mounted to the brush guard. And that's when I saw it.

Prairie dogs. Dozens - if not hundreds - of them on the interstate. And we were plowing through them at 100 mph.

She slows down to 80 and we get out of the cluster of rodents. I spot a truck stop in the distance and tell her to pull off up there to check the carnage. Bits of fur and blood are all over the undercarriage of the SUV. My buddy came out and said the guy at the register said that happens when a colony of prairie dogs gets too big and they migrate across the highway to new territory.

Is your wife generally such a fast/illegal driver? :)

 

[maumann]

When my wife and I were dating, we (along with one of my roommates) drove to Colorado for a friend's wedding. We left at 6 pm with the plan to drive all night in shifts. Things were going well until about 4 am in Kansas.

She was driving, I was asleep in the passenger seat of my 1992 Jeep Grand Cherokee and my roomie was asleep in the backseat. All of a sudden, I hear "thump, thump ... thumpthumpthump." She says "Hey, wake up, I think we have a flat." I bolted awake and went into emergency mode.

I look over at the speedometer and she is driving 110 mph through the plains. I yell at her to slow down and realize it can't be a flat because at that speed we've have wrecked or, at least, been throwing sparks as the tire shredded off the rim. I reach down and flip on the four KC HiLights mounted to the brush guard. And that's when I saw it.

Prairie dogs. Dozens - if not hundreds - of them on the interstate. And we were plowing through them at 100 mph.

She slows down to 80 and we get out of the cluster of rodents. I spot a truck stop in the distance and tell her to pull off up there to check the carnage. Bits of fur and blood are all over the undercarriage of the SUV. My buddy came out and said the guy at the register said that happens when a colony of prairie dogs gets too big and they migrate across the highway to new territory.

Apparently too graphic to be filmed as a scene for the "Cannonball Run" or "Gumball Rally." However, it gave a Texas gas station owner an amazing idea for a chain of stores featuring a decapitated prairie dog head logo.