Patton Oswalt goes back to school.

[Bob Slydell]

Patton Oswalt gave the commencement speech at his old high school. He starts out funny, naturally, but then goes on to give a great speech. Enjoy.


http://www.pattonoswalt.com/index.cfm?page=spew&id=83


All we got was the publisher of our local paper. I mean, Gary Sandy went to my high school!

 

[Mizzougrad96]

I saw Oswalt a few years back.

Heckler: Why do you still do that stupid show (King of Queens)?

Oswalt: Because they pay me $50K a week to work three hours a day.

 

[imjustagirl]

That's a fantastic speech.

 

[Bob Slydell]

I particularly love his mention of Chess King. I think I had some parachute pants from there back in the day. And by back in the day I mean 2002.

I think I got my first Member's Only jacket there as well.

 

[Jay Sherman]

He got into William & Mary with a 2.71 GPA?

 

[Evil ... Thy name is Orville Redenbacher!!]

I particularly love his mention of Chess King. I think I had some parachute pants from there back in the day. And by back in the day I mean 2002.

I think I got my first Member's Only jacket there as well.

Chess King was so awesome! I so desperately wanted a Fly Suit from Chess King.
Probably not a good idea for a 135-pound W.Va. white kid to be strutting around in a fly suit, but damn!

 

[John]

That was great.

I never bought anything from Chess King, but I bet I walked by the store 10,000 times in middle school, when all there was to do was walk around the mall.

 

[imjustagirl]

When I was in college, I had a crush on a guy who worked at Chess King. I can't remember his name, but we had mutual friends.

That was the only time I ever went in that store.

 

[Smallpotatoes]

I first saw him on Reno 911 as the Dungeons and Dragons guy. It was one of my favorite parts of the show.

 

[Killick]

When I was in college, I had a crush on a guy who worked at Chess King. I can't remember his name, but we had mutual friends.

That was the only time I ever went in that store.

Lemme guess. He had a fetish about fingers and weird shots?

 

[KYSportsWriter]

When I was in college, I had a crush on a guy who worked at Chess King. I can't remember his name, but we had mutual friends.

That was the only time I ever went in that store.

Lemme guess. He had a fetish about fingers and weird shots?

Nope.

Just an accent.

 

[imjustagirl]

NEITHER!

 

[CentralIllinoisan]

That speech was flat-out fantastic. Used the perceived pretension of world travels and turned it on its ear by saying those things means more when you stay in the moment and appreciate those with whom you share them.

Very moving.

 

[Theoldbenchwarmer]

I wonder how it was accepted by the people in the audience. I mean, he did (jokingly) encourage drug use a couple times. They probably knew what to expect when they invited him.

It was a great speech though.

 

[kokane_muthashed]

Too bad he didn't mention the Rape Stove.