User 11148
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- Joined
- Jun 3, 2009
- Messages
- 20,151
It's that time of the year when your humble correspondent ensconces himself and his family in a rental house along the shore for two weeks. We've been coming here for years -- more than 20 years, actually -- but this is the first year I've really begun to ponder the kinds of changes that are aborning. Thought I'd post a thread to: a) noodle through it a bit; and b) see what some other folks 'round here have gone through in similar situations.
A bit of background: My oldest is a rising college senior, my middle child heads off to college in a couple of weeks, and my youngest will be in the 8th grade this year. Since we moved to Texas, we've tried hard to ensure they don't lose touch with their extended family. That's why, in part, we've passed on other vacation destinations and stuck to our summer routine (one or two weeks along the N.C. coast). Circumstances (schedule conflicts, $$$) may affect those plans occasionally, but usually come March or April we're planning our normal trip.
As the years have gone by, we've tended to have my mother and sister with us for one week and my wife's siblings and their children with us for the other. Changing financial circumstances (ours improving, her siblings' degrading) have led to my wife and me shouldering most (i.e., 90%+) of the cost of the trip. We've been glad to do it for the above-mentioned reason.
The thing is, given where our kids are in their lives, vacation time is going to soon become less about our kids catching up with their aunts/uncles/cousins and more about my wife and me catching up with our kids. We've seen this going on with some friends whose children are a bit older than ours (and who recently were blessed with their first grandchild); things change when the kids get grown.
It's also true, however, that our efforts re: this trip have become something of an entitlement, especially to my wife's siblings. I won't get into all of the details, but suffice it to say that when somebody's toting the note, that somebody gets to, by and large, set the terms (vis-a-vis, say, room assignments and the like). Apparently this fact is lost on my wife's siblings. I've kept my mouth shut about it, but my wife has started to get pissed (at them, not me).
My wife and I are largely in agreement that we're about ready to get out of the extended-family party business. She's of the opinion (sort of) that we should make a clean break by going somewhere else, thus precluding our families' even considering joining us. I'm of the opinion that we like this destination, so let's just conveniently get a place at which there's room only for our immediate family. Then we'll just say, "God, we'd love to see you! Let us know where you're staying!"
What says the board? Anybody go through something similar? How'd you deal with it?
A bit of background: My oldest is a rising college senior, my middle child heads off to college in a couple of weeks, and my youngest will be in the 8th grade this year. Since we moved to Texas, we've tried hard to ensure they don't lose touch with their extended family. That's why, in part, we've passed on other vacation destinations and stuck to our summer routine (one or two weeks along the N.C. coast). Circumstances (schedule conflicts, $$$) may affect those plans occasionally, but usually come March or April we're planning our normal trip.
As the years have gone by, we've tended to have my mother and sister with us for one week and my wife's siblings and their children with us for the other. Changing financial circumstances (ours improving, her siblings' degrading) have led to my wife and me shouldering most (i.e., 90%+) of the cost of the trip. We've been glad to do it for the above-mentioned reason.
The thing is, given where our kids are in their lives, vacation time is going to soon become less about our kids catching up with their aunts/uncles/cousins and more about my wife and me catching up with our kids. We've seen this going on with some friends whose children are a bit older than ours (and who recently were blessed with their first grandchild); things change when the kids get grown.
It's also true, however, that our efforts re: this trip have become something of an entitlement, especially to my wife's siblings. I won't get into all of the details, but suffice it to say that when somebody's toting the note, that somebody gets to, by and large, set the terms (vis-a-vis, say, room assignments and the like). Apparently this fact is lost on my wife's siblings. I've kept my mouth shut about it, but my wife has started to get pissed (at them, not me).
My wife and I are largely in agreement that we're about ready to get out of the extended-family party business. She's of the opinion (sort of) that we should make a clean break by going somewhere else, thus precluding our families' even considering joining us. I'm of the opinion that we like this destination, so let's just conveniently get a place at which there's room only for our immediate family. Then we'll just say, "God, we'd love to see you! Let us know where you're staying!"
What says the board? Anybody go through something similar? How'd you deal with it?
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