Nationals = 600 pounder at 4 a.m.

[MTM]

From Washington Post via benmaller.com:

The longer Julian Tavarez thought about the Nationals, they better they looked. The team first contacted Tavarez in November, inviting him to spring training on a non-guaranteed minor league contract. Tavarez said no. He kept waiting. He played earlier this month for the Dominican WBC team, throwing 1 1/3 innings. But with spring training just around the corner, Tavarez was still very much unemployed. The Nationals called again, offering the same deal. "Why did I sign with the Nationals?" Tavarez said on Sunday. "When you go to a club at 4 in the morning, and you're just waiting, waiting, a 600-pounder looks like J-Lo. And to me this is Jennifer Lopez right here. It's 4 in the morning. Too much to drink. So, Nationals: Jennifer Lopez to me."

I love the honesty from Tavarez.

 

[shotglass]

With apologies to Moddy, this is the ultimate Nationals comparison.

 

[mike311gd]

Would he have done the same had the '62 Mets called him twice?

 

[Moderator1]

I laughed like hell when I read that in the Post.
Of course, there's a reason all the hotties didn't want him. He's my age and he's no good.

 

[User 1019]

I'm sure his teammates are going to love that.

 

[TheSportsPredictor]

Washington Nationals -- the slumpbusters of the NL

 

[Fenian_Bastard]

I laughed like hell when I read that in the Post.
Of course, there's a reason all the hotties didn't want him. He's my age and he's no good.

And pretty much insane.

 

[forever_town]

I laughed like hell when I read that in the Post.
Of course, there's a reason all the hotties didn't want him. He's my age and he's no good.

And pretty much insane.

Not to mention a homophobic asshole.

Wonder if Jim Bowden's still pulling the strings somehow. ::)

 

[Armchair_QB]

In the interest of fairness, a 600-pounder would take one look at Julian and think he's slumpbuster herself.

Dude looks like his face caught on fire and somebody beat it out with a pair of track spikes.

 

[bostonbred]

Hysterical quote.

He's a very entertaining guy.

 

[shotglass]

That is a "before" picture if I ever saw one.

 

[forever_town]

Unavailable for comment:

 

[mustangj17]

I laughed like hell when I read that in the Post.
Of course, there's a reason all the hotties didn't want him. He's my age and he's no good.

That's awesome.

 

[Batman]

That's gotta be the marketing slogan in their next season ticket push, doesn't it?

"It's 4 a.m. You're alone. Two of the other good-looking teams have already left. But we're here. We'll keep you company on those long summer nights, big boy. We're the Nationals. We play baseball."
And, of course, the text is accompanied by pictures of Wily Mo Pena and Adam Dunn.

 

[Walter_Sobchak]

I tried in vain to find the video of Manny stroking Tavarez's head from a few years back. Seems the assholes at MLB won't allow anyone to host it.

 

[Inky_Wretch]

Now wait one damn second ... Moddy is only 35?

 

[KevinmH9]

Funny comments, but I'm not sure how much the Nationals' brass is going to appreciate those comments.

Nonetheless, he'll be one and done this year.

 

[forever_town]

Julian Tavarez (below) with the Washington Nationals at 4 a.m. after clubbing and too much drinking by Tavarez:

 

[HejiraHenry]

Why 600? That's the part that bugs me most.

 

[forever_town]

Why 600? That's the part that bugs me most.

More cushion for the pushin'.