'Me, too'

[cjericho]

OK, all the blacks here raise your hands for cjericho, mmmkay?

OK so Riptide says
"Most, or all, of the blacks are gone from this site now. That says a lot, too"

Then when asked how he knows that, the answer is "dunno how many minorities we have or had here, but

Yeah, OK, read better. mmmmkay.

 

[Riptide]

OK so Riptide says
"Most, or all, of the blacks are gone from this site now. That says a lot, too"

Then when asked how he knows that, the answer is "dunno how many minorities we have or had here, but

Yeah, OK, read better. mmmmkay.

If you wanna prove me wrong, have at it.

 

[cjericho]

If you wanna prove me wrong, have at it.

Mmmkay. You said most of the women and minorities have left the site. Then when asked how you knew that, you said dunno
mmmkay?

 

[Elliotte Friedman]

Part of the appeal for me here is I don't spend any time wondering who is who. I didn't know KJIM was female until this thread. (Lisa Olson still posts from time-to-time, which I consider to be very important.)

I have no idea what the racial breakdown of our site is. I would hope anyone would feel welcome. I recognize, however, that any chat forum that allows anonymity is going to have a problem.

 

[Riptide]

Mmmkay. You said most of the women and minorities have left the site. Then when asked how you knew that, you said dunno
mmmkay?

Perception. You know better?

 

[cjericho]

OK so your perception = fact. Got it.

 

[Riptide]

OK so your perception = fact. Got it.

It's not that hard, really. ... But, yeah, maybe for you.

 

[cjericho]

OK so whenever you want to give the list of most of the women and minorities who have left the site you can.

 

[Riptide]

OK so whenever you want to give the list of most of the women and minorities who have left the site you can.

Sure, no problem.

1. Care Bear.
2. IJAG.
3. Buckwheat.
4. Tonto.
5. Kool & the Gang.

How's that? More later!

 

[cjericho]

Sure, no problem.

1. Care Bear.
2. IJAG.
3. Buckwheat.
4. Tonto.
5. Kool & the Gang.

How's that? More later!

That's better than dunno.

 

[cjericho]

Haven't checked the new members, but there could be a lot of women and minorities, so the overall numbers may not have gone down.

 

[Riptide]

Haven't checked the new members, but there could be a lot of women and minorities, so the overall numbers may not have gone down.

Right!

 

[Gator]

Instead of ordering a newbie to the site to "fetch me a beer," we now force them to answer "are you black or a woman?" It'll be a big hit.

And I agree that there is little benefit to revealing anything about your personal life here. Others have done it (and some to great results, because I believe there are many, many good posters here), but I have refrained (for the most part) for the sole fact that there are just a couple of assholes with long memories.

 

[KJIM]

Well, yeah, you should. You are not right on this one. You can fume all you want, but context counts

Illustrates my point further. I'm not fuming. I'm sad. You don't get it. You really don't get it, and it honestly surprises you that women don't think your little jokes are funny. (Using "your" to mean men in general here. It's not just dw)

Man: "What was she wearing?"
Woman: "You don't get it."
Man: "Whatevs."
Woman: "You don't get it."
Man: "Lighten up."

And yet men are surprised that women just throw in the towel and let harassment go on for so long. We're conditioned to accept it, and that we "are not right" if we are even slightly offended at men's demeaning comments.

It just makes me so sad that you (plural) don't get it, but you (plural) don't.

 

[Pilot]

Thanks for sharing what you have, @KJIM. I'm sorry that **** happened to you.

The Weinstein news and the related discussions ("me, too", of course) have certainly made me reevaluate my own world. I don't know. I don't have more coherent thoughts than that right now, other than to say there's plenty to think about.

 

[Vombatus]

Thanks for sharing what you have, @KJIM. I'm sorry that **** happened to you.

The Weinstein news and the related discussions ("me, too", of course) have certainly made me reevaluate my own world. I don't know. I don't have more coherent thoughts than that right now, other than to say there's plenty to think about.

Same here. I'm in the process of becoming woke and reevaluating things. Seriously - no matter how old you are, we are capable of learning and being better people.

I've been through some HR classes, and what matters is not what you think, but what others think. I do go through real life trying to put myself in other people's shoes to understand where they are coming from.

KJIM, many thanks for your posts in this thread. That really helped me gain some perspective.

VB

 

[typefitter]

Keep at it, @KJIM. People can change and come to understand at least a little what it's like. My attitudes have changed dramatically over the last several years. People aren't gonna flip a switch and suddenly be models of empathy and sensitivity, but please don't look at the world as a lost cause. Men need to hear what you're saying. Most will eventually. I hope so anyway.

 

[typefitter]

I'll give an example of learning here.

When the Weinstein stuff came out, I said to my girlfriend: "Why didn't these women say something sooner? If someone spoke up 20 years ago, it could have prevented so many other women from being assaulted."

I think that's a male perspective. Because if someone pulled that **** on me, I'd punch them or report them or plot to ruin them.

But my girlfriend explained that in the power dynamic that was at play there, any woman who pursued it would have been destroyed. Weinstein would have had them destroyed. They wouldn't have been believed, and he would have wrecked them besides. She asked me to imagine being in their position, with my career and dreams in the balance, and no real power to change anything. What would I have done then?

And I get that.

It just took an honest conversation about it, between two people who are willing to listen to each other. No yelling, no insults, just a conversation and a little empathy. It can go a long way.

 

[Azrael]

What's most important is that white, straight, Christian men get to decide what constitutes legitimate protest, what bothers women, what defines assault and then write it all into law. The system works!

 

[Songbird]

We've always had an undercurrent of cruelty that runs right alongside the undercurrent of kindness.