McSweeney's — Saved by the Bell: The Grad School Years

[Inky_Wretch]

Mikey, contain yourself ...

http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2009/3/23wayne.html

 

[The Big Ragu]

Great idea... I didn't love the execution.

 

[mike311gd]

Am I going to be pissed?

Let's find out.

 

[mike311gd]

I liked it. I could actually see this scene, but it was set in the college dorm room.

Screech: Technically, "I am coming in" would be the performative utterance, or illocutionary act.
(Slater smacks Screech on the head.)
Slater: "I am hitting you." How's that for an illocutionary act?
Screech: According to the Oxford Dictionary of Literary Terms, pretty accurate ... and hard!

 

[Mystery_Meat]

Three issues:

1. Ended abruptly. Like he realized deadline was in 15 minutes or he HnJ'd and saw he was about to go over on inch count. This could have been a lot longer.

2. Forced puns, oh how I had thee

3. The Saved By The Bell posse (and I use that term intentionally and anachronistically) NEVER hung out in dark places. Their apartment would have neon frames around their T.S. Eliot posters, and you know it.

 

[Small Town Guy]

This remains my all-time favorite McSweeny's piece: One coach's guide to covering Teen Wolf.

http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2005/11/4malla.html

While you're welcome to try it, my feeling is that man-to-man defense simply isn't an option. Some teams like to play a box-and-one, which generally works well against most lycanthropes. With Teen Wolf, though, you have to be careful. He'll just stand baying by the sideline while the rest of the Beavers run four-on-four. Then, at a signal from Coach Finstock, Teen Wolf will come screaming down the lane, fur bristling and fangs bared, for the alley-oop. (And with him having what's rumored to be a 78-inch standing vertical leap, rest assured he's even more difficult to stop once he gets up in the air.)

 

[The Big Ragu]

This is my favorite. I laugh every time I read it. I actually read it in Morgan Freeman's voice.

http://www.mcsweeneys.net/links/monologues/13morganfreeman.html

It is one of the short imagined monologues: Morgan Freeman buys a pop-a-shot machine.

 

[mike311gd]

Three issues:

3. The Saved By The Bell posse (and I use that term intentionally and anachronistically) NEVER hung out in dark places. Their apartment would have neon frames around their T.S. Eliot posters, and you know it.

Considering they've all got jobs -- forget that Zack and Kelly are married, by the way (not to mention Belding wouldn't hit on Kelly) -- they'd definitely have an arcade game or a jukebox in there, too.

I'd need a dictionary, but I would love to work with this guy and make this dream come true.

 

[Herky_Jerky]

Speaking of Saved By the Bell, here's a cause I know Mike and I can get behind ...

http://www.latenightwithjimmyfallon.com/blogs/2009/03/sign-the-saved-by-the-bell-petition/

I already signed up.

Join the movement.

 

[Football_Bat]

To each his own.