Love in the Afternoon (and Morning and Evening)

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The Big Ragu

Well-Known Member
Joined
Nov 14, 2002
Messages
30,281
I own a co-op apartment. For those of you who aren't familiar with that, it means you don't actually own your apartment (like a condo) but you are a shareholder in the entire building (like a corporation). I'm explaining that, so what is below will make sense.

My co-op is actually two attached buildings that are separated by a courtyard. It's not typical of the area. They are really quiet buildings because of the circumstances of exactly where I am located, and we don't have the typical city street noises. It's a joy to live here for more reasons than I could explain. The buildings date to the early 1900s, so they are solid and naturally sound-proofed. I rarely hear my neighbors or the people above or below me.

The last few months, though, I have heard a couple somewhere in the two buildings going at it. Often. I have no idea who they are or exactly where in the buildings they are. But I can't do justice to how loud the woman is. For those of you who remember the movie Porky's, she's the character played by Kim Cattrall (Lassie) multiplied by 100. This couple would make mating wild boars blush ... and they go at it at all hours of the evening. Whoever the guy is, he has some serious stamina. He's no BYH.

I kind of get a laugh out of it most of the time, although it got a little old a few nights ago at 3 a.m. when they had been going at it for a half hour and it sounded like her vocal cords were going to sever. But this is one of the quirks of living in this city. I've dealt with much worse things.

Anyhow, I am sorry for the long build up, but I wanted to share the e-mail from our managing agent that was just waiting for me at my home e-mail address ... he actually put the title that is the title of thread over it:

Love in the Afternoon (and Morning and Evening)

It has recently been brought to the attention of management and the XXXXX Board of Directors, both at the mid-summer meeting and by individual shareholders, that there have been numerous cases of loud noises emanating from an apartment in XXXXX of, let’s say, an “amorous” nature. Far be it from management, the Board of Directors or any shareholders to make any moral or social judgments on what people do in the privacy of their own home. However, this is not about passing judgment on private activity at all. It is about the very loud and somewhat embarrassing nature of the sounds. Many persons have heard them and somewhat sheepishly complained about them.

What we ask of all shareholders is that they we aware of and sensitive to all other building occupants and take measures so that they do not inadvertently share their obviously pleasurable and exciting activities in an audible way with the rest of the building.

We certainly don’t want to restrict perfectly legal activity but we do want to maintain a peaceful and tranquil environment. So, we would that all residents take the necessary measures to ensure that they keep their activities to themselves, as we are sure have been their intention all along. It could be as simple as closing a window or maybe referencing a different page in the Kama-sutra.

Thanks you for you understanding and compliance.

PS: Apologies to Gary Cooper, Audrey Hepburn and Billy Wilder for the use of their movie in the title.

Isn't where I live groovy?
 
I would suggest making an audio recording, then leaving it for the occupants... Makes the perfect Christmas gift...
 
In college... one of my roommate's friends got kicked off campus after putting his stereo speakers next to the window, hooking the stereo into the DVD player, putting a porno into the DVD player and turning up the stereo as loud as it would go.
 
Gonna find my baby, gonna hold her tight
Gonna grab some Afternoon Delight
My motto's always been "When it's right, it's right."
Why wait until the middle of a cold, dark night?

When everythings a little clearer in the light of day?
And we know the night is always gonna be here anyway?

Thinkin 'bout you's working up my appetite
Lookin' forward to a little Afternoon Delight
Rubbin' sticks and stones together makes the sparks ignite
And the thought of rubbin' you is getting so exciting

Skyrockets in flight!
Afternoon Delight!
Afternoon Delight!
Afternoon Delight!

Started out this morning feeling so polite,
I always thought a fish could not be caught that didn't bite.
But you got some bait a-waiting and I think I might
Like nibblin' a little Afternoon Delight

Skyrockets in flight!
Afternoon Delight!
Afternoon Delight!
Afternoon Delight!

Be waiting for me, baby, when I come around.
We can make a lot of loving 'fore the sun goes down

Thinkin' of you's workin' up a' appetite
Lookin' forward to a little afternoon delight
Rubbin' sticks and stones together makes the sparks ignite
And the thought of rubbin' you is getting so exciting

Skyrockets in flight!
Afternoon Delight!
Afternoon Delight!
 
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slappy4428 said:
I would suggest making an audio recording, then leaving it for the occupants... Makes the perfect Christmas gift...

I couldn't do that, even if it was my style. I have no idea who they are. But there are some pretty good-looking women in my building, so I am kind of curious about who the woman is and whether the noise translates to anything other than noise.
 
That is a pretty funny e-mail.

Initially, however, I really thought this thread was going to be a spoof of a certain person's next door neighbor.
 
OK ... how'd stoob get Ragu's password. (Kidding, kidding).

Tho, perhaps you should do some investigating to find out the guilty noisy party. Then ask to join (If this was a stoob thread, that woulda been in the story.).
 
Ragu, my man, I gots the answer for you.

Play these songs on a continuous loop:

EStreetJoe said:
Gonna find my baby, gonna hold her tight
Gonna grab some Afternoon Delight
My motto's always been "When it's right, it's right."
Why wait until the middle of a cold, dark night?

When everythings a little clearer in the light of day?
And we know the night is always gonna be here anyway?

Thinkin 'bout you's working up my appetite
Lookin' forward to a little Afternoon Delight
Rubbin' sticks and stones together makes the sparks ignite
And the thought of rubbin' you is getting so exciting

Skyrockets in flight!
Afternoon Delight!
Afternoon Delight!
Afternoon Delight!

Started out this morning feeling so polite,
I always thought a fish could not be caught that didn't bite.
But you got some bait a-waiting and I think I might
Like nibblin' a little Afternoon Delight

Skyrockets in flight!
Afternoon Delight!
Afternoon Delight!
Afternoon Delight!

Be waiting for me, baby, when I come around.
We can make a lot of loving 'fore the sun goes down

Thinkin' of you's workin' up a' appetite
Lookin' forward to a little afternoon delight
Rubbin' sticks and stones together makes the sparks ignite
And the thought of rubbin' you is getting so exciting

Skyrockets in flight!
Afternoon Delight!
Afternoon Delight!

Boyz II Men - I'll Make Love To You

Close your eyes, make a wish
And blow out the candlelight
For tonight is just your night
We're gonna celebrate, all thru the night
Pour the wine, light the fire
Girl your wish is my command
I submit to your demands
I'll do anything, girl you need only ask

Chorus:
I'll make love to you
Like you want me to
And I'll hold you tight
Baby all through the night
I'll make love to you
When you want me to
And I will not let go
Till you tell me to

Girl relax, let's go slow
I ain't got nowhere to go
I'm just gonna concentrate on you
Girl are you ready, it's gonna be a long night
Throw your clothes on the floor
I'm gonna take my clothes off too
I made plans to be with you
Girl whatever you ask me you know I'll do

Chorus

Baby tonight is your night
And I will do you right
Just make a wish on your night
Anything that you ask
I will give you the love of your life

Chorus

KID ROCK LYRICS

"Feel Like Makin' Love"

Baby when i think about you
I think about love
Darlin dont live without you
And you love
If i had these golden dreams
Of my yesterdays
I would wrap you in heaven
Till im dying on the way
Feel like makin love
Feel like makin love to you
Baby if i think about you
I think about love
Darlin if i live without you
I live without love

If i had the sun and the moon
I would give you both night and day
Of satisfyin
Feel like makin
Feel like makin love
Feel like making love to you
And if i had those golden dreams
Of my yesterdays
I would wrap you in heaven
Till im dyin on the way
Feel like makin love
Feel like makin love
Feel like makin love to you
 
screw that. Play the Ned Gerblansky version off of the South Park album. Incidentally, I've done that version karaoke style. I have no life.
 
you should add Donna Summer's "Love to Love You Baby" and Salt 'n' Pepa's "Push It" to Hockeybeat's playlist.
 

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