"Like having a mini-heartbeat in my crotch"

[goalmouth]

Dr. 90210 plumping women's G-spots with collagen, for better orgasms.

The lede I never want to write:

"David L. Matlock, M.D., stands poised before Rosemary Staltare's vagina, preparing to inject her G-spot with a dense dollop of collagen that will plump it to the size of a small stack of quarters."

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20896254/

 

[The Big Ragu]

That is wrong on multiple levels. What is the "it" that is getting plumped to the size of a small stack of quarters.

I think I have my new euphemism for the year, though. "I'm standing poised..." Mmm hmmm.

 

[Ace]

A small stack of quarters? She's gonna have to get a jockstrap for that thing.

 

[Ace]

That is wrong on multiple levels. What is the "it" that is getting plumped to the size of a small stack of quarters.

I think I have my new euphemism for the year, though. "I'm standing poised..." Mmm hmmm.

What is the "it?"

Give you a hint -- it rhymes with a woman's name that isn't Mulva.

 

[StormSurge]

GEORGE: The nickname. George. What is that? It's nothing. It's got no snap, no zip. I need a nickname that makes people light up.

JERRY: You mean like...Liza!

GEORGE: But I was thinking...T-bone.

JERRY: But there's no "t" in your name. What about G-bone?

GEORGE: There's no G-bone.

JERRY: There's a g-spot.

GEORGE: That's a myth.

 

[ArnoldBabar]

That is wrong on multiple levels. What is the "it" that is getting plumped to the size of a small stack of quarters.

I think I have my new euphemism for the year, though. "I'm standing poised..." Mmm hmmm.

What is the "it?"

Give you a hint -- it rhymes with a woman's name that isn't Mulva.

Umm, if you think the g-spot and the Delores are the same thing, you're probably doing it wrong.

 

[The Big Ragu]

GEORGE: That's a myth.

David L. Matlock, M.D., stands poised to disagree.

 

[Ace]

That is wrong on multiple levels. What is the "it" that is getting plumped to the size of a small stack of quarters.

I think I have my new euphemism for the year, though. "I'm standing poised..." Mmm hmmm.

What is the "it?"

Give you a hint -- it rhymes with a woman's name that isn't Mulva.

Umm, if you think the g-spot and the Delores are the same thing, you're probably doing it wrong.

You don't know Delores.

 

[JR]

I love the name of his company: Laser Vaginal Rejuvenation Institute.

Only in America.

 

[The Big Ragu]

I love the name of his company: Laser Vaginal Rejuvenation Institute.

Only in America.

I'd give anything for one day spent answering phones at that company.

"Hello. Laser Vaginal Rejuvenation Institute. This is Ragu. How may I help you?"

 

[JR]

"Hello. Laser Vaginal Rejuvenation Institute. This is Ragu. How may I help you?"

Stand poised, Ragu, stand poised.

 

[Ace]

Hi, Mr. 'Gu,

I'd like to see about a dense dollop.

 

[Batman]

Patient: Oh how ever will I pay for this collagen?
Dr. Matlock: (standing poised) Oh, I can think of something. Now let me give you this dense dollop, and we'll begin...
(cue synthesizer music)

 

[Pete Incaviglia]

That is wrong on multiple levels. What is the "it" that is getting plumped to the size of a small stack of quarters.

I think I have my new euphemism for the year, though. "I'm standing poised..." Mmm hmmm.

What is the "it?"

Give you a hint -- it rhymes with a woman's name that isn't Mulva.

Does it ryhme with Hest?

 

[hondo]

I love the name of his company: Laser Vaginal Rejuvenation Institute.

Only in America.

I'd give anything for one day spent answering phones at that company.

"Hello. Laser Vaginal Rejuvenation Institute. This is Ragu. How may I help you?"

"Press 1 for G-spot enhancement. Press 2 for wall reconstruction. Press 3 for clitorial rebuilding. All other inquiries, press 4."

 

[The Big Ragu]

You do push my buttons, hondo.

I have already been replaced with an automated message. Story of my life...

 

[21]

Hey baby, do you have change for a dollar?

 

[Ace]

Hey baby, do you have change for a dollar?

I think so. Help me find my roll of quarters.

 

[Fenian_Bastard]

I love the name of his company: Laser Vaginal Rejuvenation Institute.

Only in America.

I'd give anything for one day spent answering phones at that company.

"Hello. Laser Vaginal Rejuvenation Institute. This is Ragu. How may I help you?"

"Press 1 for G-spot enhancement. Press 2 for wall reconstruction. Press 3 for clitorial rebuilding. All other inquiries, press 4."

If it's my place to say so, this may be hondo's finest post ever.
LOTS of Diet Coke in the air.

 

[slappy4428]

Is that a stack of quarters in your g-spot or are you just happy to see me?