I'm sad ...

[Bubbler]

... because there's not enough people on SJ right now who can figure out the difference between me posting with a buzz and me posting without one.

I got the rare chance to go out and have a few drinks after work. Just wondering how impaired I might be.

I know one thing, I asked some drunk respiratory nurse who was hitting on one of my co-workers (the nurse saw my wedding ring, pointed to herself and said, "**** you! You're out of this loop!") what the most important part of her job was and she said it was pulling the plug on dying patients. I said that had to be hard, and she kind of shrugged and said she "got the **** out of the room" before the family started balling.

I told her it wouldn't be that ****ing hard if she gave them an extension cord if they happened to change their minds.

Then her drunk friend literally smacked me in the back of the head.

Good times.

 

[carrie]

Don't be sad, Bubble man.

I'll go fetch us beers. You're not drunk enough.

 

[Bubbler]

I don't know, I mean, I just edited my original post. How effing drunk could I be?

Anyway, I had this thought pop into my mind today when I was reading the Whitlock thingee on the journalism board. I wonder what would happen if I applied for a column job as Bubbler instead of my actual identity?

It would have to be the right job, I mean, ain't no way the NYT is hiring someone who can turn an oral sex phrase at the drop of the hat. It would have to be something irreverent.

I could just send in a resume as Bubbler, list some links here to SJ, and if they were interested, they could PM me on the site to find out more.

That plan couldn't possibly fail.

 

[Ashy Larry]

I don't know, I mean, I just edited my original post. How effing drunk could I be?

Anyway, I had this thought pop into my mind today when I was reading the Whitlock thingee on the journalism board. I wonder what would happen if I applied for a column job as Bubbler instead of my actual identity?

It would have to be the right job, I mean, ain't no way the NYT is hiring someone who can turn an oral sex phrase at the drop of the hat. It would have to be something irreverent.

I could just send in a resume as Bubbler, list some links here to SJ, and if they were interested, they could PM me on the site to find out more.

That plan couldn't possibly fail.

I'm ****faced, way.......wayyyyyy late for when I'd be home. But Bubbler, you writing here is great, and very "web" friendly........I don't take this the wrong way but like Bill Simmons.

 

[carrie]

I'd hire you, Bubbler.

If for nothing other than to entertain me.

 

[carrie]

Or 4) are Indians fans.

 

[Bubbler]

I'd totally kick Simmons' ass in a pop culture face off. All he has is Karate Kid and probably some dumb ass Fraggle Rock references in his wheelhouse, while I'd be slapping him around with a doozer's **** he'd be so overwhelmed with not only my references, but the knowledge behind them.

I mean, anyone can throw out a Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo reference, but was Simmons actually ever in a break dance, er, gang, like I was? Break yo-self, here come the B-Team Breakers! They're hyyyype! (scratch, scratch) Masters of the cardboard box! Worrrking the worrrrm! (but not the headspin because Boogaloo Shrimp broke his neck doing that ****).

Good Lord, I think I'm way ****ing past being buzzed ...

 

[Bubbler]

Most people that are sad on a consistent basis are people who number one are over achievers who were pressured at a early age to excel or not be accepted, two do not have any faith to stand on or three are just miserable people without a cause to motivate them to exist.

1. I've never overachieved at a God damn thing.
2. I have faith out the ****ing ying-yang.
3. I am a miserable person who is motivated to exist to make you miserable.

 

[Bubbler]

There are so many better things to be sad about ...

World hunger, poverty, indiansnetwork's joining this site, my returning to it ...

... Muslim-hating (kidding, kidding)

I'm not REALLY sad, just wish I got buzzed up sooner is all.

 

[sportschick]

There are so many better things to be sad about ...

World hunger, poverty, indiansnetwork's joining this site, my returning to it ...

There is no reason to be sad about you returning to this site, babe. Indiansnetwork on the other hand . . .

And I'll cop to being drunk off. my ass right now

 

[Bubbler]

There are so many better things to be sad about ...

World hunger, poverty, indiansnetwork's joining this site, my returning to it ...

There is no reason to be sad about you returning to this site, babe. Indiansnetwork on the other hand . . .

And I'll cop to being drunk off. my ass right now

Awesome!

 

[sportschick]

There are so many better things to be sad about ...

World hunger, poverty, indiansnetwork's joining this site, my returning to it ...

There is no reason to be sad about you returning to this site, babe. Indiansnetwork on the other hand . . .

And I'll cop to being drunk off. my ass right now

Awesome!

Hahaha. Nothing like drinking with a cute boy to get me liquored up!

 

[Bubbler]

There are so many better things to be sad about ...

World hunger, poverty, indiansnetwork's joining this site, my returning to it ...

There is no reason to be sad about you returning to this site, babe. Indiansnetwork on the other hand . . .

And I'll cop to being drunk off. my ass right now

Awesome!

Hahaha. Nothing like drinking with a cute boy to get me liquored up!

Cute boy? Yikes, was he 14 or something? Are you going to go steady?

 

[sportschick]

Oh, methinks SC doesn't go trolling the high schools for boys. But she is into the young'uns, that's for damn sure.

Hey, for the record he's 25, dammit!!!!!!!

And he has abs to die for, Buck. Betcha know who he is

 

[Bubbler]

Oh, methinks SC doesn't go trolling the high schools for boys. But she is into the young'uns, that's for damn sure.

Hey, for the record he's 25, dammit!!!!!!!

And he has abs to die for, Buck. Betcha know who he is

I have abs to lie for. As in, I'm perfectly fit and ripped.

But at least my ass ... oh ****, I'm not starting that **** again.

 

[Cadet]

So how is ab boy this evening?

 

[sportschick]

So how is ab boy this evening?

He's very good , and he's at the gym now. Boy doesn't drink . . . what's up with that! Weirdo!!!!!!!

 

[sportschick]

His abs are so ****ing bad ass my computer won't even load them.

Eh, sorry. Works for me!!!!

 

[Cadet]

Excellent catch, Bubbler. You get today's award for best use of the quote function.

 

[Cadet]

So how is ab boy this evening?

He's very good , and he's at the gym now. Boy doesn't drink . . . what's up with that! Weirdo!!!!!!!

Well, you are in a part of the country where that's not uncommon...

Besides, you don't want those extra calories going to his abs, now do you?